To give DP a medal for putting up with me not opening the windows in this heat...

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Because of crippling arachnophobia? 😭

For me, it's a fear of moths and flies. I have to leave the windows closed when we turn the lights on. It's something I've done since I was little. Don't mind spiders so much.

Could you get some fine mesh to put over your windows so that you can have them open but nothing can get in.

Wait what? So you never ever have the windows open? OP you really need to be seeking some actual professional help - it is available and out there.

I’m with you OP my partner sweats every single night without complaint because I’m scared of spiders!

The bluebottles have been doing my fucking head in, with all their buzzing. I'm like a fatso ninja with my fly swatter. Spiders are safe here!

Spiders don't come in through windows.
They generally like to come indoors when it is raining, not when it is hot.

You do need to get some help for your phobia as it is clearly causing you problems and affecting your dp.
In the meantime a good air cooling fan may help.

I sincerely hope that none of the posters on here with these apparently crippling phobias of the surrounding areas they live in have children.

And how long before this thread is deleted because it’s seen as being “triggering”

Who's pissed on your chips @Lllot5. Phobias are real. I'm so happy your life is so perfect and not blighted by dear and anxiety. 👍🏻

I had to make a new bedroom in my other double room when DP started to stay over. I'm still in that second room

You haven't really gone far enough yet - you should have burnt your house down.

Because of crippling arachnophobia?

Oh hello MiL, I didn't realise you were on here! .

Really helpful Lllot5
Some people have something called arachnophobia....its not something they can grow up over

OP I am the same. Am terrified. I'm in a second floor apartment and left my balcony door open the tiniest crack last week (I only open a little as I tend to get a zillion flies heading in). By mistake I left it open until about 10am as I had a bath...sat on the sofa and 2 massive spiders crawling around. I dont usually get them as keep things closed and use my clover oil to keep them at bay!

So since then the doors are closed. I crack open a window in the kitchen but only for a few hours in the day...and make sure its closed before evening arrives. I spray the clover thing/spider no more every week. I'm boiling but needs must

I wish it was something I could grow up over but a phobia is irrational and I dint know why I'm so scared of them!

sorry - but the spiders are already in. Kitchen cabinets? Behind dishwasher? Next to fridge? Through the gas pipe that leads outside? Sorry OP. Hope you get help and hope its not too hot.

I feel similarly about moths OP. A few weeks ago I bought some fly screens from amazon for the windows and it has made so much difference! Nothing except fresh air has managed to get through them so far and it's so much more comfortable sleeping with the windows open at night. Got to be worth a try!

@category12 Next time. I will. ,😂

I don’t open the windows at night due to mosquitos and other flying insects buzzing around the lights, and in case DS cries and the sound travels and wakes up the neighbours.

However; our house is relatively cool at 23 degrees so ask me if it really climbs!

So why aren't you getting help for this? You haven't answered...

Thanks @Teacakeandalatte we have fans on all year round, so kind of accustomed and used to the house temperature. But this week is something else.

I don't understand (and yes, I had a phobia) why people don't seek some help rather than entangle their partners and potentially pass it on to their children.

In practical terms (and in the short term) get fly screens for your windows. In the long term, get some help. It's very effective generally.

Nobody is saying that phobias aren't real.

But getting into your 40s, still having the same phobia you've had as a child and doing extreme things like refusing to go into a room because you've seen a spider is obviously affecting your life. When it's 30 odd degrees and you're sweltering with the windows closed, that's affecting everyone's life.

There are ways of dealing with this, getting better and although you might never want to have one as a pet, you can learn to stop it affecting your life.

You have to want to change your behaviour though.

Right, what you do is stand in front of every window and recite:
Spider, spider, go away
You're not welcome here today

Then go to bed. With the fucking windows open.

Some people have something called arachnophobia....its not something they can grow up over bollocks. The OP here hasn’t sought professional help. Instead she expects others around her to pander to this phobia to the extent that they could be putting their own health at risk.

So “grow up” is mild IMO.

If the OP really had a phobia she would have sought help for it by now. But as it is there are probably spiders in the very room she is in and yet she makes her partner leave all the windows closed in case she sees the spiders which are already there.... personally I would ltb if I were him, and if the thread was the other way around would advise anyone posting that their partner refused to open windows on the hottest days of the year that they were controlling, and that the poster should ltb.

I'm the same. We live rurally and have them anyway, big ones but I know they come in through the windows especially upstairs as they are in the ivy that covers the house.

Concrete floored bungalow here and we have spiders. Hundreds of the fuckers. Massive ones too. Don’t know how they get in but I’ve learned to live with them as I’d literally have to burn the house down to eradicate them.

Never mind spiders and insects. We have to worry about burglers.