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Original poster

Petty things you still can't forgive people for

503 replies

Milkbath · 26/07/2019 13:22

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

OP posts:
FlamedToACrisp · 26/07/2019 16:51

I had appendicitis and was in the children’s ward over Easter, which caused me great distress. It wasn’t so much the pain, but the fact that Mum and Dad brought my Easter eggs in and left them on my bedside table to cheer me up, and once they had gone, the nurses whisked them away without even asking, broke them up and made me share them with all the other children!

When I protested, they told me not to be so selfish. They then had the cheek to bring me ‘my share’ of my own eggs, all smashed up and spoiled.

I was furious – unlike most children, we so rarely had any sweets at all, and all the other children would still be able to eat their own Easter eggs when they got home.

Fifty years later, I still haven’t forgiven those horrible nurses.

VanGoghsDog · 26/07/2019 16:52

I won a bottle of champagne, with a big red bow on top, for being the best dancer at a supplier event many years ago, I was about 22.

My then bf nicked it a few weeks later as he was running a go-karting event and needed a prize.

I've never forgiven him!

I am not a good dancer but we were messing about and being silly so I think I got it for enthusiasm!

MerdedeBrexit · 26/07/2019 16:52

CruCru - I have a couple of things I can't let go of, but if I didn't pretend to myself I was being petty, I would have completely lost contact with my remaining family and a very close friend. No way would I share them here!

Boysey45 · 26/07/2019 16:52

I was 7 and it was my cousins wedding. He was a lot older than me obviously. We all went to the reception and my Mum and Dad were seated at table at the front and I was made to sit right at the back of the hall with some elderly ladies who I had never met before.

What a nasty horrid thing to do to a young child, they need to be sat with their parents.

PookieDo · 26/07/2019 16:53

My DM is the queen of petty and I can honestly not stand being around her most of the time. I spent all my time with her seething about her petty digs and petty behaviour. It’s never enough to make a thing out of, she always makes sure it’s just on the edge of petty so you would look hugely unreasonable if you said anything to her about it and claim all innocence

I did put a thread up on the weekend because her petty petty behaviour really upset me on the weekend on my birthday but people accused me of drip feeding/lying so I got it removed

KeepFuckingOff · 26/07/2019 16:53

When my lovely and wonderful grandad was dying at home my Nan would only let my older brother go in to say goodbye to him as “he’s the first boy grandchild” and apparently much more important than me. He died minutes later and I never got to say goodbye, still makes me cry when I think about it. I’ve never forgotten or forgiven her 20 years later.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 26/07/2019 16:58

One of my earliest memories is that whenever there was anything nice to eat for dinner, both my older brothers (over 10 years older than me) would sneeze or pretend to sneeze or cough all over my food so that I would be too disgusted to eat it and then promptly fight over it, forking it off my plate. This happened all the time, my parents never said a word to either of them. The whole family thought this was hilarious. Everytime! Oh yes and "presents" of matchboxes with insects in them. Also deemed as family entertainment. Still furious.

bebeboeuf · 26/07/2019 16:59

Pretty much most of the things SIL has done or said to me or about me in the last 3 years of knowing her

proudestofmums · 26/07/2019 17:00

When DS was 5 he came out of school one day crying his eyes out because the teacher had ticked him off for scribbling on a classmates t shirt. He was adamant he hadn’t done it and I knew it was out of character so we went round to the girl’s house - they were friends - and her mum asked her if it was DS who had done it and she said no, it was X. So I went straight back to school to ask, fuming, why the teacher hadn’t checked with the girl before jumping to conclusions. I had no satisfactory explanation or apology from her. 30 years have passed and it still winds me up,occasionally. NB X wrote DS a letter of apology.

CruCru · 26/07/2019 17:03

I’m not sure if this is petty or not.

I was told that when I came back from a secondment, I would be promoted. However, when the pay reviews came up, my promotion wasn’t on the letter - my boss got incredibly defensive and said it was the fault of X (who had since left), who had forgotten.

It meant that I was left off all the “official” lists of promotions (these were circulated globally and were looked at by everyone) and had to contact payroll to get them to sort it out (I ended up with the pay rise backdated by a few months once it was dealt with).

What annoyed me most was that my boss (when I emailed him to say I wasn’t on the list) joked that “I wanted to see my name in lights”. It’s a shame because promoting someone is expensive and this is one of the main things I remember about my last employer.

AguerosAngel · 26/07/2019 17:04

When DH and I started going out together (nearly 20 years ago now), MIL didn’t like me very much, thought I was stuck up, my family were posh (we definitely aren’t!).

Anyway we were going out for a meal for SIL’s birthday and we drove past a bar that DH and I had one of our first dates in and DH said “Ah Agueros, do you remember when you sat on my knee all night in that bar?”

And MIL, not very quietly, and not under her breath called me a slag! Angry

To be fair to DH, he stopped the car, tore her a new arsehole and then made her and FIL get out and walk the rest of the way!

