To give DP a medal for putting up with me not opening the windows in this heat...

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Because of crippling arachnophobia? 😭

Thanks for the helpful replies. I laughed at the scathing ones, as my post was intended as light-hearted, but all the responses have made me reflect on my phobia a fair bit. So thank you.

Spider phobia is so common, that I never gave it much thought and my DP is pretty patient and supportive.

If anyone has links to window screens and / or experience of methods to overcome the phobia, I'd be grateful.

I've not sought help as I genuinely didn't feel it was a big deal, plus my friend did a course at London Zoo which culminated in holding a spider and I wouldn't be able to face that.

To be honest I've just closed all our windows because there is no point having them open, there is no cool air. Outside is still really warm.

It is reminiscent of my time working in Phoenix, Arizona* and in the evening the inability to escape the oppressive heat as you walked between air con car to air con shop/restaurant/Hotel. It must have been this warm at night in years gone by, but I can't remember being reminded of desert heat before.

*it's the hottest place I've been to, hence the random naming of the place.

Good point @endofthelinefinally 😅

Some people really don’t understand phobias, aren’t they lucky.
Op, your DP does deserve a medal!
My DM has an irrational fear of spiders too, my DF has to do a bedroom check before bed, she has conkers in every corner of every room because they are supposed to keep spiders away.
I don’t mind the little buggers, I let them do their own thing in my house.
Perhaps think about getting some help for your phobia, they suck the joy out of life as your fear is always in the back of your mind 24/7.

Oh and my phobia is moths. The big flappy bastards. So if the windows are open, the lights stay off.

Have you had any therapy for this OP?

you can get mesh screens for windows. In Australia and US they are sold in DIY stores and universally used. Over here, seldom seen. But www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=mesh%20insect%20screen&rt=nc&LH_PrefLoc=1&_trksid=p2045573.m1684

the ones I've seen, you make up two rectangular frames from the kit. One you cut to fit your windowframe or reveal, and screw it into place. The other you make to fit the first one, roll the mesh over it and cut off the excess. They clip on or are held magnetically or with velcro. Any home handywoman can fit them.

The London zoo thing must have been a type of exposure therapy. They would work up really really gradually to the holding- just pushing you a little out of your comfort zone each time. Just look for a counsellor who treats phobias- maybe cognitive behavioural therapy

it IS a big deal when you are too frightened to open the windows on the hottest day of the year. And it's a big deal for your family who have to go along with it.

Look, I'm not a spider fan. One ventures into my house, it gets squished with the largest, heaviest object close to hand. Your level of fear is at the most severe end of the scale - it's not that you're freaking out about seeing a spider, it's about freaking out that there might possibly be a spider, or possibly not.

The gradual exposure courses are excellent, for all types of phobia.

Sorry op, cross posted, just seen that you decided to not seek help, I haven’t for my specific phobia because the thought of the exposure part of therapy terrifies me.

No, none @NoSauce. I'm very phobic of a few things (flying, heights, enclosed spaces), but spiders is my biggest fear by far.

My best mate is petrified if moths too @TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt I catch them for her with my hands and out them outside. Spider though?... No ta.

Today in the car a spider abseiled down from my sun hat as I sat there. A beetle crawled across my arm and my DS found an earwig on the back seat. The little bugs are everywhere it seems. I even got chased into the back door by an angry wasp tonight. Open the windows the bugs have won.

Why haven’t you had therapy? I don’t think it’s fair to expect other people to be in a house with no window open right now.

Seek some help for your anxieties.

phobias are very effectively treated with CBT therapy. There's nothing to fear but fear itself so to speak and working with a confident therapist who you trust you can get over the phobias. If you're in England the NHS will even treat it for you via the IAPT service if it is impacting your life to the extent you can't open windows, go into rooms etc.

Your house must smell really musty and stale if you don’t open your windows.

OP has to want to change though and it's clear from her posts that she doesn't want to change.

@justasking111 I would have crashed. 😲

@Lizzielocket Same. It terrifies me too. My friend who did the course is still scared of spiders too.

@romeoonthebalcony I will look into CBT, as exposure therapy scares me shitless.

@PigletJohn thank you for the links. I get paid Thursday, so will look at ordering.

My friend bought a house which she hoped she and her boyfriend would move into together. He refused so she stayed in his tiny studio flat because she was too scared of spiders to live alone in the house. When she did live by herself in another flat, she also used to call me round to get rid of them. Yes I went but I did eyeroll extensively!

@OtraCosaMariposa Not at all. In my mind, I never considered it a big deal as it's one of the most common phobias. This thread has actually been enlightening.

@Elision not to my nose. Byit, maybe to visitors. No idea.

We nailed black tulle over our windows during a heatwave in London one year. You can't really see the tulle....it keeps flies out and lets air in.

I've not sought help as I genuinely didn't feel it was a big deal

If it means you won't open windows in this weather, it definitely is a big deal. Make an appointment tomorrow.

@StCharlotte I asked sellers how spidery the house was when I was buying. Like they'd reply honestly! 😅

I've had two spiders IN MY BED in under a week.... Which is directly below what has been an open window! One crawled up my hand last night and I jumped and flicked it onto my own face!!! Wasn't tiny either!

@Isatis Yeah, I see that after this post. As I say, it's a common phobia, so thought it was normal really.

Hi @GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery

Have you tried getting one of them plug in noise things? They emit and noise that humans / cats can't hear and it stops spiders or mice etc

Think mine was £15 from b&q - I haven't had a spider in my house in 5 years even with the windows wide open