What 3 things would you not be seen dead wearing?

[recklessruby]

Aibu to ask what 3 things you would never ever wear (not necessarily together).
Mine are a bikini (too much like underwear in public and have wobbly cellulite)
High heels (i want to be able to walk when i m out not flouder around like a drunk ostrich)
And this horrible horrible hair colour i have accidentally dyed my hair (it was light brown fairish and is now freakishly white blonde).
Please distract me from crying about my hair horror until the shops open and i can sort it out!!

To be honest, I dont mind wearing shit clothes, it shit clothes that are intended to be fashionable or sexy that I have a problem with.

Nothing wrong with a fleece or sandals and socks if its practical.

1. A fleece jacket (except for hiking etc)
2. Slip-on Skechers
3. Tunics and leggings

I am in my 40s and I think these things look like I have totally given up.

I have read lots of the other posts and I love cropped trousers/cigarette pants for work. Especially pattered ones. They look really smart. I have nice slim legs and they show them off. Also I think animal print can look really elegant but depends what it is worn with.

Anything containing a cartoon character, I am not a child
Crocs or Uggs
Mini skirt or hot pants
Neon colours

Animal print can look fab if worn correctly. I love palazzo trousers, culottes and cigarette trousers- all part of my work attire (teacher).

Just wanted to be pedantic and say tattoos can’t be worn unless you mean those weird fake tattoo sleeves people buy in costume shops.

@Winteriscomingnow

My DH’s Mum wears that entire list. She is not very glamorous so I completely get your point .

A denim jacket with a collar but no sleeves.
Why do you need a collar if it’s warm enough for no sleeves?

Similarly I agree with a pp about open toed boots.

I must go and check out these irregular choice shoes you all hate so much!

Shorts
Any skirt that isn't long and loose
Any top without a sleeve

Crocs
cold shoulder tops
workout gear when not working out

A lot of it is about dressing for your shape - I have big hips and small ankles so skinny jeans make me look like I'm walking around on a pair of parsnips, so they're out. But 50s dresses are great.

Until a few months ago I would have said button shirts or blouses because they gape but I have discovered that bravissimo do brilliant ones that are cut just perfectly. @PoppingOneOutIn2020 you might find their clothes work for you too.

Slogans, busy prints and fur are also on my avoid list.

Animal print makes people look like Bet Linch or a Drag Queen.
I've thought of another that's not on here, a padded gilet/bodywarmer. The pinnacle of utter naffness.If its cold enough to need one then your arms need to be warm too surely?

Also things which say Superdry on them.

Anything strapless
Hot pants
Bikini

Weird but I can't stand the sound of the following three words and therefore could never ever wear

Chinos
Loafers
Cigarette pants

Chinos ffs - Mr Feckin Boden personified

this has really made me laugh!

i would say

1. fur
2. leopard print
3. open toe boots

but agree with pp about dressing for size. i am short and a 6/8 and some things make me look even shorter or pregnant but 3/4 pants and birkenstocks look ok in summer on me as do some dresses depending on cut and length

my dh used to buy me things that were in fashion which didnt suit me at all 🙄

Animal print is too much if you have blonde hair.

Bedroom wear outside the home
Tattoos/multiple piercings
Cold shoulder tops/dresses
Anything that shows VPL
Crocs
Animal print
Shoes with excessive heel height