Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petty things you still can't forgive people for

503 replies

Milkbath · 26/07/2019 13:22

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

OP posts:
FiveFarthings · 14/08/2019 04:39

*had a cat of my own

Tp93 · 14/08/2019 06:02

Mil taking it upon herself to come by before my daughter's first birthday to "help" even though we told her we will be alright and don't need help then she went on to do the balloon garland and ruined it so all the balloons fell off 😭 definitely really petty and she was just trying to help but a year on I still can't get over it lol. My photos look horrible with balloons missing 🤣

Shiraznowplease · 14/08/2019 06:18

The one that sticks in my mind is when I was pregnant with ds, had severe hyperemesis and was feeling pretty crap. Mil does sil washing/ironing and dh asked mil if she could iron some of his shirts as he is crap at it and had some important meetings. Mil said no Shiraz has her own mum, I still remember how annoyed I was and I often think years later of it and as she gets older that when she is really old and needs help she will be in a home before her feet touches the ground, as she has her own daughter to help (who I know won’t)

Shiraznowplease · 14/08/2019 06:21

Oh and another mil one ,,,, no children wedding but told her friend they could bring their 3 year old grandchild causing problems with my friends who had all been told no. Feeding my ebf son a bottle of milk as it was good for them?!

saffy1234 · 14/08/2019 06:39

@MatildaTheCat ha,i know how you feel x

idhavenoluckifitwasntforbadluc · 14/08/2019 06:53

My bil wife got my daughter 'it's a boy' card. Pretty sure that was deliberate!

She also didn't visit my son when born, blanked him at my daughters birthday party and then proceeded to be my friend again when we visited their new baby.

To be fair, my list goes on of petty things she's done.

Safe to say I no longer speak to this person.

NomDeQwerty · 14/08/2019 07:06

1980s. Very deep snow. I worked as a Saturday girl in M&S on foods. My DDad walked me into work about half a mile away - literally I had to step into his bootsteps. The manager didn't make it in but there were enough of us locals to have opened foods and served the queue in an orderly fashion so people had the basics.
Over the phone he told the caretaker to turn the customers away and get us to throw out all the food that came out of date that day. He was to make sure we didn't take any of it home.
So much food was wasted. Bastards both of them. It still rankles.

HeffaLump1 · 14/08/2019 10:11

DN and his wife having all of the cousins on both sides as bridesmaids...apart from my dds. Still rankles 5 years later

yellowallpaper · 14/08/2019 11:16

When I had DS it was a traumatic birth (pre eclampsia, low birth weight, PICU) and I was mentally and physically exhausted. They then let DS come back to me and he cried non stop (continued for 3 months), wouldn't feed, and wouldn't sleep.

Then an official from the Registry office came round to the labour to register births and i went to register Ds. She asked me endless questions and in my fuddled state I couldn't even remember my marriage date and felt like a rabbit in the headlights. She talked to me with such contempt I went back to my bed and sobbed for hours. I will never forget the humiliation I felt at her treatment and deeply regret I didn't have the guts to tell her to fuck off but I was mentally on the floor.

Sallycinnamum · 14/08/2019 11:42

Years ago I worked in the public sector and after yet another horrific restructure we all had to reapply for our jobs. By this point I was very unwell with work related stress and I absolutely loathed and detested the consultant they'd brought into oversee the restructure.

During the interview for the job I'd done very competently for two years and won an industry award for he deliberately tripped me up aided and abetted by HR. I wish I'd had the strength to say 'that's it I'm not participating in this charade anymore' and walked out.

It was the worst working environment I've ever experienced and even though I'm in a great job now i still hate that consultant with an absolute passion. For years I dreamt about bumping into him and punching him in the face!

I later found out they were determined to get rid of me and another colleague so they could promote my assistant who happened to be the Chief Execs nephew. It still rankles years later.

Eustasiavye · 14/08/2019 16:09

I still think about how mil and fil insisted on visiting the day I came out of hospital with ds. I had had a very traumatic birth and wasn’t feeling up to visitors. They had already seen ds in hospital. I only reluctantly agreed to them visiting because they promised they would only stay for an hour.
They stayed all day. Sat on their arse whilst dh brought drinks. Stayed so long that we ended up cooking for them, whilst they still dat on their arses.
They made no attempt to leave even when dh told them we were tired and I needed to rest.
It was so bad I refused to have any visitors point blank when ds2 was born.

Rememberallball · 15/08/2019 08:40

When we got married we got the registrar to announce that we were requesting no photographs from the ceremony be put on social media until we had a chance to choose a few ourselves and post them up. Whole of both families knew we were planning this and wanted our reception guests to see us ‘in person’ before seeing it online.

DSS partner was posting photos all over social media - before we even left the registry office!! And then, when they were expecting a baby, she posted up that, if she found anyone posting on SM before she did, she would go round their house and shit on their floor!!

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 15/08/2019 16:24

When we got married we wanted a lot of candid shots rather than posed so used a husband and wife team, the wife used to go round doing the candid shots when people didn't realise.

