Small bedroom, bad mum?

[tashakg89]

So I've got a (small)three bed house and ever since I moved in there five years ago I've had horrendous anxiety over the little bedroom, it is 5'11 by 6'9, the second bedroom is fairly small too (9'10 by 7'9) although I'm ok with that size and is plenty big enough for my six year old. My four year old is in the tiny box room and I feel constant guilt and daily anxiety about it. I can't afford to move and won't be doing so for another 4-5 years but I just want to enjoy my house and I can't as I feel like everyone's laughing at me and thinking I'm a bad mum for putting him in a such small bedroom.
I'm constantly on Rightmove too comparing it to other box bedrooms and it really is the smallest one I've ever seen.

What do other people think? Does anyone else have children in tiny bedrooms?

My DH was in a room that size until he was 16, he loved it.

If it's a new(ish) build, they seem to be getting smaller and smaller, I've heard of plenty you can't fit a single bed in. Nobody will be laughing. I know of families who have turned the cupboard under the stairs or a big built in wardrobe into a bedroom for a small child. We'd love a 3rd bedroom, my DS and DD are that age that they're not allowed to share anymore so to give them their own rooms we had to move to a sofa bed in the lounge until we are able to move into a bigger place.

Growing up I lived in a 5-bed house. My favourite bedroom was the box room! Small, cosy, felt like it was my private space and I loved watching the birds in a tree outside the window. I imagine your little one isn’t giving it a second thought, so please don’t feel guilty! Children generally accept what they have in that way. If you’re still in the house when your children are teenagers you might have to get a bit creative, but no big deal. X

It sounds perfect to me, like a den! As a child I would have loved it, I love small spaces, they feel very safe xx

Our 6 foot 3 inch tall son spent a year (between MA and PHD) sleeping in his childhood box bedroom. He didn't seem to mind!

Both of the kids' rooms in my house are small single rooms. My 21 and 17 year olds manage fine (we've lived here nearly 18 years). Don't feel guilty, as long as they're loved, they have boundaries and they get fed regularly, you're doing a fab job

My brother had the box room until he was 16. Didn’t do him any harm.

I’m struggling with DD16’s very small box room and storage. She has a large TV (given to her by a relative, 42 inches!!!) that she wants to have on a shelf unit but the gap is only 30cm!
I am no good at DIY and am unsure about what bracket to buy for the TV and If the wall will hold it therefore her room is a disaster zone and nothing fits!

Blimey! That’s fine OP. One of the HMOs I used to live in was 5ft x 6ft and our landlord still rented it out for £60 a week. And as a kid I had friends with rooms around the same size or smaller. One of my friends lived in a 2 bed flat with his parents and grown up brother. He had to sleep in one of the storage cupboards - you could only just squeeze the bed in and couldn’t open the door properly!!

DS, 8, is in a single room that's even smaller than the shoebox I was in growing up. He has a cabin bed that has a wardrobe and desk underneath. It's a great space saver. We put multicoloured fairy lights and some pillows in the space behind the desk/under the bed so he can hang out under there. He loves it. 10 month old DD shares a room with us and will be until we move out whenever that may be

Don't worry about it OP. I have a friend who has to share a room with her 4yr old and 2yr old. With a single bed, a smaller single and a cot and a chest of drawers, they are literally like sardines in there. Sometimes you just have to make the best of your situation.

My DP spent his whole childhood and teenage years in a box room. He hasn't been scarred for life. I really don't think kids care as much as we do about these things

When my 4 children were younger we had quite large bedrooms but one son wanted his own room , not to share with his little brother and chose to sleep in what was little more than a walk in cupboard although it had a window . The other kids were jealous and there was a lot of competition for this room when he moved out . I'm sure that your child will not suffer because the room is a little small .

#firstworldproblems

Kids need love and support. They don’t need any particular size bedroom. I personally think that spare cash is much better spent on giving kids access and opportunities, not on large houses and loads of stuff.

Sounds like a south east size bedroom in an old terrace house I had. DD bed was a 5'9' single bed and it just fitted in. So you will not be alone. The suggestion of both DC in one room to sleep, bunks, and the small room for play could work. If you can't move now then you have to reconcile that. The size of a bedroom is nothing to do with being a good mum.

Please don’t worry! I spent 21 years in a box room. It never bothered me in the slightest. The fact was it was MY room, MY space and I loved it regardless.
You sound like a lovely Mum and that’s all he needs! xx

I completely understand your anxiety and it's easy to say dont worry but it's not that simple.i think it's a lovely little room. We are in a 2 bed and have ss eow. He is 14 years older than our 1 year old and has asd so cannot share so my one year old shares with is eow. I feel guilty that neither gets their own room set up ideally for them. Dh hates loft conversions and tells me not to stress. We are looking if we can reconfigure/extend but only because we dont think we are using the downstairs space properly.

Why not put them into share in your room and you take the 2nd bedroom and keep the box room for staorage?

I am sure your child doesn't mind and you can make it cute and his little space. I always shared growing up. Big family. So having a room for myself would have been a dream although I would probably have missed the late night conversations as a teen. I got my boys sharing when they were same age as yours because I though it was good for their relationship and had the smallest room as storage room. They now are in separate rooms again because they have different sleep patterns. What I mean is don't worry about this non issue. What's important iis to have a loving home.

Sounds silly but are you able to change the door around so that it doesn't open in to the room? We did that with our smallest room (so it now opens out on to the landing). It then means you don't have to keep the door area clear if that makes sense?

I think that’s a lovely space. Personally I would have a jollier carpet but I’m not a fan of grey.

Under the Housing Act (1985 England & Wales, 1987 Scotland) a bedroom for a single child under 10 must be 50 sq.ft and for a single person over 10 it should be at least 70 sq.ft. (yours is about 40 sq.ft). Reputable estate agents should not advertise such a room as a bedroom, although it is not currently illegal to do so. It is illegal if the house needs an HMO licence, and case law has established that such a room is not a bedroom with respect to benefits under-occupancy penalty (the "bedroom tax").

When I was young my sister and I shared a bedroom and my brothers shared the box room , they had bunk beds and a small wardrobe. Don’t feel guilty the children have a roof over their heads and a bedroom each it’s more than some children have.

Tashag, our box room was similar and thing we did was get a carpenter and change the door so it would open outwards to the corridor, instead of onwards to the room (as other pp did). That gave us a lot more space for a rug and toys. He didn't have to change the frame, he modified it by cutting from one side and adding to the other, I think it was a hundred pounds or so. We did other doors and door handles at the same time, I can't be sure of price but definitely not expensive considering the impact in the room. Or swap the door so it would open towards the wall, we did that in another room and the room felt immediately bigger.

If I had your room, I would add some colour to the walls or the carpet. A bean bag, a fixed mirror to create illusion of space (fixed properly not just hung, for safety), colourful blinds, a fun lampshade, wall stickers or decals, etc.

We also have the layout of 2 doubles and a box room. Plus it has a corner chopped out for headroom on staircase! It is painted a pale colour and has lovely bunting around the top. I used a new type of paint that is not shiney but it reflects the light more. It has the door opening in, but against the wall and radiator is there too. Blind in window makes room feel bigger. High bed with storage under. Mirror to make room feel bigger. We are lucky that we can fit a set of drawers on landing for DS.