Class wedding - just me or is it a bit creepy?

[NotAnotherJaffaCake]

CofE primary, quite churchy. Rural catchment so no choice of schools unless you want to drive. They are organising a Class Wedding for one of the KS1 class - basically role playing a wedding at the local church.

Is it just me or is this creepy? Can't put my finger on it but it feels entirely inappropriate for small children. It's one thing kids messing about playing but another thing to be told by a vicar that God will not permit divorce. And there is no way this school will demonstrate a Jewish or Hindu wedding, let alone a gay one. And how do the kids whose parents have split up or never married in the first place feel?

AIBU?

Who is going to say that God will not permit divorce? That would be a very weird thing for a CofE vicar to say, OP. I don't really see how you've got from role-playing a wedding to this whole thing about divorce.

And how do the kids whose parents have split up or never married in the first place feel?
Huh?

I really think you are overthinking this whole thing massively.

YANBU. It's creepy.

It's a bit strange but I wouldn't call it creepy or inappropriate. It's a CofE school so obviously they wouldn't be doing a hindu wedding, same as they wouldnt have a leader of a different religion leading three Sunday service.

What the hell’s creepy about it? It’s not a satanist ceremony ffs.

Yuck

It’s kids dressing up and playing weddings...didn’t you ever do that as a kid? Only difference is here it’s structured play and used as a box ticking exercise for the RE curriculum.

There was a lot of this around at the time of the Royal Wedding.

It doesn't seem to have scarred a generation.

I am more concerned that younseem to assume that the school,will,be doing thus incompetently and will be bigoted.

You might have to bite the bullet and start driving to a school,which ounfind trustworthy.

When I was at catholic school we studied the wedding ceremony. It was in the textbook and although we were sat at our desks had to read out the different parts and the teacher explained them.
This is not really that much different. We could ask questions etc. They didn't bang on about divorce being forbidden. It isn't forbidden it's just not recognised in the catholic church.
I don't really know what you are worried about. Can you speak to the teacher?

It’s a bit weird! What’s the point of it?!

Dressing up because children want to is one thing, an organised class wedding where presumably one girl is chosen as the bride and the other is chosen as the groom (and maybe another boy giving the 'bride' away?) is reinforcing patriarchal and heteronormative traditions and I think there are all sorts of things wrong with it.

I don't know if it's typical for a CoE school

Playing weddings in the playground or the home corner is a bit different to teachers organising going to an actual Christian place of worship and getting kids to act one out. It's just so... yuck. Why can't they just learn about weddings at school? Not everything has to be role played.

Reception class in my DS' catholic school had a pretend wedding. And a pretend baptism too. All acted out in the classroom.
Its a friendly way of explaining the some of the sacraments to them.

Don't be so over sensitive.

I don’t think it’s that bad op. I also can’t imagine a c of e vicar would preach to children that god won’t permit divorce? And some c of e vocals are very pro gay relationships and will give church blessings etc - so maybe your kids will have a same sex ceremony?

Hmm. Mixed bag of responses. I think Orchid sums up how I feel. Marriage is a serious thing and I think it's quite a difficult thing to discuss with children of that age. How do you tell girls they are equals with boys, but actually we're going to tell you in your wedding to obey your husband? Or be given away by your dad? Girls aren't property.

And if it's just a fun day dressing up, what's the point?

I also don't think that just because they are a CofE school, they get off the hook for not talking about other religions. How does that fit in with British values?

I also find it a bit weird. And very role-confirming. Are they acting out baptisms too? Funerals? I mean, what does it add to their education would be my question.

I am prepared to admit that IABU. I have no problems at all with a Nativity play, which isn't a million miles away. But I still don't like it.

And there is no way this school will countenance any kind of alternative wedding. It's as traditional as they come.

That is definitely not typical of a C of E school. Is it a diocesan school which can be more churchy than a c of e school?

One of my relatives was baptised with an older sibling's class in attendance. The children loved it, we could barely get near the baby ourselves!

I don't find it creepy. Marriage is one of the 7 sacraments that are taught in the Christian faith so they will learn about it as part of their RE syllabus I would imagine.
Its likely the role play and dressing up is just to make it a bit more fun.

Makes me think of "The Whicker Man" with orange squash for some reason.

There's a lot of things I find distinctly creepy and sinister once you get out of the cities (Sherlock Holmes observations out of the train window to Baskerville are as true today ). There's a lot of folk memory of more pagan times dressed up inside "Christian" traditions. I wonder if this is one of them ?

DDs school does this too! Very similar set up - rural school, no choice to go elsewhere!

I think it’s super super weird and complained massively this year when it was DDs yeargroup. I banged on about celebrating diversity and how this ‘wedding’ just cemented Christian heteronormative values rather than embracing all types and styles of families.
Think I overdid it a bit as the headteacher looked scared and I’ve heard on the grapevine they aren’t doing it next year, just talking about how ‘some’ weddings can look.

Oops
I’m not even remotely sorry. I do think it’s creepy and odd and there are better ways of discussing families and religion.

I did this when I was in primary.
I was mother or the bride

It’s kids dressing up and playing weddings...didn’t you ever do that as a kid?
I can honestly say no, never.

I think this is weird as fuck, TBH, and I've never heard of such a thing. Maybe it'd be OK done in a normal class, just as a discussion about what a C of E wedding is, although I think in that case other cultures' weddings and other Christian ceremonies should be discussed too.

The fact that the school is 'traditional' and wouldn't teach about any kind of 'alternative' wedding makes me twitchy. They definitely seem to be presenting it as 'this is the right thing to do'.

Eh? What’s creepy about it?

My children go to our little village church school and their RE lessons often include role playing in the church, it helps them to learn.
They’ve done mock baptisms with dolls, weddings, Easter celebrations and even a funeral for the class hamster (R.I.P Hammy).

I think it’s a lovely, interactive way of teaching them.

My DD still says her favourite day at school was the day they did a mock “Harry and Meghan” wedding and had afternoon tea with the residents from the old people’s home next door.