Petty things you still can't forgive people for

[Milkbath]

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

Ooh this is cathartic...

My recent mat leave started with a few aquanatal classes. I was welcomed, mostly, by a group of women who’d already met at parentcraft classes that are only open to 1st time parents which I was not. However during a segment when the instructor was fetching some equipment and people were chatting in a circle, one women physically excluded me from the circle and declared “oooh, I love how we’re all having our first babies together!” Which both physically and factually excluded me. I’ve gone on to spend most of my maternity leave with others from the class, but have found it hard to say anything beyond civil to her when our paths have crossed. Oh yes I can hold a grudge...

For Christmas when I was about 8 my auntie bought my brother a Pokemon towel and facecloth set. I was so excited and ripped open my present to find a Winnie the Pooh set.

FUMING.

I was obsessed with Pokemon and DBro was only 2yo so didn't even know what it was. I cried at the time and it's still a sore point 20+ years later.

This doesn’t really bother me now but it was many years ago and I still remember it. I was working for a large company in London and used to have to co-host what were called ‘district visits’. This was when a group of employees from a branch office came to London for a day out and we hosted their lunch at our head office. A group came from one of the Welsh offices and there were eight of them and me at their lunch table and they spoke in Welsh for the entire lunch. I wouldn’t have minded if they’d made the occasional comment to me that I could understand but not one fucking word of English was spoken for the entire two hours. Rude bastards. I’d have said something now but I was only eighteen at the time.

dustarr73 I had something similar. Local councillor came into where I worked and was rude to me. I looked at him and said ‘You’re Councillor Wankjuice (not real name) aren’t you. I shall remember that comment next elections’. And I did. For years. He came to my door touting for votes, I reminded him. He was canvassing in the street with his sycophants, I went up and reminded him. I know how to bear a grudge I do.

His sycophants laughed a lot.

Not that long ago, dh on the phone to a family member, saying, 'Yes, were both fine, thanks!' - when I was prostrate on the sofa, full of co-codamol and effing SHINGLES!!!

The woman who made a complaint about me. It was so bad she had to move to another team, straight away. Despite the fact that the organisations we worked for had a v serious complaint against us (nothing to do with our team, only the organisation) So we were pretty much on the wrack, as we had to defend the accusations and we needed everyone with experience on board.

She ( and my boss) refused point blank to tell me what id done to provoke her actions. My boss just said the complainant had said she didn't want me to know what I had had done, only that it said more about the complainant than it did about me..

I wil never forgive that woman. She was a Chritian, so she said. She seemed to have no problem at all putting me in a position where I questioned every move I made on the day she approached my boss.

Over ten years ago, but I still feel the burning injustice of not even being allowed to defend myself. Though I have not the faintest idea what I did wrong that got such a massive response

I was about 6. One day a supply teacher was in our class because the normal teacher was off sick. My name is a very unusual Russian name. She refused to accept my spelling of my own name and insisted it could not possibly be spelled like that. I can still remember the impotent rage 50 years later!

@amusedbush maybe she labelled the gifts the wrong way around?

When I was about eight years old, I asked my Dad for a "Boys World" annual for Christmas. (It was a good comic, a bit like "The Eagle".)
When I opened it on Christmas Day, it was a "Boys Own" annual. (A much duller comic with few pictures).
He didn't know the difference.
I had to pretend to like it, but as you can see I have remembered it to this day.

Another school one. I think I was 7 and it was my birthday. When it was someone’s birthday, they used to stand on a chair and the class sang happy birthday. Except she flatly refused for my birthday. What made it worse was that a boy with a birthday the day after me, did get the birthday treatment.

She ended up being my class teacher for 3 years. Teacher was sacked a couple of years later for a long history of peculiar behaviour towards me and my friend. The head teacher told my parents he had sacked her for the psychological damage she caused to me in particular.

My birthday party when I was 6 and my mum had made a hedgehog cake with chocolate buttons for the spines. 3 boys sneaked into the kitchen and ate all the buttons. I had to blow out candles on a naked hedgehog.

