To ask what you think your twenties are for?

[tequilasunrises]

Just curious. DH and I are in our twenties, we’ve managed to clamber onto the property ladder with a horrifically expensive two bed terrace but naturally now have a rather large mortgage.

Both our families our keen travellers and big holidays every year (India, Thailand, Mexico, Maldives, Safari, Bali, Florida etc etc) are just the done thing. We’ve been on a few big ones the last couple of years and I’ve loved it.

Now I’m starting to think of everything in terms of the mortgage! Eg spending 2k on a holiday vs overpaying 2k on the mortgage, the mortgage seems sensible to me!

Family thinks we should be making the most of our frivolous twenties and travelling here there and everywhere.

So I’m asking MNers, what do YOU think your twenties are for?

Hi OP

It's not just a question of what your 20s are for. It's also a question of what your 60s are for. Working 5 extra years because you didn't put money away in your 20s, or beginning to cut your hours and enjoy your leisure time. It seems a long way away now but I'm pretty sure I'll want to retire as early as I can! Of course theres a balance and it depends on things like potential for salary increases on the way etc

I spent my 20's getting my prof exams, partying and travelling. I met my husband and we had some amazing times seeing the world and being free and unconstrained by jobs, kids and mortgages. I truly believe in living for the day and as I get older, have less energy and more responsibilities, I treasure that time.

Don't focus on age so much. Your twenties are for doing whatever you want. If overpaying on the mortgage seems like a good idea to you then do it. There's no rule that says once you've hit 30 you can't go to India on holiday.

I know it's cliche but age really is just a number. You have a lot of time left ahead of you, and you can spend it however you want. Maybe you'll keep overpaying your mortgage for the rest of your twenties, and spend your 30s living the good life and travelling the world because you're rolling in extra cash. Or maybe you'll sell your house in 6 months from now and spend the proceeds on an impromptu trip to Antarctica and some really fancy diamond shoes. Who knows? The world is your oyster. Do whatever is right for you at the time

I had my first child at 27. Prior to that, it was work hard/play hard. I worked long hours and was very ambitious, but I travelled as much possible, partied hard 3 or 4 nights a week and spent an eye watering amount of eating out, clothes and make up.

On the downside, I didn’t save a bean in my 20s, had credit card debt and didn’t get a mortgage until I was 30.

On the plus side, I had shit loads of debaucherous fun .

You’ve done really well to get on the property ladder in your 20s. I’d definitely have a bit of fun fur the next few years. You can be sensible Sally in your 30s.

I've always thought big holidays are a waste of time. Maybe because I lived abroad for a number of years. I've always preferred camping or going to Scotland, Wales or Cornwall or hiking on a national park or something.
I went on a couple of big holidays in my twenties and can't remember any of the detail at all. I'm 57 and still have a big mortgage and not enough pension and wish I'd spent more money on both those things.
Do you have to go on a big holiday every year? Wouldn't every other year be more sensible.
But on the other hand fuck it you are only young once.

God having fun. Go on as many holidays as you can and have fun, spend money carelessly without being reckless. Mortgages and responsibilities are for later.

I dread to think how much money dh and I spent on our 20s on meals out, drinks, cars and holidays. Loads, as we were earning good money and had little to no overheads. Sometimes I think we should have invested in a property and would have made a mint when house prices later when through the roof in our city but then we enjoyed ourselves, had great experiences and I wouldn't swop that. Things are very different when you have dcs and your responsibilities are so much more and they are little money pits. Enjoy yourself in your 20s

I think you should be enjoying yourselves, doing what you fancy as far as possible before having children. As long as your bills are covered, why not? You're in a good place right now and, in time, you may not have the same freedom (though will probably be financially better off then, not stretched to the limit),

Twenties are a wonderful time, make the most of them while you can.

Spent my 20s travelling , new experiences , meeting new people. My only concern was having enough money for 3 nights out at the weekend. Blew a fortune and enjoyed every single minute of it. Settled down at 30 mortgage wedding kids all the serious stuff. It's hard when you have kids. I'm often baffled by people who say they have kids in their 20s so they can fo wild again when they are 40. Sure by then kids are heading to college - doubt they will be going on amazing holidays when they are trying to help out university aged kids. Also tomorrow isn't guaranteed- could be dead tomorrow

In my twenties, I'd have had said my focus was on building stability in life. Close to the way Meg Jay discusses - and in some ways it was - but in immigrating, having kids, ill health, and other ways, it seemed in hindsight to have been stability and chaos in equal measure.

While a little more social and financial security would be nice, I'm happy with most of the choices I made in my twenties. My only regrets were putting up with ill health too long because I (and some of the others around me) just viewed the fatigue, pain, and other things as normal for when really busy either with work or play. In my thirties, I'm focusing more on those three things.

I don't really think the 20s are for anything, but like the rest of life, the meaning is in creating meaning and taking on the responsibilities and enjoy the pleasures that gives.

