To ask what you think your twenties are for?

[tequilasunrises]

Just curious. DH and I are in our twenties, we’ve managed to clamber onto the property ladder with a horrifically expensive two bed terrace but naturally now have a rather large mortgage.

Both our families our keen travellers and big holidays every year (India, Thailand, Mexico, Maldives, Safari, Bali, Florida etc etc) are just the done thing. We’ve been on a few big ones the last couple of years and I’ve loved it.

Now I’m starting to think of everything in terms of the mortgage! Eg spending 2k on a holiday vs overpaying 2k on the mortgage, the mortgage seems sensible to me!

Family thinks we should be making the most of our frivolous twenties and travelling here there and everywhere.

So I’m asking MNers, what do YOU think your twenties are for?

It's all about balance. You've got a mortgage which is great. Don't obsess about overpaying on it to the detriment of actually living your life. Yes, you'll be paying less interest overall, but inflation means that in 25 years that money you've saved will be worth less (in general, and also to you in particular assuming your pay increases as you progress in your career).

But just as importantly, one of you could get run over by a bus tomorrow. If I outlive DH I think I'd rather be left with lots of lovely memories of our lives together than having knocked a couple of years off the mortgage.

I think that it’s stupid to waste the time in your life when you are healthiest and most energetic (making a generalisation here) on frivolities. I’m not saying you shouldn’t travel-but have a good hard think about the opportunity cost of traveling. Some people get a lot out of traveling. Others don’t. It depends on the individual. In your position I would focus on building assets-instead of spending money on a mortgage or on holidays I would spend it on a well managed investment portfolio. Time is the most valuable thing you have-and you can turn it in to money if you are willing to exercise some patience.

I used my twenties to buy a house, earn as much as possible and have children. In my forties now, house paid off and enjoying travelling

Threads like this often make me wonder if live in a parallel dimension.

I always wonder about all that stuff about creating lovely memories through travel....

Can't we just create lovely memories where we live?

Ok, so.it isn't instaworthy to walk down the river yet again with DH, or to hang out with the same old friends yet again

Yet those are my good memories

Travelling really isn’t the be all . It’s the same shit in a different place . If you’re always looking forward to your next trip how will you ever be content with your life at home?
As you’ve bought your house already and have a huge mortgage I’d compromise . One holiday a year and pay off as much as you can .
I spent my early twenties studying ,by mid twenties I was working in my chosen career and had met my now dh . Then I started to save to build a house . If you want children in the future then I’d be aiming to pay as much off the mortgage as possible . Children really can mess it all up , in the nicest way .

And also listen to what Boggles says . Your house is a huge liability. Try to focus on building assets and get your money to work for you .

@Purpletigers I agree. People constantly go on about travelling but not everyone wants to do that. Some people are home bodies with no desire to eat street food in Thailand etc.

I'm 29 and have spent my twenties partying, clubbing holidays, having fun with friends, falling madly in love and having my heart broken twice as well as working hard at a career only to decide at 25 to retrain in a different field. I'm now focusing on me as an individual and for the first time discovering what I like to do that's not going along with friends or boyfriends. Ive also booked a few weeks off work to travel around europe before starting a doctorate next year. I think your 20s is about finding yourself and having as many experiences as possible.

And then when they’ve spent the best part of a decade spending money on enjoying life and travelling they discover “
Oh shit I’ll never be able to buy a house , how could I possibly save 20k ?”
Well no shit Sherlock ! Sure think of the memories cause they’ll keep you warm at night .

Op go for a balance. While many will say “ well you could die tomorrow , live for today blah blah blah “ . Let’s face it the chances are you won’t actually die tomorrow and the future can be fecking long and painful if you don’t have any security.

Dc90 - just don’t whinge about not being able to buy a house when you decide you’d like one .

Can you rent out your house to overpay the mortgage? Then go travel the world? If that's what you want to do?

They're for whatever suits you best. There are advantages and disadvantages to all choices, and you can't have everything at once. A choice can be a good choice and simultaneously also stop you from making other good choices.

So it's good to be financially sensible in your 20s, save and invest and overpay as much as possible, because it will set you up well for later. But it does mean you can't spend that money on fun.

It's good to take every opportunity to have fun and travel in your 20s, because you never know what the future might hold or whether you'll get the opportunity again, but it does mean it might be harder to financially establish yourself than it would've been had you saved more.

It's good to meet a life partner in your 20s because you can grow up together and there's usually a greater choice as fewer people are taken. But it does mean you don't get to enjoy sowing your wild oats and you may limit your choices if you're tied down early.

It's a good idea to have your children in your 20s because it's when you're at your most fertile and statistically less likely to have complications than later. But it does mean you won't be on the razz or travelling as much.

It's good to leave your children until later so you can enjoy being unencumbered and do everything you want to do, but it does mean you might have less energy and be more likely to have complications than later on.

The key is to work out what you think will make you happiest and improve your life the most. Not easy and involves gambling.

@Goforitgirl I hate the cliche that we're all supposed to back pack around Asia, honestly couldn't think of anything worse. I LOVE holidays, and seeing new places, but basically obsessed with North America, so we just try and holiday as much as we can which is getting more frequent as we get older but is really only 1-2 times a year due to finances and annual leave allowances, but it's a balance that works for us. I'm sure some people would think it's not as "worldly" but you have to live for yourself!

