To think I've got the most batshit neighbours?

[MrsGaryLightbody]

I'm gobsmacked...

History of next door is one letter through my door a month or so ago to ask if I would trim my rose bush in back garden as it's grown 8.5 inches above the fence and they can now see it. It's a five foot fence. but I did new ( me) neighbourly thing and trimmed it.

This morning there's a note through door again from them , letting me know that they are going to contact the RSPSA and dog warden ( is there such a thing) and report me . A list of complaints were then listed .
These include, letting puppy howl all night, leaving pup alone all day to howl. Letting pup wee against same place on fence , which apparently seeps through and is damaging their vegetables. They are fed up with me shouting at puppy. They don't like the name I've chosen.
They then go on to say they apologise for not stopping to give me a lift ( rural bus service) but they saw I had pup in my bag and didn't want it in their car. But they will be writing a stern letter to the bus company to complain that people shouldn't be allowed on buses with dogs as it's a health hazard.

I'm not sure whether to reply by writing ... or just shout through the letter box that I don't have a ducking dog!! I never have and I don't have any pets. The neighbours either side of me and them have cats. They have cats.

Just what I need ! Should I ignore?

Write back apologising. Ask for suggestions for acceptable names.

Go knock op. Call them out on it in a non pa way. Or it will fester on their part. They sound unhinged!!
Then they will keep out of your way through sheer embarrassment hopefully.

@UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername lol yes I had thought of that but don't want to stoop to their level of battiness!

Weird thing that apart from asking me to trim my rose bush they've been very nice, as in hello.. nice weather etc

Knock on their door, all confused, and ask if they meant to stick the note through your door, since you don't even own a dog.

Agree with the above, write and in the spirit of being neighbourly allow them to give your invisible puppy a new and less offensive name.

Does the dog bark a fair amount, and is there any damage to the fence? If not I'd be having a chat, and hoping you can help them work out which dog is annoying then, as it can't be yours, yet it's obviously causing them distress......

@Yellowweatherwarning I think they must be a little unhinged as I don't sleep well and would certainly hear a dog .. I can't think why they believe they hear these noises and it's coming from my house... plus the pup in a bag thing is totally

Batshit 🤣
The temptation to write back that in response to their request puppy’s name has been changed to [insert their name]

Probably best to just rise above though 😂

This is funny and sad all at once! I’d knock too and say ‘I think you posted this to the wrong house, as I don’t have a dog?’, hand back the letter and leave it there. They do sound like they are a bit nuts, are they very elderly? is it them that needs some sort of intervention? Horrible for you but two people with dementia at home could be very dangerous.

@SD1978 are you my neighbour ?

Crap- just saw the absolute end- what an arse (me) how the feck do they think you've got a dog? Is there a barky one near by?

Buy one of these to show the RPSCA and dog warden?

@MrsGaryLightbody- juts fecked up the reading of the post- something I (mentally) berate others for......sorry!!!

You should get a lead and knock into them holding the lead as if you were walking a dog and apologise to them for your nuisance dog, and ask them if they would like to pet your dog, tell them your dog is really friendly and they can be assured he will only be allowed to bark and howl during day time hours and that you are currently potty training him.

@zzzzzzzz12345 they are younger than me , poss mid 40s ...

@SD1978 'tis ok

This is just bizarre.

I’d be getting a toy dog to put in my bag... just for when they’re around, and then ask if they’d forgotten to take their medication this week...

Thanks all .. am having a crappy time in life generally and you've made me smile with your your solutions !

I'm going to have to go round at some point today.. I hate confrontation but I won't be accused of something I most certainly have not done.

I think you should definitely knock and speak to them. They sound bonkers.

Go over, tell them you have no dog

How weird. Just knock and tell them you don’t have a dog. I must admit I find it funny.
Ask another neighbour see what they say.
Maybe they can shed some light.
Intriguing though.

Just put a note back saying 'think you sent this to the wrong house. I dont have a puppy or any other pets.

To be fair, I dont think they are THE most batshit neighbours.

Theres a poster here that makes unexpected visitors sit on the drive and dug up a plant she gave her neighbour over some perceived offence.

Does a house that backs on to theirs have a dog? I'd just assume that they'd put the letter through the wrong letterbox. If you can't hear a dog it doesn't mean that there isn't one somewhere, are they at home all day when you are out, and the bit about 'howling all night' is hyperbole?

Either that or maybe one is a bit...potty, and the other has entered a folie a deux situation...

The rose trimming is reasonable though, especially if it's a thorny bugger.

I wouldn't bother being neighbourly. My neighbours are batshit and me responding to their demands increased the demands
It was only when I just stopped talking to them that my life improved
It is bliss now