To ask what you think your twenties are for?

[tequilasunrises]

Just curious. DH and I are in our twenties, we’ve managed to clamber onto the property ladder with a horrifically expensive two bed terrace but naturally now have a rather large mortgage.

Both our families our keen travellers and big holidays every year (India, Thailand, Mexico, Maldives, Safari, Bali, Florida etc etc) are just the done thing. We’ve been on a few big ones the last couple of years and I’ve loved it.

Now I’m starting to think of everything in terms of the mortgage! Eg spending 2k on a holiday vs overpaying 2k on the mortgage, the mortgage seems sensible to me!

Family thinks we should be making the most of our frivolous twenties and travelling here there and everywhere.

So I’m asking MNers, what do YOU think your twenties are for?

Your 20s are for lie-ins!

If you want children, I don't think overpaying in your mortgage is a bad idea as it might give you more flexibility when children arrive about what sort of money you need to earn, if one or both of you want to drop to part-time etc.

It doesn't have to be all one or the other though. You could contribute some extra money to your mortgage and then travel cheaply. A good travel experience doesn't have to involve safaris etc.

I think I did a lot!

7 holidays
Bought 2 flats
Graduated
Went back to uni
Cohabited with 2 boyfriends
Slept with XX
Wrote a book (but never submitted it)
Gained/lost/gained/lost/gained stones in weight
Was severely ill/ disabled but recovered
Developed career to management level
Bought car outright
Had child
Went to one festival

Obviously not all in that order but it was still mostly good/ happy even though I never went out of Europe.

"I think your twenties are for experimenting and finding out what you want to do with your life."

I agree with the above statement and I'd add in having fun, while you aren't fully mature.

Yes, you can take holidays later but you've changed, so your holidays will.

I'd had my first child in my 20's, i had secondary infertility, so that dominated my 20's as well. I was Widowed in my 30's, with three children. All our future holiday plans obviously didn't happen. Neither did our house plans. We were fucked over, as many people were by our endowment mortgage, coupled with terminal illness, we had to sell.

However, I'm now mortgage free again and can travel. But, It's all a bit samey-samey and alcohol is no longer my friend, i also can't eat what i want, as most post Menopausal women can't. But if you do, then your energy levels are rubbish. That changes a holiday.

@Ohtheroses, surely in your peer group ypu know of many people who started to have health issues from mid 50's, but increasing by their mid 60's? You can't predict that you can still do the type of holidays that appeal to you as you age.

My circle isn't particularly unhealthy, either. If your undergoing investigations you can't get holiday insurance, that can knock a few years off your holiday taking.

Grandchildren then come along and need to be planned for.

Have as much fun as you can, in whatever form that is, whilst you don't have to focus on reproducing, or taking care of others.

Worked hard on career
Saved as much to get a good mortgage deal
Travelled (mostly Europe)
Built up booze tolerance
Had lots of sex
Slept a lot

Work hard, play hard, travel, experiment and regret nothing before having kids!

University, partying, finding the love of your life.

Also although I regret not travelling more, I also worked out pretty quickly, the people that did travell were usually funded by the bank of mum and dad. For me to do the same would mean huge financial sacrifice and debt

Yeah, it always amazes me that ‘travel!’ is given as advice so frequently when practically speaking it’s available to so few. For anything other than a couple of weeks long you need an income so great you can afford to save for travelling alongside paying to live, a job that enables you to take off for periods of time, etc. The only people I know who ‘travelled’ were those who lived with their parents so they had very low living costs and a place to return to and no expenses at home while away (and could save loads to travel due to not paying market rate rent and bills).

Travelling wasn’t something remotely possible for me for so many reasons, but I don’t mind either. I enjoy holidays and exploring new places and am often away around the U.K. for a couple days at a time at events, but I’ve never seen the appeal of ‘travelling’ for long chunks of time in other countries. I wonder if it’s partly to do with the fact I’ve been so skint and bankrupt in the past, the amount of guilt and fear I’d feel over spending excess cash on something like travelling over keeping a savings buffer for emergencies or putting towards an eventual house deposit or child would outweigh any enjoyment. Your mentality is very different I think when you’ve left home in your teens and never been able to return and don’t have a safety net like some do, you can’t afford to fuck up as there’s no childhood bedroom or parent to return to.

My 20's were spent building my business and career , little time for anything else

My 20s were for buying a house, having DS (at 21), getting married a year later and bringing up my stepson. By the end of my 20s I had moved into the career I wanted and spent my 30s progressing in until now I'm fairly senior at 40, DSS is married, DS is 19 and working full time, we have 5 years left on the mortgage and I'm a widow.

I wouldn't change my 20s for anything, even though they were quite responsible and not frivolous. I enjoyed them.

For us:

Finishing university
Establishing our careers
Buying a house
Enjoying ourselves with friends
And later on, planning to have a family and TTC (took a lot longer than planned)

We did go on holidays but didn't travel. Simply didn't have the ready cash for going long haul and seeing the world, and neither of us are of the 'roughing it' or 'camping' type.

