To ask what you think your twenties are for?

[tequilasunrises]

Just curious. DH and I are in our twenties, we’ve managed to clamber onto the property ladder with a horrifically expensive two bed terrace but naturally now have a rather large mortgage.

Both our families our keen travellers and big holidays every year (India, Thailand, Mexico, Maldives, Safari, Bali, Florida etc etc) are just the done thing. We’ve been on a few big ones the last couple of years and I’ve loved it.

Now I’m starting to think of everything in terms of the mortgage! Eg spending 2k on a holiday vs overpaying 2k on the mortgage, the mortgage seems sensible to me!

Family thinks we should be making the most of our frivolous twenties and travelling here there and everywhere.

So I’m asking MNers, what do YOU think your twenties are for?

They can be for whatever you want them to be, for me though I am glad that I wasn't tied down much. It gave me a chance to do most of the things I wanted to do before being flexible enough to take risks and land my dream career. As long as you guys are happy then that's all that matters, you'll be happier when others are struggling to pay the last of their mortgage off and youve already paid it probably though.

Dc90 - just don’t whinge about not being able to buy a house when you decide you’d like one

To be fair if I was in my 20s now they would be no amount of scrimping & saving that would have enabled me to save the 150k house deposit I would need.

I think your twenties are for experimenting and finding out what you want to do with your life. Travel, take risks with employment, party, explore life. Once you have a mortgage and kids you can't as easily waltz off and take a fun but crazy job or move continent or walk the length of the Great Wall of China. Some people do but most of us just mill about at home and go on holiday for two weeks a year until DC are grown. So make the most of freedom while you are young.

Bought house at 21
Married 22
1st child 23
2nd child 26
Now 33 and able to work 10 hours a week as bought house when prices low, go on 1 holiday a year. Nothing fancy but suits us

Partying till the sun rises, making friends and experiencing wide varieties of people. Travelling to the places I’m not brave enough to risk now post kids. Working like crazy and climbing the ladder as fast as possible?

I'm 43. When I look back over my life I feel that my twenties were fabulous!

We bought our own flat, partied hard, ate out loads at the newest London restaurants. My friends were central to my being, I would never take back those years. Holidays were put on the back burner and we holidayed separately with friends/hen/stag dos etc. We bought our current house at 29 - big mortgage.

I had my first daughter at 31, my 2nd at 35, it was perfect timing for us, I believe we did everything right for us and we are all still happy and comfortable now.

Looking back now my only regret is that we did not travel more. Not to high end places but just anywhere where we don't have to make sure there are kids club/water slides/entertainment etc. When our children are too old to want to come along we will be 63. A bit old to do trekking the Himalayas, slumming it in India etc

Travel. Once you havechildren it's so much harder to find the time and money to do so.

Well done! My dad died In my teens but if he hasn't I think I would've bought in my 20's.
For me it was partying, travelling and exploring. I lived in different cities on different continents and met different people. I have a real restless soul so I couldn't have settled down without this but everyone is different

Mine have been for raising my 2 kids, first at 18 and now I'm nearly 30, but if we atsy in the house we are in and don't have another child, we will be mortgage free by 40 or earlier and the kids will be old enough that we can go travel and do all the things we want to do that you can't do with young kids. If I hadn't had my kidsso young I would like to think I would have used my 20s for partying and traveling and living in different places. That probably wouldn't be the case though as I wasn't very confident or outgoing.

Surely your twenties are for filling in the gap between your teens and your thirties? Isn't that what what most people do?

Partying,travelling while thinking about your career . 30s are for marriage and babies. 40s probably divorce...well that’s according to my experience

"Dc90 - just don’t whinge about not being able to buy a house when you decide you’d like one"

Is owning a pile of bricks the be all and end all?

Your 20s are for whatever you want or whatever life throws st you. Same as any other age. Some people settle down, have kids, some wait, travel, build careers. Some do a combination. There is not right/perfect answer

For living whatever way YOU want to live.

If that’s building up equity in your house and that’s what you want, then good. Do that!

Having fun and deciding what you want to do later!

It should be for hangovers and lie ins. Getting a start on a decent career for the future. Travelling to interesting places.