I’ve never forgiven her but it cemented my knowledge that Id picked a good one with DH! Smile

dayswithaY · 26/07/2019 17:11

When my Mum lied to me and went clothes shopping instead of visiting me and my newborn. When my Dad claimed there was no room in the house for me and my children to stay for one night when I was desperate. It was just my parents living in a three bedroom house. Loads more but I should probably save it for the therapist, thanks Mum and Dad.

Withnailandaye · 26/07/2019 17:14

flamedtoacrisp

Really angry on your behalf right now Angry

Geraniumpink · 26/07/2019 17:17

My friend for telling me that my boyfriend was too good looking for me. I find that hard to forget. Still married to him 16 years later though!

thecatsarecrazy · 26/07/2019 17:21

My bil also announced the birth of my 2nd son on f.b I never said anything but it suprised me then when his twins were born him and his g.f didn't tell anyone until they were nearly a week old. Odd behaviour

phlebasconsidered · 26/07/2019 17:22

Other teachers who ask pointless "look at me" questions on twilight meetings after school because they want to be noticed by SLT when i'll have to pay extra childcare for their self-importance.

FlamedToACrisp · 26/07/2019 17:22

@Arrowfanatic
I had the gold shoe FIRST!! outrageous!

@Withnailandaye
Thank you x

NameChangerOfTheNorth · 26/07/2019 17:23

Still fuming ( though i wish i could STOP) at my so called friend who is a Christian, she dropped me after 20 years of friendship because of something ( not towards her) immoral i did. A real friend wouldn't do that
It's hard to judge without knowing what you did- I'm not saying you should share- but I would drop a friend, who, for example, was shoplifting, dealing drugs, mugging old ladies or a whole host of other things, some much pettier.

CheckingOutTheQuantocks · 26/07/2019 17:23

I went to a small village primary school where there were only about 15 children in each year. When I was about 6, I can remember some of the other girls setting up something called "The Blonde Club" which meant that only blonde girls were allowed to sit with them at dinner time or play with them during break. I was sort of dark blonde at the time, but when I tried to join in, the queen bee type of the group said "No, Quantocks, not you. You're not a proper blonde like us, your hair is dirty mouse brown". Fecking evil witch. We'd all darkened to brunettes by the time we left primary school anyway...

KipperCuddlingGrimbots · 26/07/2019 17:29

2 weeks after my mum died, my paternal GPs decided they were going to come to our house (me, DD and DFather) too 'see us.'

Convenient that my dad had paid the £££ PPV boxing for that night - he'd mentioned it in passing but definitely didn't invite them (they're not very nice people.)

To top it off, the bought my cousin (10), without telling us, and a bag. 'Oh you don't mind her staying do you? It'll be too late to take her home?' WHY DID YOU BRING HER? Adding insult to injury, she'd been off school the day before due to D&V - never mind the fact I had a toddler in the house.

AND - we bought fish and chips that night. They insisted they wanted none, they'd eaten at home, 'honestly, it's fine', Cousin won't eat it anyway..
Dad bought the food (enough for me and him) home, I got the plates out and as I started to dish up - GD took the plate I'd done for myself and said 'Oh we'll share this one'
So he took my dinner. My lovely dad said for me to share his but he shouldn't have had to!

All this 2 weeks after the sudden passing of my mum, whilst we were still in shock. Honestly, I should've gone nuclear.

NameChangerOfTheNorth · 26/07/2019 17:31

I was in primary school and had a really cool pencil. This girl decided she wanted it, stole it and said I was lying when I said it was mine. I spent the rest of the year watching for her to leave that damn pencil lying around but she never did.

Hope you and the pencil are happy, Sarah*.

(Yes, this was in 1995... and occasionally the injustice of it all still pisses me off!)
*Name changed because I realise Sarah doesn't need her name sullied by being exposed as a pencil thief.

Fnouffster77 · 26/07/2019 17:32

The woman who pushed me in the back when there was a till free in TK Maxx. Still makes me shudder.
Why would you touch a random stranger?

dustarr73 · 26/07/2019 17:33

Waiting on teh bus a few years ago.I had my 3 kids with me.2 in the double buggy.

Anyway bus comes,and a fella hopped on in front of me.I was first.Turns out he was running for local elections last year.And i didnt vote for him.So thereGrin.

I still mention it to dp when we see him.

lurkingfromhome · 26/07/2019 17:35

At my birthday party, the queen bee of the class sneaked into the living room before we all sat down to eat our sausages on sticks and swapped round all the party hats so that she got the gold princess crown and I got what was effectively a blue cardboard disc on a piece of elastic. Then she had the gall to sit at the head of the table like it was her bloody party, all smug in her crown.

We were 7. Still rankles 40-odd years later. My OWN birthday party FFS.

PatrickMerricksGoshawk · 26/07/2019 17:42

When I was about twelve, my 2 sisters and I applied to be part of something really fun. We went to audition, which was really just having photos taken and height measured, not anything based on ability. They got in and I didn’t.

I have never really forgiven:
a) my sisters
b) the people running the thing, who thought it was OK to choose 2 out of 3 siblings to be a part of this once in a lifetime thing
c) my mum, for breaking the news to me in the car after collecting me from my music lesson, with my sisters sitting smugly in the back of the car.

I only bring it up once a year or so Grin