This one isn’t too long ago.. last month but DS 19 months was naming colours of ball pit balls (albeit incorrect but he’s getting there) and I said in front of my friend to DS “aw you’re so clever and cute” squeezed him and gave him a kiss and she fully turned round and said “you will be bias though” I actually didn’t know how to respond.. petty I know but this was the first time she’d met DS and I just can’t get past that comment she’s just had her son and she sent over a picture saying how beautiful he is took everything I had in me to not reply something like “only a mother could love that one” or “you will be bias though” like she did to me

60 years ago.
We all had an early morning cup of tea brought upstairs by father. Not me because I was 3 years old.
One morning, my sisters, aged 11 and 13 decided they would do this.
I was so excited because I was to be allowed tea and also be allowed to drink it in the hallowed shrine that was their bedroom.
I can remember, sitting on the floor, legs outstretched being handed the green mug!
So thrilled!

Bitches had put salt in it.
How they laughed.

Never forgiven them

A boy in my class when I was 7 said I was rubbish and couldn't do anything because I was a girl. I hit him with a ruler. The plague of everyday sexism.

Just had Ds and Dh had to work away. Ds was three days old and I was struggling as he wouldn't settle at night and dealing with baby blues and stitches . Rang my Dm for help and she said Me and your dad think it's time for you to grow up and face responsibilities . Couldn't believe it. I have 2 Dd's and if they ask for help I'll be there in a heartbeat. Still hurts 18 years on.

About 20 years ago I got cut up on a roundabout in town. Annoying, but not unusual. What made me furious and still irritates me is that the kid in the back of the car (4x4, wouldn’t you know it) made rude gestures to me as they sped off. A fucking 10yo criticising my driving, when it was his cock of a dad who was the shit driver.

I’m mildly irritated by the two men who chased me down to take my photo with their dashcam after a slightly poor driving decision on my part - resulting in far more dangerous driving by them - but it’s that kid that really pisses me off.

Friend accusing me and my daughter of stealing when she knows I’d never do such s thing- ever. She found so called stolen money in her bag. She’s apologized numerous times since - with flowers, concert tickets. I’ve never really forgiven her

When I was 6 and riding me bike, 2 year old wanders in my path and I break just missing her.
The mother then calls me a silly cow. I was 6 so apologised.
I still see that mother 41 years later and she always smiles and says hello. I on the other hand get irrational rage and want to punch her fucking face in. Bitch
I’ll never forgive or forget

A slimy ex-colleague who I constantly had to cover for, deal with irate clients she'd badly pissed off and so on, told the company owners it was my fault that seral huge orders were wrong, costing the company £1000s. They were placed on the day I was being induced. As I said to them in front of her, if I were responsible I'd have had a good excuse for my mind not being on the job that day. Grrrr.

Boy in my secondary school class sets the fire alarm off at school. We all had to evacuate & he was found to be the culprit.
All of my year had to miss the end of school trip to the theme park as a collective punishment. WTAF ! I was in my class working when he did it.
To this day 25 year later I resent his actions & the school decision to not keep just him from attending the trip.

Petty: the family dog always preferred my brother growing up. I was the one who was an early riser and so fed the mutt each morning, yet the moment my brother appeared downstairs I might as well have been invisible.

Not so petty: I will never forgive my in laws for trying to convince DH not to ask me to marry him. They don't know I know and I will never mention it, but it still hurts. I try bloody hard with them, and they still don't especially like me.

Ooh this seems therapeutic. OK, my ex BF was wonderful most of the time but he was invited to a friend's house party to celebrate a group of us getting important exam results, and he asked me to come with him. This was about two months after a very sudden bereavement in my family and I was still a bit dazed by it all, but went along anyway to be sociable. Towards the end, the host got out a karaoke machine and my bf and another mate also joined on (most of the party stayed out of it). I was chronically shy anyway and wasn't that at ease with a lot of the people there, but I was also acutely aware I had a singing voice like a cat giving birth to a giant porcupine in the breech position while lying on a bed of cacti. The others would have pissed themselves laughing at me had I even tried to squeak a note. I just shook my head and smiled when my bf kept shoving the microphone into my face. On the way home from the party my bf kept having a go at me for not singing, chanting "coward, coward" and saying I was being ridiculous. He would bring it up afterwards, shouting "SING" at me. I know I wasn't a coward and considering the circumstances I thought I did well to go to the party at all. I've had do many imaginary arguments with him about this since, even though it was 20 years ago. I should probably let it go 🤣

@FlamedToACrisp

I doubt it, she has firm ideas about boys toys vs girls toys so I’m confident the ‘girly’ one was for me 😩

I don't think I ever forgave Margaret Thatcher for taking away free school milk and the distressed children whose parents forgot to give them milk money.

my father for continually cheating on my mother forever 20 years. Its petty because we all know he does it and we just leave him be. I love him - but i just cant get over it. I will never ever trust men.