I already have kids but I’m overpaying my mortgage, renovating my house and studying :)

We are in our early 30s with a house and 2 children. We worked and saved reasonably hard in our 20s. We had holidays but short haul and not too expensive. I am content now that we have our lovely house and are in a decent financial position.

Depends on whether or not you plan to have kids. If it’s a definite ‘yes’, then enjoy and make the most of your freedom in your 20s while you can. You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone...

If it’s a definite ‘no’ to kids you can afford to concentrate more on career etc because you will retain your freedom and independence into your 30s and beyond.

For me it's the hard stuff.
Doing my degree, buying a house, having kids, sorting my career. Then I can enjoy life from then on. I don't want to be in my 40's with young kids to worry about.

Mine were for child rearing. Married at 18, bought house at 22, first child at 23, second child at 26. Now approaching 40, mortgage nearly paid off, more money to have adventures, children growing up and wanting to spend less time with us but we are still young enough to do anything we want.
If I had my time again I would do it exactly the same.

Getting married, settling down, starting a family, building a career.

Being an actual grown up.

Sex, drugs and rock n roll!

Honestly?

Learning who you are as an adult, meeting a wide variety of new people, travel (I would definitely recommend living and working abroad for at least 2 years of at all possible, it really makes you take a different perspective on so many things) exploration, education (which does not necessarily mean uni or academic content), trying out as many new experiences as possible, learning how to relax, living in the moment and appreciating that, learning what your priorities are, whats important to you.

I've an 18 year old dd and I'd much rather she were doing all that than tied to either a house or romantic partner.

"Doing things that make you wake up in a cold sweat of embarrassment at 3am when you're in your thirties." I LOVE this - perfectly put!

It's true though that you don't have to be in your 20's to do daring stuff. I was married at 22 (more fool me! But moving on...) divorced by 30's and went back to uni as a single mum. It was an AMAZING experience. Yes it would have been easier without being a skint single mum going through a messy divorce but I am so glad I did it.

At 40...I came out as bisexual! Come from a very conservative, religious background so this was HUGE for me - really wasn't sure how certain people would react, but for the most part it's been a positive experience.

You can do stuff later - but it's generally much harder!

"Taking a few risks" absolutely! And not necessarily "obvious" stuff like bungee jumping, but things like going to concerts you think you'll hate, learning a hobby you think you'll be crap at, trying a job you've never previously heard of...

I love my DS with all my heart but you really don't realise how free you are without kids , so do all the traveling now.

The way I see it when you're on your deathbed you won't be thinking thank goodness I payed off that mortgage a little bit sooner , you'll be thinking wow I really did it all. Seriously, enjoy yourself.

Do what you want! Being financially sound sounds great to me and travelling isn't for everyone.

I would prioritise mortgage AND holidays.

I would fund the holiday by giving up the day-to-day unmemorable stuff like takeaway coffee /overpriced takeaway/expensive brand clothes etc.

Don't forgot your pension.

Many people have frivolous twenties and are still paying for it in their forties.

Choosing a more financially sensible route will benefit you later.

Your twenties are for living your life the way you want to do it. If you aren’t yearning to see the world, there is no sense in doing that just because you feel you should.

Twenties (and before kids) is a great time for shoestring travel adventures.

Eg spontaneous breaks away, wandering the streets of interesting towns and cities, navigating confusing public transport systems, and staying in low budget, cheap hotels in locations chosen due to finding a cheap flight. It's about discovering that the reason the air BnB is so cheap is because it's up 7 flights of stairs with no lift, and laughing about it.
It's about not eating every meal in a nice restaurant, and sometimes making mistakes and winging it.
As opposed to all inclusive lounging on a beach on a holiday where all the thinking is done for you.

That kind of spontaneous low budget holiday is ideal at your age because you have the maturity to judge risks and manage problems (which many younger travellers don't) but you don't have children to worry about.

I'm like you - I do prioritise mortgage etc over expensive holidays.
But travel doesn't have to be expensive when you're young!
It doesn't have to be long haul or involve flying either.

The way I see it when you're on your deathbed you won't be thinking thank goodness I payed off that mortgage a little bit sooner

...and was able to give my children financial security, and pay for their education, take them on holidays. A person might very well think that.

Seriously, enjoy yourself.

Entirely possible to be financially prudent AND enjoy yourself.

Spend it doing what YOU want to do, be it career, paying into the mortgage, traveling, going out and getting shit faced, lying in etc. DH and I were the typical 'have kids in our 30s'.

Physically, I kind of wish I'd had kids a little earlier, maybe late 20's instead of mid 30s. But I'm glad that I had 10 years together with DH just the two of us to do things like travel, go out, put my career first etc. Because everything becomes that bit harder and more expensive with kids in tow.

“The way I see it when you're on your deathbed you won't be thinking thank goodness I payed off that mortgage a little bit sooner , you'll be thinking wow I really did it all. Seriously, enjoy yourself.“

This!