To think that it's unkind to leave one person out?

[Mammyloveswine]

So I work in a small team of 6, i considered us to be a close team and friends. We have a WhatsApp group and all message everyday. One of the staff had a big birthday today. I tried to arrange a little lunch out to celebrate this week but not everyone could make it so I sorted a collection from everyone and also bought a gift just from me. I knew birthday girl was having a day/night out to celebrate today "with close family and friends" and knew that 2 other members of our team were going. All fine. They are close friends. Anyway I've just received a photo to our WhatsApp group of our whole team (not just the ones that I know are really close) who are all out on the town together celebrating. I wasn't invited and the others never mentioned they were going when we were discussing weekend plans.

I know that it's her choice to invite who she wants but I considered her a friend! In fact she messaged me last night thanking me for being such a good friend lately! For the whole team to have been invited but not me just makes me feel like crap. How can you just leave one person out?

The rational side of me says to not overthink it and it's probably nothing personal but part of me feels like I'm back at school again! I just feel really hurt!

AIBU to think that it's a little bit mean to invite all but one person?

Good response to them. The evening will be remembered as slightly awkward now, which is exactly what they deserve.

Well done, OP, what a bunch of cunts your colleagues are. I hope they are cringing, they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Just hold your head up high and be thankful that unlike them, you know how to behave with integrity.

Also, I reckon that one or two of them will not get caught up in a situation like this again. The BG has ruined her own social group with this behaviour.

You're my hero!

You did amazingly well. I would've been in tears. Angry tears, but still tears.

You know with all the talk this last couple of years surrounding mental health campaigns such as Its OK not to be Ok, and We stand together etc. Its shocking adults can behave like this.
Imagine if you were in a really difficult situation or very hormonal or in any sort of emotional low, just how this could impact you. Could be just the sort of thing to push someone over the edge!! Literally!! Thank goodness you came out of this intact although really fucking hurt.
Im disgusted at the shit that still goes on that should have been left in the school playground along time ago!
Children can be mean but by fuck adults are far worse, especially women. Women supporting women my arse! As if life isn't hard enough!
Anyway I'd still rather be you than one of those spineless bitches!

Well done OP xxx❤

Awesome, well done you!

Nice one OP... Back of the net.!!!

You know with all the talk this last couple of years surrounding mental health campaigns such as Its OK not to be Ok, and We stand together etc. Its shocking adults can behave like this.

The same people who post this stuff can year someone down in their next breath. It's meaningless. One of the mums who does it the most allowed her DD to leave mine out of a sleepover.

tear, not year.

I've been lurking.

I had no advice to add at the time.
But , I can and will add to your praises to high heaven!!
That was spectacular!

You are my hero, too!!

Well done!! Totally kicked ass there!!

You did the dilligaff!!

Adult bullying is a thing unfortunately OP. Some women (and men) never grow out of it. They don't tend to be very bright or socially aware either, so their friendships may be plentiful in the short term in a work type situation but have little longevity.

You dealt with it classily even though it was hard which puts you totally above those basic bitches and their pack mentality, respect ;)

Funny none of them felt shitty enough before hand only when called out.

I am impressed at your dignity and self awareness.

They have clearly lost a better friend in you than you have lost in them.

Good for you op x

👏 👏 well done!

I've been following this thread the whole time too @Mammyloveswine and had to post now to say a) I'm so sorry. It's crap. It hurts. There's no reason, it's nothing you have done, but that doesn't help and so many of us have been there and b) you are AMAZING - that was a perfect response. Calm, dignified but totally owning it and getting your point across.

I think you're great.

I know it doesn't resolve it and can't make you feel fully better, but I hope you feel better than you did, and rightly proud of yourself.

Well done. Totally took the upper ground and by staying calm and just stating the facts you totally rock!😊

Even shittier, they can’t even own what they’ve done. Very weak.

Wow OP you rock!!!

Sounds like you handled it perfectly OP - very proud of you. Re: It's ok not to be ok; a friend of long standing posted this on her social media as her daughter was going through some 'stuff' but when I brought up something ex-friend had done which really hurt me, she told me I'd lost perspective. I no longer bother with her and her continuous dramas.

Nicely handled OP. You handled it in a way that raised your social status.

Well done Mammyloveswine.
People get away with sh*tty behaviiur because they are so rarely called out on it.

@AlwaysTryingToHelp, I've done contracts at city councils and county councils and have seen teams like this.

In one of them, I worked over the Xmas period. Dear lord, the dynamics were bonkers. I was offered an extension into Feb and refused it.

It really isn't you - it's them.

Fantastic effort on your behalf - calm and dignified is my aim in work too!

Good on you OP

BG just said "eeeeh you should've just come along

And how did she expect you to do that? What a twat.