To give DP a medal for putting up with me not opening the windows in this heat...

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Because of crippling arachnophobia? 😭

We are not in spider season are we!

you need some of the nets for windows like they have in th US so air can get in but bugs can't

Do folk really think that you can go to the doctors and be miraculously cured of irrational phobias

has anyone said that? Suggestions have been made about exposure therapy, a course at the zoo and CBT. Of course GPs don't have miracle cures. But they can send you in the right direction of places to get help.

My daughter is bug phobic and we’ve had midge roller screens made for most of our windows , they are excellent and it has made quite a difference to our house , we got them from Newblinds - not particularly cheap but they look really good .

I bought my son some insect mesh from Amazon. It just sticks on using sticky Velcro. He is now much happier to have his window open at night.

OP how can you have not thought that your fear of spiders was a big deal when you haven't been in one of the rooms in your house for 5 years (unless you were joking about that bit!). But even having to change your bedrooms because of a spider is really strange. Do you think everyone who is scared of spiders does that? What happens if you find one in every room, would you have to move?

I absolutely hate wasps and keep as far away from them as possible, but there is no way they would turf me out of my bedroom.

Do folk really think that you can go to the doctors and be miraculously cured of irrational phobias? actually yes. Given that there are actual posters on this thread who have been on courses to help them deal with their phobia, it is clear that it is possible. The issue here is that the OP hasn’t even tried seeking help and is instead expecting others to adjust their own lives to pander to her phobia.

A lot of people don’t like spiders and would prefer other people deal with them to remove them from the house etc. But a crippling phobia to the extent that the OP’s partner can’t have the windows open and that there is a room in her house she hasn’t been into for years is not normal and needs addressing. It’s not ignorant to suggest that.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery That house remained empty for a year!

(She also moved in with me for weeks when she thought she had mice in another house!)

Just keep a Hoover handy? Or invest in a an air con unit so your husband doesn't have to suffer..

I had this level of arachnophobia OP, up until really recently.

I can't quite explain how it happened but basically I looked at fuckloads of pictures of them, up close in detail so they looked like proper animals instead of, you know, how they look!

I was able to start catching them myself, small ones, spindley ones and then even big fuckers and gradually I've desensitised myself.

I think it started with those pictures of their furry paws that looked cute. I realise how mad this sounds btw!

Yes, people can be referred (or pay for themselves) for exposure treatment for phobias. And yes, it works.

In my experience, it's people with, or about to have, children that have the sense to take that big step to address their phobia. You really can't have children's lives restricted by their mother's fears, and/or pass that phobia on. The people I know who took this step all had excellent results from gradual exposure therapy.

You should keep the windows closed while it is hotter outside than in. Then if it cools off at night open the windows so you can to let in the cool air (don't get burgled though). Re the spiders, like most people I don't think they come in through the window!

Jesus eternal there are some really lovely caring people on here. If you had severe agoraphobia would you say oh stop being so pathetic and get out that door into the fresh air you pathetic waste of space. Please fuck off!!!
I'm spider phobic too and never have the windows open. I have a fan on but living alone I have to deal with them myself. My cat eats the ones on the floor. My gp doesn't have time to deal with phobias other than to dish out drugs I don't want.

PS I just bought some magnetic window nets for the bedroom OP. They are really good and nothing can get in see amazon.

KinkyFink they really do have cute paws don't they 😆

For anyone interested in the zoo course, I just found an article by a journalist who went on the same day I did. It talks you through the entire day so you can see what actually involved. (I censored the only spider pic so it's safe!)

Don't know why I've even read this thread.
I'm exactly the same!

@madcatladyforever Thank you for your lovely reply. Some people are lucky to not have phobias, so don't understand them.

That's amazing @KinkyFink - I've a friend who plugs her taps and plugholes every night with tissue as she so petrified. I should tell her.

OP, I had a phobia of snakes. I couldn't even look at a picture of them, never mind go anywhere near the reptile house in a zoo.

I had 1 session of NLP (neurolinguistic programming.....what Paul McKenna does!) and it worked a treat. I still don't like them but I can look at a picture of them, go to a reptile house. Haven't held one, though!!

I have been given exercises to practice if I feel a wobble but in truth I haven't needed to do any.

Please please give it a go. My phobia was ruining my life. I was policing what my daughter watched on TV in case they came on. That's no way to live.

GetMeOffThisCycle well you know, I find spiders nice and endearing in a way; they kill things I really hate like flies. But even I would have freaked out about the shoe incident. I once trod on a big house spider in bare feet - it blended perfectly with our bathroom floor. That wasn't pleasant.

I think they respond to water, and the moon. At full moon there always seems to be more activity, and if it's humid.

I hope you do get over your phobia; they are good creatures.

The spiders are already in the house. They are nocturnal. When you are asleep that are not.

Could you get a large mosquito net to drape over the bed. That’s what I may do.

We have been free of them for a few years because of the presence of cellar spiders but the house spiders are now in control again.

Basically like your body your house is not actually yours. It is a city teeming with alien life forms. And without them you would be well and truly screwed.

Well done @Lellochip!!!

OP, I believe this is the course your friend did-

www.zsl.org/experiences/friendly-spider-programme

The spider holding part is optional- you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

But I have to agree with PP, the fact that you haven’t gone into a room in your house since you saw a spider in there 5 years ago is fucking ridiculous extreme. You really need to find a way to get a handle on this.

So the NHS will pay for folk to do these courses? Or everyone can afford these courses, even if their phobias will allow them?

No