Petty things you still can't forgive people for

[Milkbath]

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

I have so many. I'm one of those miserable fuckers that can hold a lot of grudges. A couple of mine;
When ds1 was a newborn my exBIL brought is daughter round to see my 3 day old son and she had a really bad case of tonsillitis. He asked if she could hold the baby, he then had the cheek to ask I could babysit her for half an hour. I refused both requests and asked them to leave. I still get annoyed when I think about it.
Another one, I had some timberland boots that my SIL had taken a fancy to (we used to live with her) and one snowy night she decided to take them without asking. I remember looking for them all over the house and couldn't find them anywhere and as the only other female in the house I asked if she'd taken them over text and she said no. She returned home and low and behold they reappeared. I've never been so angry!
Very petty things to stay angry over but they wound me up so much at the time the anger is still lingering!

My little sister gave my Sindy doll a feather cut. In 1969. Still seething.

Sounds very fashionable and of the time

A class-mate laughed at my party dress when I was 8, and her gang all laughed too. I was too scared to say why I was upset, and the birthday girl’s mum told me off for spoiling the party. I still remember the shame 😢

My nan saying "ugh, you still looked fat", in a photograph taken of me 5 days after giving birth to my first child. I was a size 10 with a baby belly.

I have far too many of these. But the two that linger are:

1. As a 7 month old baby in a sling, I was refused entry to a local art gallery because 'we don't allow under 16s'. Apparently DM said 'she can't even walk or talk, she's physically ATTACHED to me', but no. They refused me (and by extension, her) entry. Over the last few years, I've been invited to numerous events at same art gallery, and have gloated over refusing each and every single invitation. This vendetta has lasted nearly forty years now. I'm reliably informed that they are super family friendly now, but NO. I'm not giving this one up.

1. The cow in The Magic Roundabout was NOT called Daisy, Child's version of Trivial Pursuit, and your fuck up caused me to lose a game. See also the friends who smirked and said 'it's the answer on the card!' knowing full well I was right, the absolute shower of bastards.

Father in law going on the piss rather than seeing his grandson weekend he was born
Maybe he reads MN and knows that the in-laws are only allowed to visit the 'little family' the week before the child starts school, or maybe when her mother, the gatekeeper, says so.

Not me but DD1. She's 21 and we were talking about someone the other day, she said "oh that's x's sister"
Who's x I ask.
She looked aghast that I didn't remember she hasn't spoken to x ever since she took more than one crisp out of DDs packet when they were 6.
🙄

When I was in my mid teens I was standing in the 10 items or less queue in Sainsburys. A lady in the queue barked at me "this is for 10 items or less!" I replied that my basket had a bulky item in it but I actually only had 9 items. Instead of apologising she glared at me as if to say "young people today" for daring to correct her. I'm still pissed off with her 30 years later!

Years ago I was a very pregnant midwife on a postnatal ward. A woman who had no particular problems was making a huge fuss about having side room and one became available so I offered it to her.

This entailed moving all of her property and bed etc. So she sat on the bed whilst myself and another member of staff pushed. I asked her DH if he could help and he said ok and then proceeded to pick up her slippers from the bed and march down the ward towards her new single room.

Twat.

We passed the notes on to the main PTA Queen bee who hadn't been there, and she delivered it back into my hands complete with "spelling corrections". I seethed for weeks!

I'm afraid I would have laughed in her face if she'd done that to me.

I will never forgive the headteacher for the laughing sarcastic tone they had when my son (dyspraxic) won a race aged 5 at sports day. Petty I know.

DMIL when I started seeing her son, pulled me aside and whispered in ny ear "stay away from future DH, he's using you, do you think he'd be with a girl like you?"

She's usually great but I can't forget that.

When my sister got married she only asked one of my daughters to be flower girl - her h2b had said they could only afford 3 and insisted she had his brothers daughters.
I get that this is their day blah blah blah but my daughters are twins, they were 6 years old and she asked one of them in front of the other without any discussion to me about the circumstances first. I had to break one of my daughters hearts by either letting one be flower girl without the other, or saying both or none (might sound melodramatic but it felt that way) we went for the second option and mine and my sisters relationship has never been the same since.

