To be upset that

[TracyDraco]

My ex husband is taking part in a charity cycle event on a weekend he is supposed to have our children. He is taking part in said cycle event as his GFs daughter convinced.
Children will be with GM for weekend and will spend 0 time. Yes it’s great to do something for charity however do it on a weekend you don’t have them.
From my POV I feel as if his GF and her children’s wants are more important than spending time with his own children.
I can see a wedge slowly developing between him and our children. I can’t tell if it’s her or him. He didn’t ask to swap a weekend with me. I do feel upset for them.

If you want to have your children on your birthday during his access time you would be better off accepting that on his contact time he can ask people other than you to look after the children. Do you really expect that you behaving like this is going to make him think I know let Mum have them today as its her birthday.

my birthday will be fun as it falls on his weekend
But don’t you see that if you have a half decent relationship with your ex you could ask “oh, do you mind swapping weekends as it’s my birthday”?

You need a bit of give and take. When you are point scoring all the time it just gets both your backs up and neither of you will want to do the other one any favours.

I’m well within my rights as their mother to ask to want to spend time with them.

You do spend time with them. During your contact time. He isn’t depriving you of your contact time.

I don't know why people are still replying to your thread. You just argue with everyone that doesn't see your POV. It's as though you're even trying to convince everyone on MN that disagrees with you that you're right. I feel sorry for this guy. He's trying to get on with his life and you're trying to control him. So many people have tried to reassure you that it's one time and it's ok for your DC to see their GM. If you want these rules of yours set in stone then take him to court and make it all formal instead of arguing with everyone on here.

OP you don’t want a co-parenting relationship. You want veto over his parenting time. That’s not co-parenting. That’s controlling. Yes he could have offered you first refusal on having them but he didn’t have to and the fact he didn’t doesnt mean he isn’t co-parenting, it’s just means he made other plans this time.

You seem all over the place wrt what your actual issue is. We’ve had

1. he’s putting his girlfriends DC first
2. he’s going to be shipping your DC off to his mums all the time now because he’s done it once
3. his mum isn’t fit to have them
4. he didn’t ask you to have them.

It all just boils down to you not coping with him having a life involving his girlfriend.

So even though you've posted here and received a wealth of knowledge, you kept on at him as well? Of course, noone should be threatened but I'd want to see the whole conversation not the snippet where you got the result you wanted.
The more you write, the more I'm worried about the damage YOU are causing your children. Do you not worry about that?

I can see you've thrown your co parenting v parallel parenting bullshit into the text. You're clutching on to that for dear life but I would recommend you ease your grip and a little more counselling and a little less googling would be extremely beneficial here.

The more you write, the more I'm worried about the damage YOU are causing your children

This crossed my mind. The more the op posts, the more it's obvious she is consumed with bitterness and jealousy and it is clouding her judgement. You cannot co parent effectively when you let those emotions take over. It will take its toll on the kids. The bad feeling will be apparant. It will impact both parties behaviour. Little comments will sneak out. The bad feeling will be visible.

Op, it's been four years. I would look into counselling. For not just your sake, but for the sake of the kids. For everyone's mental health.

He clearly just wants to get on with his life. You don't want him to. You want to be a priority and you will use your kids to get it. None of this is about them. It's all about you.

It’s all about you.

^100% this.