I suddenly realised I hadn't seen either of them in a while on the day but thought nothing of it.

When we got to view the photos online, my BIL had taken it upon himself to have a personal family photo shoot in front of a nearby local landmark which was near our reception venue!! Both photographers were obviously down there with them when we viewed the photos.

To add insult to injury, the only photo my MIL has up from our wedding is BIL, SIL and my niece and nephew in all their wedding finery (which we had also paid for as they were all part of the wedding party!)

Still pisses me off and we've been married 10 years in September!!

Areyoufree · 15/08/2019 16:31

Mine is the person in the thread who gave out The Avengers: Endgame spoiler, WHEN I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET! And I don't care that it has been out for ages - I don't get a chance to go to the cinema. Have been waiting for it to be released on demand.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/08/2019 16:31

That was utterly unprofessional of your photographers, @PaddingtonBearHardStare - and total cf-from your in-laws - I don’t blame you for still being cross!

PerfectPear · 16/08/2019 11:25

Mine is when my soon to be step MIL said how dare I plan to go part time at work when I have kids.
I'd been with partner 6 months at that point but knew it was serious and was just discussing what I'd like to do in future. I've wanted kids ever since I can remember and would love to be a sahm but don't want to put that pressure on my partner so happy to go part time. Been trying 16 months now with no luck. That comment still annoys me to this day! I do think she's jealous as she never had kids of her own. But she does work part time with her husband supporting her so I don't get it.

Toothproblems · 16/08/2019 14:57

Dance show 11 years ago. İ had done my partial solo amazingly, in my opinion Wink, had worried so much about it. İ had to run off as someone else ran on.she was in the wrong wing and she ran straight into me and i went flying. İ was so embarrassed and she just carried on i had to crawl off of stage. This was the performance they were recording to sell on dvd/video. İt is now forever recorded in many many homes Blush

Toothproblems · 16/08/2019 14:58

Actually more like 13/14 years ago

orangeshoebox · 16/08/2019 15:00

my sister
for cutting off my favorite barbie's hair - 35 years ago.

Toothproblems · 16/08/2019 15:18

Oh just thought of 2 more. When i was in primary school i was really bullied by this one girl. My mum always got her mum to take me to school. The girl always wanted me to go to hers for playdates and my mum always accepted even though she knew this girl quite literally mentally tortured me because she couldn't be bothered to look after me...

Same girl different story. İ was made the angel Gabriel in the school nativity ibwas so happy after all the bullying. The local news paper was coming to take a photo of us in our costumes. Unfortunately i got the chicken pox. This girl got to stand in my place in my costume and had her photo and name in the paper. Then teased me about it until we left primary.

Toothproblems · 16/08/2019 15:20

Same nativity. We were told 2 minutes before going on stage to walk round 1 extra time and the 3 wise men were to follow me. İt was normally 2. She just changed it to 3 so I go to do the third circle and they didn't follow me just stopped and watchdd. İ burst into to tears because it looks like i made a mistake.

İ don't have muchuck with performances. İ will never forgive that teacher for telling 4 year olds about this change and expecting them to remembr when they were nervous already.

ASimpleLampoon · 16/08/2019 15:27

DH works in a Coffee chain and there is a sandwich I really like he sometimes brings home for me. I really enjoy it with a coffee and feel really happy and look forward to having them for breakfast or lunch.

We went on a day trip one half term and he had bought the sandwich for me to go with our picnic. But he ate one half of it and I was really looking forward to all of it.

I still bring it up about once a week.

Pizzachicken · 16/08/2019 15:52

When I was pregnant with my first we told MIL at around six weeks on the basis that it was a secret until after the first scan. She told everyone in the local pub that she "might be becoming a grandma soon"

DH is an only child so everyone knew it was me that was pregnant.

I've never really forgiven her for that. FIL in his defence was mortified that she'd told all these people and told her she'd overstepped the line.

Rainbowknickers · 16/08/2019 15:55

My fellas dad said he could have a bmx bike as a kid
Then changed his mind saying they where too dangerous (he had a point-my brother got one and broke all his limbs one after the other over around 18 months)
Honest to god my bloke is still as sore about it as he was the day he was told he wasn’t getting it

40 years later it gets brought up at least once a week...

Mine is when I was born my diy phobic dad found out he’d had a girl (me) he said he’d make me a dolls house-still waiting 41 years later
(Both my girls got one and never bothered with them)

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/08/2019 16:20

When I was a child, my mum had a set of playing cards that had a picture of a ballerina on the back. They were very special, and I was only allowed to play with them very occasionally - I absolutely loved them.

One day we were at a jumble sale at the village hall, and I saw pack of cards just like mum’s - I could have bought them, but I thought she might be cross. When we got home, I told mum and dad about the cards and my mum said they were her pack - she had donated them.

I mourned that pack of cards - I know it is petty, but I loved them so much, and mum knew it, but just gave them away.