To ask what you think your twenties are for?

[tequilasunrises]

Just curious. DH and I are in our twenties, we’ve managed to clamber onto the property ladder with a horrifically expensive two bed terrace but naturally now have a rather large mortgage.

Both our families our keen travellers and big holidays every year (India, Thailand, Mexico, Maldives, Safari, Bali, Florida etc etc) are just the done thing. We’ve been on a few big ones the last couple of years and I’ve loved it.

Now I’m starting to think of everything in terms of the mortgage! Eg spending 2k on a holiday vs overpaying 2k on the mortgage, the mortgage seems sensible to me!

Family thinks we should be making the most of our frivolous twenties and travelling here there and everywhere.

So I’m asking MNers, what do YOU think your twenties are for?

Why do they need to be for anything?

Get out there and enjoy life. Sure you might pay the mortgage off a bit earlier but the experiences are the things you'll really treasure as you get older. I'm in my 40s now and went out with a group of similar aged women last night where this topic came up. At least three of them said they regretted being too 'sensible' in their teens and twenties. Of course, do what you feel is right for you, but make the most of life in whatever way is most meaningful for you.

I wouldn’t be overpaying my mortgage by the odd 2 grand here and there when I could be using my child-free years to see the world and have amazing experiences.

Looking back, my 20s should've been for - career-building, savings, but also enjoying my youth. As it was, life happened and my career went to shit, I couldn't save due to certain things happening inmy life, and then kids came along in my very late twenties.

I had more energy in my 20s. I was young, and youthful looking and feeling. It's important to save some sensibility - set aside savings etc, but - also, life is short, shit happens - I wish I'd lived a bit more.

For me it was uni, getting married, babies, buying a house and career (not in that order, all intertwined!) I've always been impatient! I'm thoroughly enjoying my 30s, I feel the pressure is off, I'm just enjoying life for what it is, the financial security, my children being a fun age and just having less expectations on us really. I've never really signed up to the idea you do one thing and that stops everything else, DH and I very much still live the lives we want to live, have fun, travel, while still having children.

Your twenties is for the same thing as every other decade, what ever the bloody hell you want 😊

Fun, travel, drinking too much! I'm SO glad I was wild in my twenties! Now I can settle down with my husband and kids in peace and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything as I've done it all before!

Personally making sure my birth control didn’t fail and travelling working and partying my way round the world as much as time and finances would allow!

I had my 3 kids in my 20s (24, 26 then 28) so majority was spent running after toddlers, feeding newborns, crap nights sleep, im now in my 30s with school aged children & have a holiday booked for next year, I wish I'd done more holidays together as a couple before kids came along as holidays aren't very relaxing with small kids in tow!

We got on the property ladder mid-20s and my vvvv sensible dh insisted on overpaying as much as possible. We skipped out on nights out, the majority of jaunts away and had the whole "live your life, see the world!" spiel from our friends.

Now? We're 33, mortgage is almost fully paid off (5 years and we'll be golden... possibly sooner) and our friends are moaning they can't afford to buy, never will get on the ladder and we'll be freeing up about £14k minimum per year in the next few years. We'll be travelling for sure, but def in style

Surely, it's just about balance and living your life in a way that is meaningful to you and gives you the level of security you need.

You don't know what the future will bring, or if you will have a future, so just find a way to live your life in a way where you could have some peace with the way you've lived if it ended tomorrow.

Don't live today on the basis of a bunch of things you'd like to do that you are deferring off into the future. Bring some of those things into your everyday. They don't have to be big things, like extravagant holidays, they can be small moments that are precious to you.

You may not live long enough to have a retirement, don't save up the best of your hopes and dreams for a retirement you may never have!

I've known people that happened to who found themselves facing terminal illness on the cusp of retirement or a decade or so before, and the distress it caused them and those around them that they'd postponed so many of their hopes and dreams about simple pleasures in life not even just the big stuff like travelling is still painful to recall.

But equally, five or ten years down the line you could develop a disability or life limiting or life changing health condition that would mean that having built yourself more security now would make life much easier and leave space for you to find ways to enjoy your changed life, eg if your ability to work was reduced or eliminated.

Find some balance between enjoying the life you have now day to day, and preparing yourself for the life you'd like to have in the future without treating it as guaranteed.

I had my first mortgage at 21 and worked very hard, 70 hours a week, and was frugal through my twenties,..... but at that age it is possible to work hard and save and have fun.
I always wanted to travel and due to the first morgage being started so early l went on a 6 month round the world trip at 28, (renting the flat out)
IMO( looking from the age of 50) there is nothing more important than securing the roof over your head as early as possible , and particularly before dcs.
Achieving financial security gets much, much harder as you get older, and ones energy drops too.
Find a balance between overpaying and doing the trips you really want.