I settled down early though, house bought at 21, married at 24 and baby at 27, we did a bit of partying and a bit of travelling and jumped into jobs for a wage without thinking long term.

Mine were mortgage at 20, married at 22, babies, babies and more babies. To my kids I would say do what feels right but have fun doing it there is no rush to do the "grown up shit" that's what your 30s and 40s are for. In saying that I have zero regrets about mortgage/kids even if my marriage ended in divorce kids are grown up and still young enough to travel and own my own home ❤️

I had my oldest at 22 so mine was just having 3 kids. I didn't party in my teens either and spent my whole time in my room so kind of feel like I missed out on alot.

For living the dream before you have to do grown up shit!

Once babies come into the mix, lay ins past 7am are the dream!

Enjoy your twenties, create great memories and live for no regrets.

Why is everyone assuming the OP is going to have kids?

I am 38, child free and my thirties have been exactly as my twenties were - going to work, enjoying my hobbies, lots of weekends away, seeing friends, learning new things, staying up late, climbing mountains, running marathons, drinking wine etc etc.

You don't have to live one way at one age, and one at another. Yes, if you have kids your freedom is necessarily curtailed, but you don't have to follow that path.

My twenties involved, practically, trying out a few longish relationships that failed, studying hard at a degree and then an MA and postgrad, learning tonnes from working shitty NMW low status jobs, volunteering and really investing in my social life and friendships, and following what made me happiest (going to see live music) without any restrictions or responsibilities (beyond always paying my own way re rent and bills etc, never lived with family after teens).

It also, looking back, feels like it was a bit of an assault course of challenging life events to conquer and bounce back from, plenty of people have it more difficult than me, but in my twenties I was really unwell with severe chronic pain every day, had numerous surgeries and investigations, lost my beautiful mum to alcoholism at 22, went through painful estrangement from my only sibling and his children (which was permanent), had some shocking and unexpected and very painful breakups, clinical depression and self harm, went bankrupt, almost lost jobs due to my poor health and wasn’t entitled to any benefits, and so forth. It felt like every two years max another life changing tragedy or disaster would come along to be dealt with with a constant background of loss and grief and physical pain.

But I didn’t give up, I kept working as hard as I could, never was out of work, managed to secure a professional career and financial security towards the back end of the decade, met my OH, started saving for a house. I’m 31 now and a new homeowner, recently engaged (planning to get married in a couple of months), pregnant with our first child. Financially I’m secure, I adore my career to bits, the pain is still constant but at least it’s well managed with opiates, I know as much as I will always miss and love my mum I have moved through the grief, and I’ll never be fully over losing my sibling to estrangement but I’m not cut up over it daily either.

Life is good. And if it stops being good that’s fine cos I know I can cope with anything. I feel pretty bulletproof tbh after the last seventeen years of life (shit started in my teens).

I met my DH when I was 22 and got pregnant when I was 30.

My 20s were very much 'work hard, play hard' - long hours at work building my career and studying for a professional qualification, then going out drinking and clubbing every Friday night, lots of travelling too. Bought a place at 28. Great times!

It wasn't what they were for, it was what I could afford. I travel more widely now as I have the money. I holidayed in my 20's but not the globe trotting kids seem to do these days and I had absolutely no interest in backpacking.

@Elzbells 'My friends were central to my being'

Yes! My friends were like my cheerleaders in my 20s, challenging me ro push out of my comfort zone, making me try new things, supporting me through difficult times and celebrating successes. I took it for granted back then. This is the main thing I miss about my twenties. Me and my Dh have friends across the country and abroad who we could visit lots and have weekends away. When babies arrive it is so much harder to maintain friendships and be there for friends. Even if you are childfree ( by choice or not) a huge proportion of your friends will be popping out babies left, right and centre and it completely changes the dynamics. All my close friends in my twenties have either had children or are in the process of trying via ivf.

I find even phoning them hard as my kids are early wakers (4.30amish) so by the time I'm done with their bedtime & getting everything ready for the next day it's 9pm and I'm bloody shattered and ready for bed.

Also although I regret not travelling more, I also worked out pretty quickly, the people that did travell were usually funded by the bank of mum and dad. For me to do the same would mean huge financial sacrifice and debt