AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

I respect smokers, cancer sufferers, fat people, disable people, blind people, deaf people and so on equally. You don't even know if I am one of those people.

Just don't go on about being healthy if you are fat. You aren't.

Did you even read the thread about the DoC weight? It was dreadful.

And how the heck isn't it the same as fat shaming?

All forms of body shaming are unacceptable. But until thin people are paid less, hired less, or systemically harmed and discriminated against for being thin then no, it’s it the same as fat shaming.

That should say no, skinny shaming is NOT the same as fat shaming

Exactly!!!

You absolutely know that it is as bad. Don't justify thin shaming.

I'm going to leave this thread now as it would seem that it's now not okay to say fat is unhealthy and that it is okay to say thin shaming is not as bad as fat shaming.

You better go tell my Doctors then!

There is no justification for thin-shaming. It’s horrible and people should wind their necks in.

Is there systemic anti-thin bias in our society? No.

Fat can be healthy and unhealthy
No, fat is unhealthy as it causes or at least increases likelihood of a large number of health complications. Fat can never, ever be healthy.

You better go tell my Doctors then!

If they are telling you that as a fat person, you are healthy, then they likely have given up trying to tell you something that you refuse to hear and just want you to leave so they can help a sensible person with basic common sense who may listen to their advice and years of training and experience

I do agree that fat isn’t healthy, tess holiday is in my eyes very unhealthy. Yet she has thousands of fans that are adamant that she is healthy.

Hahaha wow you are a really hateful person. If it makes you feel better to form that narrative then go on ahead 😂 all the doctors and nurses are wrong but YOU must be correct 😂

All Doctors and nurses think fat is healthy?
Sorry you’re completely deluded

All of MY doctors and nurses are wrong.

None of them have said fat is healthy. But I as a fat woman am healthy. Perfect blood pressure. Strong heart and organs. Physically very fit. But yeah sure I guess it must all be some mistake

Who says the NHS has a shortage of staff - have they tried looking on MN? Lots of medical professionals on here 😂

I grew up in an African country. I left my country of birth at 22, while being tall and slim. I grew up along big family members who would walk miles and work hard. I never once thought them to be unhealthy, just strong. Fast forward years later in UK, I'm slightly bigger, drive everywhere etc. I know I'm unfit but if I stand next to my cousin from home, my cousin would be judged more, yet she's by far stronger and fitter than slim me

I as a fat woman am healthy. Perfect blood pressure. Strong heart and organs. Physically very fit

This is just mental. You have no idea what the future holds. Just because you do t have heart disease or diabetes now doesn’t mean you won’t get them. Not all smokers develop lung cancer right away.

Health is not measured by blood pressure. How was the strength of your organs measured. Very fit? How do you quantify that. Very few fat people are ‘very fit’ it’s a bit of an oxymoron. Please advise.

Yes I would apply that to smokers. Why would you be disrespectful to someone who did?

Glad to hear it Butters83 , I'm not disrespectful to smokers but I would say we are very much in the minority when you see the language used to and about smokers.

1 in 2 people will now get cancer. We will all die. Lifestyle choices as well as genetics will play a part in your health as you get older. No one knows what the future holds.

I am physically fit because I can run 10k, and can dead lift 100kg. I walk around 15k steps a day. I meditate and do Pilates. I do not drink alcohol. Every blood test I have ever had done has been perfect. I had a full bupa health check last year. Absolute top notch.
No one knows what the future holds. I love my body and everything it does for me. I doubt you feel the same.
And again - even if I was a couch potato who wasn’t healthy - it still is not your business and does not detract from my beauty.

I am physically fit because I can run 10k

You said ‘very fit’ before, running a 10k is not ‘very fit’, anyone could do this with a few weeks of training. Very fit is a sub 3:30 marathon

No one knows what the future holds.

That isn’t an excuse to be fat. You could always improve your chances by being healthy

I love my body and everything it does for me. I doubt you feel the same.

You don’t come across that way you seem very needy for others to accept you’re happy it’s not a usual trait of people who are happy. And you’re right I don’t love my body because I need to lose a stone at the moment to get to where I need to be and my acceptance of this is motivating. If I just accepted it then it would soon be 2 stone etc.

the whole fat positivity, movement not body positivity that has ironically been hijacked by straight sized influencers, as being for everyone it isn't, it was a safe space provided for marginalised bodies by plus size woc,

I couldn’t give a flying hoot what you, a stranger, thinks of me.
I just like telling off horrid bitter mums who try and make other people feel bad because of the size or their bottoms

Also lol “running 10k doesn’t make you fit”

So not only are you a medical expert you are also a fitness expert 😂😂😂

CBA discussing this with you anymore - I pity you. Truly. I hope you find happiness in yourself because I have seen someone pulling at straws before but you take the cake.
Mmmmm cake

LOL.

Stop appropriating the language used to describe the struggles of those born with inherent, immutable characteristics to justify 'fat shaming'.

A black person cannot become white. A homosexual person cannot become straight. A fat person CAN become slim.

There is no such thing as fat shaming, there is only fat consequence.

As someone who is 'naturally' thin I'm often told my legs look like sticks, and other comments such as 'you're too thin' from workmates.

Yet if I commented on why my colleague is overweight isn't the same?

Madness.

Size 16-18 is fat, end of. Those justifying such a weight as average are fat.