We've seen way more of the world, in comfort, since having a child especially now said child is a teen and we are in our 40s. We've way more money to do it now!

Through establishing work and a house in our 20s it did mean that we were able to start saving etc sooner. It does mean that come 60 work will stop and we will have a good income in our retirement. We will downsize too. We do plan to holiday a lot and hope to spend much of the winter months somewhere warm and sunny!

I do think it makes a difference whether you're single or in an established relationship too. We were together since sixth form so we're moving in and buying a home together not long after finishing university.

So I think it's a matter of enjoying the freedom of working without too many commitments but also planning ahead for the future. You will then be regarded by not having to work til you're near in 70!

I bought a house in my 20 but still partied,made lots of good friends.
Holidays were cheap with a rucksack and youth hostels,some very dodgy low end hotels.In this country wide a bicycle and a tent.
I rented my house out in my late 20s and worked /played for few years in London.
Do everything you want to,it needn't be expensive.I need more comfort on holiday now but feel I saw more of the world when I was young and sleeping under the stars,or on a floor somewhere.

My 20's were about:

Friendships
Establishing a career
Clubbing and getting pissed
Travelling
Buying designer clothes
Going to football matches
Eating breakfast in bed and not getting up until 3pm on a Sunday
Having sex
Going to gigs

I did buy a house when I was 26, but it was a small terrace and I didn't need a huge deposit.

I pretty much carried on doing the same stuff into my early 30's until I had DS at 36.

Few quite years and saving for a bigger house, but DS is now 14 and I am financially comfortable. DS and I have lots of holidays together, but I don't party much or get pissed and don't have sex (lol).

I had a ball in my 20's and 30's and lived life to the full. When DS is 20, I will only be 56, so still young enough to enjoy myself (just in a calmer way than when I was 20).

Mine was mostly spent pregnant. I have no idea what’s normal... travelling I guess? But that’s not really my cup of tea. Do what you like :)

Whatever makes you happy surely? I have no idea whether I should be travelling and going out or saving and attempting to get a house. Bit of both?

TrendyNorthLondonTeen - of course it’s not . You would think it was when you read the posts on here .

fancynancyclancy- if you were in your 20’s now perhaps you’d just have to lower your expectations of what you can afford .

Well I’m a Londoner & think that the average ftb deposit here is now around 100k. I’d be able to afford my mortgage it’s about half what the rent would be I would just struggle to save the deposit.

@ponoka7 I'm sorry you feel age has been so reductive. As a post menopausal woman I feel extraordinarily liberated at 59. Perhaps we have been lucky but our peer group is not beset with health problems and we both still have fit mothers at 82. Mine still wears leather trousers and holidays in Florida.

I never wanted to "rough it" however extraordinary the scenery in my 20s. Although neither dh nor I have ever been particularly heavy drinkers and I can't see the connection between good holidays and alcohol. Both of us would run a mile from a music festival.

Food I agree, I have to be very careful about weight now but energy levels have never been a problem. Things we want to do:

Northern lights
Aus/NZ
Egypt/Israel politics permitting
US more widely
Scandinavia

Can you do a little bit of both?

I'm 27, my partner is 30, and we have quite a small mortgage (we don't live in the UK) which we overpay in the winter mostly. We also own one car, rather new (2017) outright.

We can afford to travel twice a year abroad: a city break + a 10 day holiday and a few weekends away a year. currently we're planning our honeymoon in Bali and I'm saving slowly for it.

Travel is really important to us so we're trying to travel as much as possible until kids show up.

Dc90 - just don’t whinge about not being able to buy a house when you decide you’d like one .
I've over £15k saved up so far so think I'll be ok thanks lmao I earn a good wage and can budget very well!

A real mix

I like holidays but travelling/backpacking doesn’t really appeal. I went on a Europe trip with uni friends after I graduated (so I was 21) and the reality wasn’t what I imagined although I had a blast!

We had to pre book all our trains and hostels rather than just hopping between cities whenever we fancied so it didn’t feel that adventurous . Also everywhere was PACKED with people where as I’d imagined romantic and serene like in an American cheesy film .

I also went to a festival yesterday and got rather drunk, feeling horrific today so I’m 100% not one of those resilient 20 somethings who can function the day after on two hours sleep maybe in my teens!

I can function on 2hrs sleep at 59! Though usually due to a twent something who's out partying! I think having dc trains you. And although my posts make me feel like a boring fart I remember wonderful nights in my 20s, eating hot dogs sitting on the bridge from the van the cabbies used by Albert Bridge after an arrmy ball or three. Soaking up the alcohol, getting in at 6 havinv watched the sun rise, showering, putting on a smart suit and getting to work bright eyed with happiness at 7.45am

I’m shuddering at the thought of having to go into work with a hangover and after 2 hrs sleep!

I don’t think any amount of coffee or fry ups could make it bearable - I’m obviously old before my time!

Mine have been for making mistakes. I feel more secure in my choices and things I want now at 29 because of it. I wouldn't necessarily wish the process on people but I've had fun, too. Looking forward to my 30s though, actually!