Class wedding - just me or is it a bit creepy?

[NotAnotherJaffaCake]

CofE primary, quite churchy. Rural catchment so no choice of schools unless you want to drive. They are organising a Class Wedding for one of the KS1 class - basically role playing a wedding at the local church.

Is it just me or is this creepy? Can't put my finger on it but it feels entirely inappropriate for small children. It's one thing kids messing about playing but another thing to be told by a vicar that God will not permit divorce. And there is no way this school will demonstrate a Jewish or Hindu wedding, let alone a gay one. And how do the kids whose parents have split up or never married in the first place feel?

AIBU?

I really hate the idea.

If they are following the national curriculum my understanding is that other religions of the world get more classroom time as the kids get older. More than likely the school have decided to act out a wedding to make it more interesting for the kids than just reading about it/watching a video.

Fuck me there are some proper joy suckers here .

Its a CofE school . Wonder how many Jewish or Muslim schools teach about Christianity !!!?

I find it creepy because child weddings do happen.

Making menus and dressing up a teddy is one thing, roleplaying a wedding, in church is another.

Children as young as 7 are legally married in some countries.

"You can’t send your child to a faith school for convenience and then complain that they are taught the tenets of that faith.
This. I see so many threads on MN of people criticising the religious practices taught in faith schools that they have chosen to send their children to. If you don't want you children being taught a religion don't send them to a faith school."

But the CofE runs about 1 in 4 primaries so in many areas, especially rural ones, there is no choice if you want your child to be educated within your local community alongside local friends and neighbours. And the CofE's official position is that their schools aren't "faith" schools anyway, they serve the community and are for all faiths and none. Furthermore, if it's a "voluntary controlled" school, as the majority are, it shouldn't be "teaching the children a religion" at all, it should be teaching about religions following the same curriculum as local authority community schools.

I think you have to accept church schools will major on Christianity in RE so examples will mainly come from there. As a non-believer I would be OK with them role playing a ceremony as long as the teachers remember to say "some people believe... Some people do this...Some Christians believe/do...." and difference is acknowledged.

I'm going to have to stay away from this thread because my head is about to implode on itself

Me too, @Buddyelf

I've also seen no response to my post about the equivalency between people's attitudes on here and those of the parents in Birmingham being freaked out by lgbt lessons.

My CofE infant school did this over 50 years ago. I'd forgotten all about it until now.

I'd be ok with it IF they were enacting marriage ceremonies from other religions.

Would it? I'm not so sure. Maybe if there are places locally, some parents could encourage that inclusion - but this is CoE people sharing their faith, I think it would be far weirder if this was people not of that faith having kids enacting a rite. Maybe others would prefer it, but I could see just as many issues with that as not having it. The other rites will be covered, it's part of the National Curriculum, but many areas spread it out for ease and developmental appropriateness. If parents think it's important, many religious and cultural centres have open days and there are many resources online about this so you don't have to wait for the school to enact to one's heart's content. Some groups are more open to that than others though.

I can't help wondering whether there'd be so much outrage if the school had decided to enact a Hindu/Muslim/Sikh wedding I'd be very happy for a Christian, a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and any other wedding to be explored. It's the privileging of one of them that IIMO is wrong here.

The children are always very enthusiastic Well, yes. That's the problem. They're an easy crowd.

YANBU.
It's weird.
It's another sorry attempt by the Church of England to reinforce gender stereotypes and indoctrinate youngsters that marriage only happens between a male and a female.

PS we deal with the primary school RE curriculum giving most of its airtime to Christianity - which would be the same in any school, to a greater or lesser extent, as that's what the curriculum mandates - by making sure we talk about other religions (and secular perspectives) at home, to give the balance. In this situation I'd be sure to talk at home about our own wedding (not in church), about families coming in all shapes and sizes, and about ceremonies in other faiths and cultures.

Whether we like it or not Church Schools will promote Heterosexual values

It’s not as cut and dried as that.

Every school should have an anti-bullying policy and many will include homophobia as something they oppose.

An increasing proportion of Christians are accepting of LGBT+ people and endorse an inclusive environment. The Methodist Conference recently voted 5-1 in favour of the principle of allowing same-sex marriages in church, although there are further steps to be gone through before it can happen, and it’s not without controversy. The C of E currently can’t do that because of the way the law on same sex marriage was written. That doesn’t mean it may not change in the future and there is a group within the C of E campaigning for exactly that.

Out of interest, does the school have an equality and diversity policy?

sara, I hadn't seen your post but am happy to respond now:

People aren't so much 'demanding that schools don't cover things [they] don't believe in or approve of' as expressing a desire for more inclusive teaching (of other faiths and of none) and for teaching not to take place in a place of worship specific to one faith.

It's the privileging of one of them that IIMO is wrong here

They're not privileging one. The others will be covered later. You do know that you can't teach the whole of the National Curriculum in one week, right?

Wow.
All mine went to local c of e very churchy primary and did stuff like this. Three ended up taking RS at A level which is fascinating and concentrates on philosophy and ethics as well as religion.

Fwiw dd2 was the bride in the wedding run through and got full marks in the Islam paper rs mock!!

@DarlinNikita - see my post above. The other religions and ceremonies WILL be taught. It's early days. You can't teach everything at once.

And they did diwali, Judaism and islam at primary level. Fascinating stuff.

sara, the OP says 'And there is no way this school will demonstrate a Jewish or Hindu wedding, let alone a gay one.'

Even if the school does go on to teach about other faiths, it seems highly likely that they'll be taught in a classroom situation. This one will have the biggest impact on the children due to being acted out and held out of school.

Whether we like it or not Church Schools will promote Heterosexual values

Cof E aided schools do not promote Anglicism or heterosexual values. They teach the same curriculum as any other state school.

I need to walk away. I'm SO glad I'm now retired from teaching. Schools can't do right for doing wrong, in some parents' eyes.

It's not inappropriate. A C of E vicar wouldn't say God doesn't permit divorce either Do you really send your children to a religious school when you clearly don't know much about the religion? Why on earth would a C of E school feel the need to show a Jewish or Muslim wedding? I'm sure a C of E wedding wouldn't be demonstrated in a Jewish or Muslim school. Kids whose parents are unmarried probably won't care at all. It's not like they don't allow schools to teach students about say, healthy eating just incase their parents don't eat healthily. Or about jobs just incase their parents are unemployed. You don't have to actively have something as a part of your life to be able to learn about it! And as for parents who don't like it - tough. You sent your kids to a C of E school. If you don't like aspects of C of E then drive your kids to a different school 🤷

@DarlingNikita, the OP has no way of knowing that. Such things are part of the curriculum so there's no reason why they wouldn't. OP's daughter is in KS1. I doubt she knows for certain what's ahead.

Also NOBODY still uses the wedding vows about obeying one's husband anymore 🙄

• don't find it creepy. Marriage is one of the 7 sacraments that are taught in the Christian faith so they will learn about it as part of their RE syllabus I would imagine. Its likely the role play and dressing up is just to make it a bit more fun.*

This^.

It doesn't preclude teaching about other religions as well.

Several of the vicars around here are divorced, some have remarried. Our church has married many divorcees - not sure where you got the idea that the church forbade divorce, most c of e churches are pretty liberal and realistic! But it's a church school, of course they aren't doing Hindu but if a family joined the school and wanted to help do a Hindu celebration I'm sure they would jump at it - my kids first primary threw a huge eid party for the whole school because just one sibling pair were Muslim