To give DP a medal for putting up with me not opening the windows in this heat...

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Because of crippling arachnophobia? 😭

Spider phobia is one of the easiest phobias to cure. Just make an appointment with a reputable hypnotherapist.

If spiders one through open windows where th the high ones that arrive later I the year come from.Some spiders only live indoors Inthe UK.

@mawof3soontobe Once I was walking to work and felt a small stone by my toe in my pointed heels.

I undid the ankle strap and took it off to empty it and this fuck-off huge brown hairy spider fell out. I nearly had a heart attack.

If someone offered me a million quid to put that shoe on with a spider on it, I'd tell them to swivel. But there's me, walking to work with the eight legged freak hitching a ride by my big toe.

I always check shoes since before putting them on.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery I've actually done the London Zoo course and thought it was amazing. I wasn't as phobic as you but the friends I did it with and many of the other people in the day were, and all but 1 managed to catch a spider by the end of the day.

You're absolutely not forced to do anything you don't want to, you don't even see so much as a picture of one till the end bit of the day. I think at the very least it would probably take you from phobia to 'ugh, not keen' but it could be life-changing if you're coping with this constant fear. I actually find them kinda interesting now, enjoy finding them!

Yes there's exposure, but that means it is quick, problem potentially solved in a few hours?

How do they work with pet dogs @CrazyCatLady159?

OP if it makes you feel better, my DP went to work last night and wondered why one of the communal areas (over 80 residents living there) was deserted. Turns out there was a huge spider in the room.

He hates spiders, so left it for the day manager, who said he would make the lady manager do it today... hes gone back to work tonight, and the spider is still in situ and no one will go near it!

Youre not alone!!

There is this wonderful invention called a window screen.

Thanks @Lellochip I will look into it. More leaning towards CBT as the thought of building up to holding a spider scares me too much.

No OP, generally people have fears not phobias, so although a fear of spiders is generally quite common, severe, crippling phobia is not.

The problem is that people label every fear as a phobia these days which means that people with genuine phobias think that it’s so common that they need do nothing about it. But actually having a phobia so severe that you are expecting others to change their lifestyles to accommodate it and refusing to go into rooms etc is not that common and is extremely unhealthy both for the person experiencing it and for those around them.

If you have children they may not have a phobia and there’s a chance they could come running in with a spider to show you one day for instance. And you’ll have to deal with that, because it would be grossly unfair to expect a small child to be accommodating of your phobia. In fact it’s unreasonable and I would even say controlling to expect your partner to adjust his own needs because of your phobia.

It’s one thing to not like spiders and not want to pick them up/to want someone else to get rid of them. Refusing to go into rooms or have windows is on quite another level and isn’t common at all.

I asked sellers how spidery the house was when I was buying. Like they'd reply honestly!

My seller actually used the words "and this room is the spider cellar" when showing me round 😱 - nearly lost the sale with that joke lol

Thank you @BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil - Your poor DP.

It's daddy long legs I hate,I used to think they would crawl over me and get tangled in my hair.

I'm with you OP. I'm actually ok with little spiders, I can squash them in a bunch of tissues (sorry spiderfans, but I leave them be outdoors, but those that come in my house need to die, so they don't go back and tell their spidey-friends I'm a soft touch), BUT any time I have ever left a window open mid-evening, I have ALWAYS found a ginormous one in the room that night. Every time. So windows stay closed now, except for an hour or so in the mornings, which doesn't seem to be prime spider time.

OK I'm not going to mock you but you do need to get help. You can't spend the next 40 years like this. It must be a real pain for everyone around you as well.

Look at the time it was in your shoe. Did you die?.. Of course not. Spiders in this country can't kill you. Or hurt you.

Im not a fan of them. I remove them from the house when I see them, however since I dotted conkers around the corners of the room and on the window sills a couple of years ago, we really haven't had any spiders in the house since.

@GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery The whole first bit isn't even in the zoo so you could bail if you absolutely needed to but I promise no one did! We all walked across to the bug house complaining that nothing had changed, why did they expect us to suddenly cope with spiders now etc... And then we did 🤨 I think the group support makes a massive difference.

The therapist did talk about how common it was for people to avoid treatment because they were scared that it might actually work, and then they wouldn't have their fear to 'protect' them anymore. It all makes a lot of sense when you're there. It's well worth looking into, even if you decide it's not for you

Exactly @TheBrilloPad The difference is I won't kill them or let anyone kill them, I am petrified of them, but it's not their fault they are scary bastards and I respect all forms of life, even spiders!

Hence that massive bastard who claimed squatters rights in my old bedroom.

I'm with you, OP! Feel exactly the same! ☹️

Thank you @Lellochip will look into it.

If only my brain was that rational @CrispbuttyNo1😂

A mate of mine had this phopia and went for treatment and now he keeps a couple of those bloody great Tarantula's!.

He even takes them and lets then wander around and picks them up by hand so it can be done!

You've my sympathy @ThunderR0ad78

Oh and I massively strict about leaving doors windows open etc. One hot afternoon my cleaner left my bedroom window open - spotted the minute o pulled in to drive. Sent my DH in to house while I waited in the car - he found 4 massive ones on the stairs! It's not a coincidence - I'm convinced this is a preferred entry route!!!

Dreading spider season!!! 😩

Do folk really think that you can go to the doctors and be miraculously cured of irrational phobias? Do these same doctors cure complete ignorance also?

@GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery pretty certain that dogs are fine too .... I'll post the link below so you can have a look

[2019 UPGRADED]Ultrasonic Pest Repeller, Indoor Electronic Fly Repellent Plug in Pest Control for Cockroaches, Mice,Ants, Mosquitoes,Ultrasonic Rodent Repellent 100% Harmless to Pets and Human(2 Pack) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07GSMNHVQ/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_UN4nDbJKVKSGQ

These ones are fine for dogs too - there are lots on amazon; check out the reviews before you buy though :-)

Oh fuck @ThunderR0ad78 I really feel for you. Sounds so similar to my level of fear.

@CrazyCatLady159 thank you so much.

I wish it was so easy @Macca84, I'd be in a cooler house for a start!