For me it's been about establishing some security and sense of stability. I didn't have a good childhood so for me, having a happy relationship, a dog, a mortgage, starting a career and improving my mental health has been exactly what I needed. I never felt that urge to travel and explore and I suspect it's because I never had the secure foundations to be able to jump off from.

I worked hard by played harder.
I did buy my 1st house at 22 but it wasn't a massive mortgage so I could do both.

Your 20s are for whatever you want them to be for, I suppose same as any age. If you are happy then that's all that matters

Got the mortgage but didn’t get kids so we worked hard and had money to play hard. I’ve no regrets

Whatever you want them to be for! I did my partying in my teens. My twenties were spent on career, marriage, having DS and buying a house. Now I am 30 and very happy with my life and intend to have a quiet couple of decades and then do serious travelling once DS is an adult and I'm only 45 :)

My mother always said work hard, play hard, rest hard.

My grandmas said: spend some, save some, fritter some but never fritter more than than half of what you save.

What really pissed me off were all the people in my 30s who said you are so privileged and don't realise how lucky you are to be able to give up wprk and have a lovely house. I really wanted to say no, when you were telling me I was stupid to work 12 hour days and should be having a year in Oz, like you, and I was boring and would regret it, I was storing equity and saving and building a career so when you got back from Oz in 1989, with herpes and tapeworm, mid recession and couldn't get a job except for precarious temp admin, I being a boring fart, had some substance behind me. The same people had babies at the same time as me, were living in flats and dolls houses and whinging well because they needed the £50 they had left after paying nursery fees.

I wouldn't have minded so much if there'd been less criticism when they were 26 and less whinging and ill feeling when they were 36.

Worked my way around several EU countries, settled in Barcelona, enjoy its riches very much before moving somewhere smaller and settling down.

Never bothered buying a property, quite happy to rent then have the flexibility of moving on if the neighbours are arseholes (has happened twice), or if our family grows. Also means we can seriously consider moving to France if we fancy it... Which we do!

I had a bloody blast in my 20s, fun in my 30s and can still enjoy my 40s with child+dog in different but equally wonderful ways.

The older I have got, the less interested I am in flying off long haul to far away places. I have a friend in Thailand, she sends me fab pictures, I have no wish to visit.

The thing is, Im old enough to have bought a flat for 60k in London in my 20's, and still had the money to travel, party and have a great child free time. I wouldn't have the holidays I had then with kids and I wouldn't want to do them with kids now. I'd be too worried about their safety for a start, and I'd hope they would want to do them without me. But that flat was the starting point of my being on the property ladder. Without it, I'd never have got a big enough deposit together. My DB isn't a big traveller and was quite happy at home.

I don’t think anyone became more interesting by overpaying their mortgage. It is possible to travel to far flung places and do it on a shoestring and still have a great time. You don’t need swanky hotels and expensive restaurants. At the moment You’re able to take advantage of last minute deals and term time rates. Once you have children you can obviously still travel but you get tied to school holidays and everything becomes more expensive and laden with “ stuff”. Those are the times to stick to shorter haul & UK trips. That doesn’t mean you abandon all your financial responsibilities though just don’t get too bogged down I’m being sensible all the time. This is the time of your life when you have the stamina to party and get up and go to work on 2 hours sleep and feel OK. I’m nearly 50, with a young child and although I still party ( and travel) I seriously don’t bounce back quite so readily.

My 20's have been working hard on my career so i hadenough money to buy a house and start our family.

No massive interest 'in travelling the world'. We go on holiday every year and will probably go further a field in our 40's once dd is grown up

28 here, I’ve spent the time with kids who are now 6 and 8 respectively.

I wish I’d travelled more, especially since I have disabilities but that can always come when I have a 20 year old at 39 😂

Mid 20s home owner with mortgage. DP and I are alternating focus each year. So this year, after buying the house, we are blowing off steam from years of strict deposit saving so we'll have a nice holiday (out of season though because we always want value for money) next year we'll focus on over paying the mortgage and then the year after have another big holiday.

On Mumsnet, you should be effortlessly beautiful in your twenties with men desiring you. You should travel. (But mumsnet also dislikes adult children needing money, ho hum.) You should party, Enjoy Your Freedom - and if you DON’T, you’re working class. That’s bad.

I just worked in my 20s. It was fine.

Getting married and having a child in my case!