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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DD put the rest of her ice cream in the bin.

315 replies

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 19:58

DD is 11. This morning she has had two Magnum ice creams. I have just came in from the garden to find her sitting at the kitchen table, eating a third.

I was a bit annoyed, and told her that she shouldn't be eating the third ice cream as she had already had two that day, and she should think of leaving some for other people. I thought that perhaps DH didn't realise she'd had two earlier and was allowing her a treat, so asked if she had checked with DH if she could have the ice cream. She said yes. At that point DH wandered in and I said "you do realise that's her third Magnum today?" he said "I didn't know she was having it?"

DD then said "well I asked if I could have supper". I told her she was lying by omission, because supper has always, for almost a decade, been fruit or toast,as she knows well,and she knew that neither DH or I would have said yes to supper being the third Magnum of the day!

By this point I was annoyed that she'd been sneaky more than I was annoyed at the actual eating of the ice cream, so I made her put the rest of it in the bin. She's now stomped off in a huff.

AIBU? I know it's summer, but as well as the ice cream she's had fries and a Coke on our day out today, plus biscuits when we called to see a relative earlier, and that's on top of egg and toast for breakfast and a huge dinner. She's active and very slim, but that's a huge amount of sugar compared to our usual amount, so that was me relaxing for the summer!

OP posts:
AE18 · 22/07/2019 21:15

@ReanimatedSGB what about the taboos around lying and stealing? Don't they matter?

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:16

What's wrong with fruit & toast, by the way?

as the only option for snacks? What do you think?
From people happy to buy coke for an 11 year old, I am guessing that classifies as healthy.

reminds me of the person who famously stated that there was "lettuce" in a big Mac.

Mrscog · 22/07/2019 21:16

3 magnums is not ideal but as a one off? At 11? In someone who otherwise has a healthy diet? Really nothing to write home about!

Op I actually think YWBU. A punishment of no more treats this week for deception would have been fine, but to throw away a perfectly good ice cream was OTT.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:17

Dinner happens between 5-6 and is the big sit down hot meal.

Supper happens around 7-8 and is fruit or evil, evil death toast.

can I ask on what planet does anyone need a snake, sorry supper, 2 HOURS AFTER DINNER? Bloody hell, I must live on another planet.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:18

*snake? Grin
I did mean snack, but whatever Grin Grin

Cheeserton · 22/07/2019 21:20

Mmmm. Snake on death toast.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/07/2019 21:20

thentherewascakes

But...fruit counts as healthy, full stop, not in any 'context' 🤦🏻‍♀️

Toast (bread) is also fine. Not as substitute for dinner but yes, fine as a snack or part of lunch or breakfast 🤷🏻‍♀️

It could be white, brown, home-made ... OP mentions granary.

Why do you keep implying there's something darkly evil about 'fruit & toast'?

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 21:20

@thentherewascakes go back and read my posts for God's sake, we do provide other snacks and the coke is hardly a regular occurrence!

Fuck knows how half these posters kids manage, they're either eating nothing but spinach and steak or else they've their heads permanently in the deep freeze.

OP posts:
userxx · 22/07/2019 21:21

Toast counts as dinner in my house.

73Sunglasslover · 22/07/2019 21:21

That's a shocking amount of sugar and massively unhealthy. Totally with you. My kids would get no ice-creams for the rest of the summer if they ever dared to take one from the freezer when not explicitly offered. It's such a large amount she ate - is it just chancing her arm or is this some sort of binge eating disorder?

EarringsandLipstick · 22/07/2019 21:21

Most kids, many adults have something small before bed. Glass of milk, cracker, even toast maybe!

(Not snakes tho.😂)

Timandra · 22/07/2019 21:22

I would have made her throw it in the bin just because she had taken it without asking and then lied about it.

I don't think throwing it away was a waste. My DH better for food like that to be in the bin than in the child.

Allowing her to finish it and then denying her other treats in the following days makes far too much of an issue about food.

She took something she shouldn't have and wasn't allowed to keep it. That's good parenting in my view. By tomorrow everyone will have moved on and she will have the experience to draw on when making future decisions.

SoftSheen · 22/07/2019 21:22

Active, growing children and teenagers do sometimes need supper, in that two hours since dinner they may have been swimming, out on their bike or jumping on a trampoline. It's difference from a middle-aged adult lazing in front of the television.

A banana or a bit of toast would be fine- not a magnum though!

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 21:23

Supper happens because the children are often at sports or climbing up trees with the children next door between dinner and bed time, and they come in hungry.

OP posts:
userxx · 22/07/2019 21:23

@73Sunglasslover I'd say she's a young girl who likes the taste of magnums and is taking the piss. Where did you get binge eating disorder from!

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:23

I tried the touristy "snake on alcohol", I am not convinced. Grilled snake is apparently not that great - must investigate one day.

Singlebutmarried · 22/07/2019 21:24

I once ate three mint magnums in a row. Bloody hell did I feel sick.

But I’m in my 40s and felt like it.

It’s not a regular occurrence.

DD has been caught pilfering food, that has also been binned.

IdaMay19 · 22/07/2019 21:24

Totally chancing her arm.

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 22/07/2019 21:25

evil, evil death toast Grin brilliant.

Surely the point here is the deception- she knew she wasn't allowed three magnums and went about doing it anyway... to allow her to continue profiting from the deception undermines the point in telling her off!

gingerbiscuits · 22/07/2019 21:25

I'd probably have done the same - not so much even due to what it actually was she was eating but because she was deliberately sneaky about getting it & lied to you when asked.

MaryH90 · 22/07/2019 21:25

YANBU if you hadn’t binned it what would be her motivation for not doing the same thing the next time she fancies something she knows she shouldn’t have.

thentherewascakes · 22/07/2019 21:26

Most kids, many adults have something small before bed. Glass of milk, cracker, even toast maybe!

do they? Why not, but I've never heard of that!
Never been offered a snack by anyone when I am staying over either. Why do people need to eat all the time is beyond me.

SweetAsSpice · 22/07/2019 21:27

Honestly I would use it as a teachable moment. At that age, I understood the importance of eating ‘healthily,’ but I honestly didn’t value the importance of controlling your sugar intake, for a whole host of health reasons. I think we are only just learning about and embracing the consequences of sugar (as a society) in recent years.

Talk to her about why she chose that as her supper, then show her the equivalent of how much ‘sugar’ that is. And now she is getting older, she will become more in charge of her own eating habits (and this is important, you do not want food to become a control issue with a pre teen girl) and yes, a treat is to enjoy in moderation, but you need to nourish your body, and ‘fuel’ it with good food to be healthy. Encourage her to ‘make’ her own healthy treats with you, that she can have for supper instead.

I honestly wish someone had sat me down and taught me about all of that as a young person. It allows for a healthier relationship with food.

Cheeserton · 22/07/2019 21:27

Grilled snake is apparently not that great - must investigate one day.

Try snake en croûte, or snake fricassée.

15YemenRoad · 22/07/2019 21:27

@Elision Actually, no it is not clear. I'm not sure where you got off acting so high and mighty assuming people are trying to be "cute". People refer to their meals differently, and the OP has clarified that dinner and supper are not the same.

It's similar to how some call dinner, tea and so forth.

Those pretending to know what others are thinking are not as cute as they think they are.

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