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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
CrazyToast · 22/07/2019 21:29

You weren't unreasonable and you know it. For her health and her behaviour you showed a consequence. That's good parenting.

SweetAsSpice · 22/07/2019 21:29

The sneakiness is wrong - but look at ‘why’ she was sneaky. Was it to make sure she could have the last one? Or was it to have more than everyone? Or was it an impulse control/couldn’t stop herself. Lots of things to think about and to learn from.

SegregateMumBev · 22/07/2019 21:29

The volume of food waste in our society appals me. Telling someone to throw away good food that they were eating- even though you were right to point out that Three in a day is too many, is not a good example.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/07/2019 21:29

Ah thentherewascakes you're really just being goady! You aren't even trying to reply to points made.

Having supper isn't 'eating all the time'. OP & others have explained why children have supper.

I don't often myself. But I also find it hard to eat a big meal at, say 6 pm, much prefer eating in the middle of the day.

See, we're all different!

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 22/07/2019 21:32

Don't waste food. Of any kind.

HopelessLayout · 22/07/2019 21:35

It's such a large amount she ate - is it just chancing her arm or is this some sort of binge eating disorder?

That's what I was wondering. Or at the least, too many refined carbs triggering massive cravings that she would lie and steal to satisfy.

m0therofdragons · 22/07/2019 21:36

You sound quite the control freak over what she eats. She’s 11, it’s summer.

She's 11 and 3 magnums is nuts! I would expect my 11yo to have more than one ice cream in one day and I'm genuinely surprised so many think that's okay. The lying needs consequences but apparently we shouldn't be controlling our children but stopping them eating levels of junk that is likely to have consequences. This isn't a birthday ice cream for breakfast type treat.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/07/2019 21:36

I'm sorry but why is an 11 year old helping themselves to desserts from the freezer without permission?! Until you are buying it with your own earned money you don't help yourself to things without permission. I'm 34 and wouldn't help myself to an ice cream from my parents freezer without asking. Never mind that 3 magnum is a huge amount of calories and sugar for an adult, let alone a child, it's just poor manners not to ask.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:36

EarringsandLipstick

Why on earth am I goady?
I wouldn't encourage my kids to eat after dinner, and it's usually the light meal of the day in my house. It's not something I have ever been used to.

If someone is hungry, there's plenty of food in the house, but they shouldn't need to be hungry after dinner. We don't eat at 6pm anyway, no one is home that early, or rarely.

The concept of snacking after dinner sounds very weird, sorry.

RushianDisney · 22/07/2019 21:37

It's one bloody day and a treat day at the end of term at that, I think some of the accusations being thrown at OP are pretty ridiculous not to mention harsh.
I would have done the same with the magnum. But I also think the greediness from DD was just a result of being a bit indulgent because she was having a treat day, which is pretty standards for 11 year olds. Eating loads of sugary things puts me off 'proper' food, and makes me crave more sugar, so I think wanting another magnum at a time when she usually has something to eat is hardly unexpected. Toast or fruit is a standard supper imo, good wholemeal or seedy bread is not some sort of devil carb, and I'm not on board with demonising fruit sugar.

I think using the word supper lost you support due to inverse snobbery though OP. Should have called it a snack

oldenoughtobehavebetter · 22/07/2019 21:37

Yanbu

Everybody has overindulged a bit sometimes and thought oops.

As long as you told her 3 is too many but didn't shame her for it I think it's fine.

It reminds me a bit of those marshmallow experiments they did with kids

Jellybeansincognito · 22/07/2019 21:38

Gosh no yanbu. Anything less and you’d be making it seem ok to eat 3.
Who on earth eats 3?

15YemenRoad · 22/07/2019 21:38

@SegregateMumBev That is exactly my concern, we should be teaching our children about food waste and how to ensure we are acting appropriately to not add to the problem consciously.

Making her throw it away is a terrible example, you could have taken if away and even given it to someone else if you truly did not want her to have another bite, but, the sensible thing would have been to make her understand that her lying was wrong and that she is to not help herself like this. Perhaps then setting a limit for the rest of the week/summer.

This would have been a good opportunity to also discuss excess eating and ensuring we are not over-eating and making better choices.

Consequences are great and should be enforced for behaviour that is wrong, but we should also ensure that we are leading by example and helping them understand why we have certain rules in place.

Nonetheless, she is still a child, they can be greedy, and a one off is not the end of the world. It would be more concerning if this was a habit.

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 21:39

She doesn't have a binge eating disorder, bloody hell.

OP posts:
thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:41

those marshmallow experiments they did with kids

I'll have to try that with mine!

Mrscog · 22/07/2019 21:42

Who on earth eats 3?

I’d find it easy to eat 2 magnums in a day - one after lunch and one after dinner, so 3 in an 11 year old who probably has a super speedy metabolism isn’t too hard to imagine! Quit the faux shock.

NoisyNeighbour · 22/07/2019 21:43

YABU

100g per Lolly.

Chill out or dont buy them.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 22/07/2019 21:43

It’s not the three magnums (which is a lot!) it’s the sneaky and lying behaviour. Well done OP on parenting and teaching consequences! 👍

melissasummerfield · 22/07/2019 21:46

Yabu allowing two ice creams in the MORNING Shock

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 21:46

Nobody would have finished off that magnum, she'd peeled off the outside and had licked away at the insides, I love my children but no.

I hope there's no inverse snobbery at play here, we're as working class as they come and I also had supper as a child, thanks to the instigation of my very working class grandmother who worked in a factory all her life. In fact the granary bread/satsuma combo is a direct result of her thinking a satsuma was the best and most exotic treat a child could have, subsequently it has been passed down the generations and my siblings and cousins are often to be found eating the same. It has to be the roughest and seediest bread you can get, with proper butter on it, and you have to place the segment of satsuma on top and take a bite. You can have it with milk or water but you can't have it with tea until you are married, that is the Law.

You'll all probably be phoning social services because we use proper butter now...

OP posts:
Zofloramummy · 22/07/2019 21:46

Omg! The responses on here! Particularly the one saying you couldn’t expect a healthy diet from people who buy their children coke Grin You do know that’s a drink right? Not the class A drug.

Op she was greedy and she lied. Yes absolutely bin the ice cream.

DogHasEatenTheSqueaker · 22/07/2019 21:47

I’d sell my right foot for a magnum right now. Even a bin magnum would do 😞

Branleuse · 22/07/2019 21:49

i might have done that if i was really annoyed, but more likely I would not buy them again, and if she asks, id say why

Bubbletrouble43 · 22/07/2019 21:49

Yanbu op. Lol at the posters who are calling you a control freak and a bully.... nope, it's called parenting.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:50

you couldn’t expect a healthy diet from people who buy their children coke grin You do know that’s a drink right? Not the class A drug.

I know you are trying to be funny, but I find it quite depressing that giving coca cola to a child is supposed to be "normal".

I am not even thinking about what the production does, but the fashion is to be against palm oil so we're good.

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