My MIL whipped back the curtain on a busy 8 bed post natal ward as I was getting an internal examination done hours after my first DC was born. A midwife tried to stop her but she dismissed her saying "it's ok, I'm the grandmother" then stood there staring until the doctor told her to leave and shut the curtain. She then left in tears and refused to come back when the exam was finished because it was clear we didn't respect their status as grandparents and demanded I apologise for her being asked to leave (I didn't.)

We are not close for many reasons, this is the smallest of my grievances. We're LC now, thank goodness.

Ex friend ate my last prawn from my posh prawn cocktail when we were on hoilday.
I wouldn't care but I was moaning that for the price if it, I've only got 4 (albeit huge) prawns in the whole thing, he then spots another hidden beneath some sauce and before I can think sticks his fork in it and eats it.
Still bitter.. 😠

Bobbiepin - how on earth can she usually be great with a start like that?

Mutual friend of DH and I, I'd known him since I was a baby. His Mother died and at the time DH had been made redundant and we were struggling. He asked DH to help with his business whilst he dealt with his family and the funeral etc.
DH did about 2 weeks work for him and he never paid him a penny or even thanked him.

12 months later DH needed a print that this 'friend' could do on his printer for pennies. When I went to pick it up he charged me a tenner.

I cut him out after that.

@MerdedeBrexit I know, but she came around and loves me like a daughter. She can be very full on sometimes but DH manages her well. Compared to some MIL on here she's not too bad.

My ex-workmate when I said goodbye to everyone when I left for maternity leave. She said loudly "Oh my God you're massive!!". I just smiled sweetly but I wanted to say "Yes, I'm pregnant - what's your excuse?"

MatildaTheCat

That really winds me up. The amount of times couples have stood and watched me struggle to move THEIR heavy bags on the ward. One lady bought 11 bags with her. Ridiculous.

Got married well over 20 years ago when cameras still had real film and you printed the photos out. We couldn't afford a proper photographer so my friend agreed to take a few and get them done nicely as a wedding present, which she did. Not to worry we thought, DH's side of the family will be taking loads of snaps. MIL, BIL and two SILs. They all got several sets printed, and swapped them among one other - and never gave us any at all. The one that MIL had framed and put in her lounge was the Groom's family photo of their side of the family, minus one person. Me, the bride.

Gee, thanks.

Bobbiepin - I'm very glad for you that it works for you now and that your DH is a good un.

To be fair, I think that some of these aren’t really petty.

If you asked my ds it would be my DH and I simultaneously nicking chips off his plate when we were on holiday last year. DS was NOT amused and is still cross about it now! It was the prawn story above that made me think of it!

For me, there was the guy who tried to push in front of me in a cashpoint queue and told me I was a very aggressive young lady (translation : woman in early 20s should bow to his superior maleness) for saying no.

And quite recently, I was giving out finish tokens at a race (an actual race not a parkrun). A women approached the finish line and then veered off to the side and didn't cross the finish line, I thought she'd already finished and then just come in with a club-mate - people do that to support them but don't cross the line twice. 5 minutes later she came up wanting her finish token and I said no, because she'd not crossed the line. I still don't know why she didn't cross the line, but the race organisers put her in the results! Quite annoyed about being undermined like that.

still fuming ( though i wish i could STOP) at my so called friend who is a Christian, she dropped me after 20 years of friendship because of something ( not towards her) immoral i did. A real friend wouldn't do that

Hmmm....depends what it is. I would have trouble being friends with someone who continuously engaged in immoral behaviour ( ie lying, cheating, stealing), because if they are comfortable doing it, then eventually they'd do it to me.

As for my petty grudges..

Me ( circa a while ago, as a newly single parent): " it would be so nice if the school would have breakfast club, would make it so much easier to get to work on time "
Other mother in playground: " well, there's something wrong if you can't even give your child a piece of toast".

She's generally not a bad sort, but jesus I was mad. Still gets me a bit