AIBU to say that big is NOT beautiful!

[SummerSummerSummer]

So, I'm not expecting the MN community to take this statement well (or who knows), but I have come to the conclusion that the whole 'Big is Beautiful' stuff is complete nonsense! Big (I'm talking overweight here) is unhealthy, unattractive, and normal healthy weight is what we should all aim for.

Pre-DC, ten years ago, I was of normal weight, attractive and full of energy. I would cycle to work (in London), go running, rollerblading and do yoga classes. Whatever clothes I wanted to wear, I did with no problems. Everything looked great.

Children happened and the sleep deprivation, lack of me-time and the general exhaustion made me seek comfort in food and I gained a lot of weight. I would eat chocolate secretly behind my family's back to reward myself for something or to celebrate a moment or whatever reason really.

A few days ago I saw pictures taken of me on a family holiday and I can't fake it anymore. I look awful! My belly looks like I'm 6 months pregnant, my thighs are full of cellulite and my bum is enormous (however fashionable it might be at the moment). And I don't look good either. I hate getting into a swimming costume for everyone to see me, I cannot find any nice clothes to fit me and I'm so unfit!

It's easier to tell yourself in the winter that you're not really that big when you can wrap yourself in big jumpers, coats and scarves. You can do your hair and make up and kind of look ok. But in this heat there's no hiding from it, and no amount of make up or time spent on hair can fake you a healthy looking figure. And I hate the way I have to pull my t-shirts down over my belly instead of tucking them in like it's fashionable at the moment! And any leggings, tights or bottoms with elasticated waist always roll under my belly rather than stay up where they're supposed to be! Let alone the fact that this is now my preferred wardrobe due to jeans and smarter trousers feeling really uncomfortable! And tops! Spagetti top is a no, sleeveless top is a no, t-shirt is a maybe if it's the loose kind because of big wobbly arms!

So the reasons I'm saying big is not beautiful are:

1. Being overweight is unhealthy and puts you in risk of all kinds of illnesses (such as diabetes which I worry about)
2. You are constantly fixated on food and treats. What you are going to eat next, when can you eat it, how can you hide it from everyone else etc..

3.Nothing fits you nicely. You can not participate in the fashion scene.

1. You get out of breath so easily. Even going upstairs becomes a nuisance let alone having a game of football or tag with your children!
2. Telling lies to yourself is not healthy for you mentally. Healthy body, healthy mind.
3. Not wanting to appear in photographs. Editing yourself out of family photos which is super sad.

Shortstuff99

It’s hardly the pinnacle of human achievement.

Nah, in the grand scheme of things it probably isnt. But its absolutely more than what most people, slim or otherwise, can do.

Do you just feel bad that now i'm somehow taking away some running achievements from you because I can run 10k while fat? Because it sure sounds like it. So no instead you gleefully announce that now it must be my joints that suffer.

It takes a very sick minded individual to take pleasure out of the idea of someone enjoying an active lifestyle and tell them that their joints will suffer.

But as I am fast learning, I could tell you that I swam 1000 lengths a day and you would probably say I am somehow ruining my body.

You just dont like the idea that people are living fat and happy lives.

Clothes sizes are utterly random

No they are not. There may be a degree of inconsistency but 16 And 18 are for large people

www.si.com/swimsuit/model/robyn-lawley/2017/photos#2

This is Robyn Lawley. She's a size 16 plus-size model. BMI in the normal range.

If this is what being fat looks like, then I'm a heffalump.

And similarly to @butters83, I cycle 10 miles a day

If that woman is a size 16, she must be about 8ft tall!!!

Also, why do people use models who are very obviously the exception to the rule, to prove a rule?

The vast vast majority of people who are a UK dress size 16 will be at least overweight. That's not judging anyone, that is just fact.

Why are some people so invested in trying to make out that facts like that are incorrect?

I have a problem with the fact Robyn Lawley is considered plus size. She is actually a UK 12 but she is 6ft 2!

I thinking would be better to accept that everyone has their own perspective and experience around weight and size.

I'm overweight, not because I spend my time obsessing about food buy because my thyroid gland is completely knackered.

I hate being the size I am now and I am dealing with it as best I can because I'm determined to get on top of before the menopause fucks my body up even more, so I do understand where you're coming from it the sweeping generalisations 're cause and effect are deeply unhelpful and offensive.

Eaudear because when people make sweeping statements about health and appearance its nice to remind them that they are wrong.

Because people aren't saying that. They're saying that all size 16s are overweight. You only have to read the previous page to find an example.

She's only 2 inches taller than I am - hardly record breaking.

Just looked up Robyn Lawley - she is 6ft 2 (!) and says that she is a UK size 14-16.

1% of women in the US are taller than 6ft.

I think it's still OK to make 'sweeping statements' tbh.

This is Robyn Lawley. She's a size 16 plus-size model. BMI in the normal range

Pointless quoting dress sizes without height. Robyn Lawley is nearly 6'3" and a UK size 12.

Not that surprising that her BMI is in the normal range.

@Shortstuff99 I helpfully illustrated exactly how dress sizes are random, in response to another post saying exactly the same thing. Why must you argue when people provide evidence for what they’re saying? You could have an argument in an empty room.

And similarly to @butters83, I cycle 10 miles a day

If only another poster swims, the three of you could get together and split a triathlon 3 ways! I’m sure it would be a lot of fun!

Shortstuff99 it would be LOADS of fun actually! And then we would all probably go to the pub while you went home to have a cry masturbation session.

Showing your true colours there I’m afraid. I’m only concerned that you don’t drop dead soon of a heart attack, whilst holding a healthy Greggs sausage roll. I don’t know why I bother.

Why must you argue when people provide evidence for what they’re saying?

I fear you have a lower evidential threshold than would be acceptable in a court of law. Do you think Kate Moss goes into New Look and can only just squeeze into a 18 in some items? No she does not. So your argument is garbage and your small data set anecdotal evidence has not been accepted.

Shortstuff99 you dont give two frigs about my health, dont bother pretending?

You are very free NOT to bother.

I would rather die clutching a delicious Greggs than end up a sad sack picking on strangers health on the internet.

@Butters83 - of course you would. Doesn't surprise me at all.

LaVieilleHarpie I am glad my fat activism and lust for pastries is transparent! Some mums need a crayon drawing to understand.....

"I’m only concerned that you don’t drop dead soon of a heart attack, whilst holding a healthy Greggs sausage roll. I don’t know why I bother."

Lol you couldn't care less. Don't patronise us by pretending otherwise.

snort Fat. Activism.

Stay fat if you want, but encouraging people to eat themselves to death is fucking harmful. Why do you do it, eh? You're a crab in a bucket.

LaVieilleHarpie Lol fat activism isnt telling people to gain weight. Get in the bin !

You're actively encouraging people not to lose weight. Crab. In. A. Bucket.

"You're actively encouraging people not to lose weight. Crab. In. A. Bucket."

How?

Also it's kind of amusing to see how you're losing your shit when your fatlogic gets rebuked. I'm just waiting for the inevitable Virgie Tovar-esque screech.