Depends what you want to do / experience and your attitude to risk.

If for example you want DC it’s sensible IMO to work on your career / earnings and financial position to enable that.

We prioritised housing and working hard for promotion in our late twenties - with holidays, but not as far/fancy as your example - so earned enough so that we could pay for childcare and other costs of DC, and both continue to work.

We didn’t overpay on the mortgage though.

God I really miss my 20s. So much fun. Worked hard, played hard. Constant merry go round of partying, clubbing, going out with friends, impromptu city breaks, festivals and holidays. Lots of love & laughter. Saved to go travelling then spent 2 years backpacking around the world with DP. Best thing I've ever done. So glad I had no responsibilities then. Once those years are gone you can't get them back. Trying to recreate those times in later life is just not comparable. I still enjoy travelling but its a completely different experience and Im glad I did it when I was young.

Spent my 20s working hard, saving money but also travelling (on the cheap) and getting more comfortable with myself. Not as wild as some but am now happily established in my mid-30s: bought a place in central London at 30, my salary has now passed the six-figure mark, I have a new marriage and plan to remain happily child free forever, and also looking to move to a bigger place in central London.

So far, I think I have achieved the right balance for me: no, I didn’t take a year out of work to travel around India, nor did I spend too many weekends in my 20s partying away. I now have the disposable income to go skydiving/hiking in jungles/sailing whenever I want to, within reason. And I know that is (mostly because I am lucky but also) because I knuckled down and did the “sensible stuff” in my 20s so don’t lose heart!

NB I think a significant factor in this is that we have decided we don’t want any children. Otherwise our disposable income would be going elsewhere and we might be slightly more constrained in terms of travel plans.

Well it’s all relative I think. I am early 40’s and I don’t know anyone who is still with the same person they were with (marriage or otherwise) in their 20’s. Some of my friends are in fact on second and third marriages now.

I didn’t meet my husband until mid thirties, children came 4 years later. The right time for me. We wouldn’t have been compatible when I was in my twenties, I was too much of a party girl

And then when they’ve spent the best part of a decade spending money on enjoying life and travelling they discover Oh shit I’ll never be able to buy a house , how could I possibly save 20k

Or, like most people, including me, you get back from travelling, start working again and save for a deposit. We were both working in decent jobs and this wasn't a problem. Bought our first house when we were 29.

And actually I would rather have had the experiences I had travelling and live in rented accommodation than have been stuck saving every penny and overpaying my mortgage. Sounds really dismal.

Reminds me of my mums manager. Never went out, saved every penny he could, ploughed it all into pensions. Big plan was for him and his wife to retire early and travel. Except she died before they could do it and he was left wondering what it had all been for. Still feel so sad for him.

God, I can't imagine being married with a mortgage in my 20s. The very idea chills me to the bone.

Like a lot of previous posters, I spent most of my 20s travelling, falling in lust/love, building my career and developing my interests, and generally having fun.

I did marriage, kids and mortgage in my 30s, and now I'm my 40s I have a bit more time again for career, interests and fun.

I wouldn't have given up my carefree 20s for anything.

Everyone is different. I know people who had kids really young and like to say about how great it is they have their social life back at late thirties/forties now their kids are older/ more independent. Which is fine I guess but you are then so much older than everyone else when you go out 😂

What your first responder said, partying, travelling and having fun. Also working hard and climbing the greasy career pole. I loved my 20s. Sigh.

There's a balance. I knew people who just "had fun" in their twenties then had a meltdown in their early thirties because they realised a) they hadn't settled with a partner & biological clock was ticking b) they were stuck wanting to try & buy a property/achieve financial goals etc, but wanted to have kids, which can mess up financials. Having kids won't wait forever and it's much easier to get yourself stable financially without them than it is with.

That said, your twenties are a great opportunity to travel but you can do it & still consider what's affordable. The Maldives for example are simply very expensive but not really unique, it's the luxury end of a secluded beach holiday and you can enjoy a fabulous one for less elsewhere. You can do Thailand, India etc on a budget and cam save on other holidays by planning to go in cheaper seasons etc.

But tbh OP it's your choice whether you want to prioritise financial stability or travel/fun. Unless you are loaded you can't have your cake & eat it too, do what matters to you.

I think your twenties are for doing whatever you want to do. I’ll be a mum throughout all my twenties and I’m okay with that, by the time I’m in my mid 30s my DS will be all grown up and I’ll be young enough to still live my life and that’s what I’m happy with. Whereas some of my friends want their twenties to be their partying years. Do whatever makes you happy.

God I loved my 20s particularly 25+ when you’ve got the degree, some experience & the disposable income to shop, eat out, party, weekends away with friends, etc. I think it also depends on what your friends are doing, we were all very similar so never short of a opportunity to party. If I had kids in my early 20s & wanted to party in my 40s I wouldn’t have anyone to party with! We are all in our mid/late 30s now & even when I have the opportunity I can not tolerate drink, hangovers, no sleep like I used too. I also did quite a bit of travelling & am now enjoying getting to know the UK better with small kids as travelling with them is a faff. Even when I’ve been on holiday without them they are still on your mind.
I think it’s prudent to be a little bit sensible but not worth depriving yourself of too much.