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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 22/07/2019 21:51

I have a 'greedy' DD and I would have done the same. How else is she to learn?

We have a snack cupboard that has a lock on it and DP and I have a key each. Crisps, chocolate and cakes, as well as squash is locked in the cupboard. We have told her about what is healthy and what is better eaten in smaller portions, but she has not control or off switch! She cannot control herself (I am convinced ADHD, but.....blah blah blah) so we control it for her.

This is why we do not buy ice cream or ice lollies unless in packs of 4 to be eaten after dinner, all together.

MissRhubarb · 22/07/2019 21:51

YANBU. I'd have binned it too. The sneakiness and lying about her dad she needed to be pulled up on.

Threads about food on here are always weird. A lot of people have their own issues and bring them here.

GabsAlot · 22/07/2019 21:52

Op of course yanbu i prob would have eaten it myself but if you didnt fancy it fine

Ignore the goady pp esp reanimated who makes it their mission to go on every thr4ead and disagree with the op

Passthecherrycoke · 22/07/2019 21:53

I’d eat 3 magnums and I would’ve done at 11 (not that we had such luxuries- I could scarf 20 freeze pops though Wink) I don’t have an eating disorder. Just fancy a treat overload every so often. Magnums rock

zzzzzzzz12345 · 22/07/2019 21:54

One magnum exceeds the daily sugar dose for a child. I’d go nuts if my child had two, never mind three. I’d have binned it and then imposed a further sanction for both lying and being a greedy pig. You did the right thing op but maybe need to have more clear rules on such matters, like one treat item only? Three magnums is just bizarre.

tinyvulture · 22/07/2019 21:55

I think it’s an extreme reaction. I would just tell her not to do it again.

I’m a size 8, and have great teeth, and I am quite certain that on many occasions in my life I have eaten the equivalent of 3 magnums in a day. As long as she doesn’t have them every day, it is unlikely to be disastrous for her physical health.....

SaxxedtotheMax · 22/07/2019 21:55

Do you take balloons out of childrens hands at parties OP?

Seriously though, I would give DD 10/10 for effort.

You have always got to be one step ahead in this world.

You snooze, you lose Grin

LillithsFamiliar · 22/07/2019 21:56

What kind of philistine puts a Magnum in the bin? Grin
Meh, it's the summer. She was sneaky but I wouldn't have wasted an ice cream. She'd have realised herself how sickening three are, if you'd let her finish it. I'd have told her she wasn't getting any more treats this week.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 22/07/2019 21:57

And the don’t waste food brigade, really? You’d rather your child ate another 40 grams of sugar? I waste food if I cook too much rather than overfeed my kids or us. I try hard not to, but there are definitely times when clear your plate or eat everything that’s cooked is a really bad message.

15YemenRoad · 22/07/2019 22:02

@zzzzzzzz12345 The point is - you try hard not to. That is literally the point of the "waste food brigade".

Purposely wasting and throwing away food is awful and should not be encouraged and taught. This does not mean that food wastage is unavoidable and does not happen, but we all need to do what we can to prevent it.

As you learn to cook you begin to understand portions and can ensure you cook enough to last the period you need it to. It is all trial and error.

If you make too much dinner, instead of throwing it away, if possible you can re-use it the following day for lunch etc.

Fuzzyend · 22/07/2019 22:03

This thread is like mumsnet bingo - thoroughly enjoying it - keep going everyoneGrin!

Cheeserton · 22/07/2019 22:03

*IdaMay19

She doesn't have a binge eating disorder, bloody hell.*

There was me thinking she was starving, and now she's a serial binger!

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 22:04

I always love the "coca cola is not coke you know" brigade.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 22/07/2019 22:05

15yemen, yes we do this already but the idea of leaving a child to breach the 100g a day sugar barrier instead of ‘wasting’ it is just nuts. What on earth is the lesson if you just let her carry on??

TeacupDrama · 22/07/2019 22:05

i agree with OP if I had bought magnums it would have been on the basis of there being one each so someone having three would deprive the others of even having one
when I buy treat food it is shared equally
tonight we had tiramisu we shared half between three I said the rest is to be shared tomorrow night for pudding so anyone helping themselves to it before tomorrows dinner will be in trouble

separatebeds · 22/07/2019 22:06

Exactly why we don't have things like magnums in the house.....

It's much too tempting. You should stop buying things like this.

Zofloramummy · 22/07/2019 22:07

@thentherewascakes I actually agree with you about the fizzy drinks but the OP had listed it amongst the ‘treat’ food on their day out. That indicated to me that it isn’t a regular item for them. Therefore didn’t warrant the histrionics later on in the thread.

My DD won’t actually touch any fizzy drinks as she hates them all. I’m lucky on that score. She would however eat her own body weight in fruit and cheese if I let her.

I do believe in order to raise adults who can make rational food choices they need a balance of foods. Otherwise once the controls are off they go a bit crazy. Many a skinny teenager goes to uni and comes back unfit and overweight. By denying all treats you are storing up trouble for later.

However 3 magnums is just plain greedy. I’d have done the same as the OP. I was the opposite as a child and had major issues with food after being bullied for being overweight in junior school. I wasn’t at all, but I practically starved myself for years and my parents tried all sorts to make me eat. It usually involves punishment and I ended up with a very unhealthy relationship with food for many years.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 22/07/2019 22:10

Separate beds, if an 11 year old child can not be stopped from taking ridiculous quantities of treat food for herself, there is so much more wrong than having the food in the house. I’m sure that the OP can ensure this doesn’t happen again if the matter is dealt with properly. There is nothing wrong with having treat food in, it’s ensuring that everyone who is too young to exercise self control knows that helping yourself is off limits.

Pinktinker · 22/07/2019 22:10

Rather wasteful. I would have taken it off her and eaten the rest myself.

Malyshek · 22/07/2019 22:10

You british are crazy. Whoever eats dinner at 5pm. No way I'd be hungry then. For us dinner would be around 20h.

Anyway, you were totally right to bin the ice cream. The daughter is responsible for this waste, not the op. I don't like wasting food but my body ain't a garbage can where I must toss unwanted food lest it be wasted.

I'm astonished that some people actually think that the daughter eating three ice creams is fine.

And the people saying it's the op's fault for buying treats... Seriously, those are the only options ? Either buy no treats, or let your children eat as much as they want because "you bought it so it's your fault" ?

zzzzzzzz12345 · 22/07/2019 22:12

Malyshek, apart from the mealtime judging, I’m right with you on all counts.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 22:14

Malyshek
I completely agree, but apparently British kids MUST in bed and asleep at 6:30, 7pm at the latest.

It's one of life mystery to me, mine don't! They don't get up at 5am either.

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 22:14

Yes, I'd like to confirm that I have no guilt over the food wastage involved in disposing of half a slobbery ice cream! We're not talking the Sunday roast here

OP posts:
thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 22:15

Zofloramummy
I don't think it's denying treats to ban things like coca cola.

shrumps · 22/07/2019 22:17

YANBU. No one needs 3 ice creams in one day, regardless of age, or 'summer'.

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