AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

Look at all the 🦊 I give.

dArtagnansCrumpet

Sorry if you don’t want any advice but if you do I’d say based on experience/

• do gentle but regular exercise ie 20-30 mins walking, cycling or swimming a day. Walking is particularly low hassle.
• generally cutting down is hard- cut out a small number of the worst foods and stick with it. Introduce just one day a week when you only eat healthy food
• seek advice on some cooler but flattering clothes

Then points 1 and 2 you can build up gently so that before you know it you are getting fitter and eating less shit. The aim is to gently lose weight without a fad diet or overdoing exercise as that is sustainable in the long term and easier mentally and physically

@shortstuff99 I have no idea how you can give that supportive advice about gentle exercise when further up the thread you were outright mocking another poster for even considering that running a 10k could be considered fit...

It doesn't add up and it comes across as targeting and bullying.

Butters, I suggest you hide the thread

@lookdontteuch

I agree. It's so crass. Same poster was laughing at me (I think, she never clarified what her point actually was) because I cycle 10 miles a day but couldn't do a triathlon. I am disabled and pretty pleased with my mobility/body. It's a damn weird stance to laugh at anyone below triathlon level, that's for sure

@LookDon’tTouch, exactly the same thing occurred to me, I’m glad someone else noticed.

@shortstuff99 I have no idea how you can give that supportive advice about gentle exercise when further up the thread you were outright mocking another poster for even considering that running a 10k could be considered fit...

No, you’ve completely misrepresented what I said

The butter lady was saying despite her being fat she is healthy because she is ‘very fit’. Her proofpoint of being ‘very fit’ was running a 10k which I pointed out is not considered to be ‘very fit’ with people who are fit. I am trying to dispel a damaging statement put out by this poster that fat is healthy as I have a partner who works I. The NHS and sees all day, every day, the terrible impact of obesity on the public.

What a shame you’d rather take a cheap shot at me for trying to help someone else, than contribute something worth reading yourself.

Pricedrop I agree. It's so crass. Same poster was laughing at me (I think, she never clarified what her point actually was) because I cycle 10 miles a day but couldn't do a triathlon

I certainly was not and have no idea how you got that from my lighthearted suggestion that you team up with the Butter person. I was only implying that you’d have a lot of fun together, for which I was rewarded with a lewd and vile comment from the butter lady