To think I've got the most batshit neighbours?

[MrsGaryLightbody]

I'm gobsmacked...

History of next door is one letter through my door a month or so ago to ask if I would trim my rose bush in back garden as it's grown 8.5 inches above the fence and they can now see it. It's a five foot fence. but I did new ( me) neighbourly thing and trimmed it.

This morning there's a note through door again from them , letting me know that they are going to contact the RSPSA and dog warden ( is there such a thing) and report me . A list of complaints were then listed .
These include, letting puppy howl all night, leaving pup alone all day to howl. Letting pup wee against same place on fence , which apparently seeps through and is damaging their vegetables. They are fed up with me shouting at puppy. They don't like the name I've chosen.
They then go on to say they apologise for not stopping to give me a lift ( rural bus service) but they saw I had pup in my bag and didn't want it in their car. But they will be writing a stern letter to the bus company to complain that people shouldn't be allowed on buses with dogs as it's a health hazard.

I'm not sure whether to reply by writing ... or just shout through the letter box that I don't have a ducking dog!! I never have and I don't have any pets. The neighbours either side of me and them have cats. They have cats.

Just what I need ! Should I ignore?

Is anyone else wondering if the dog's name is 'Kuntz'?

could you plant some sunflowers

Or dogwood.........

Desperate to find out invisible pup's name now!

This is absolutely fantastic. I can lend you my dogs just to fuck with them?!

Shamelessly following

Here are my suggestions -

1 - One of them is trying to poison the vegetables (hates vegetables) and is blaming it on your “dog”,
2 - they have shared auditory hallucinations from inhaling carbon monoxide or living on a seam of oil/natural gas and being slowly poisoned,
3 - they are trying to very slowly send you mad (in the manner of Gaslight film) so that they can buy your house,
4 - one of them is gaslighting the other, and blaming everything on you.

I am trying very hard to ignore the fact that their first move was to ask you to trim your bush.

I can't wait to find out the end to this story 😁😁

Yes, you’ve got batshit neighbours. I visited a friend this week, we had a cup of tea in their garden. It was so lovely, and it made me realise how stressful my neighbours are and how much I put up with.
Don’t let it get to you, invite them round maybe, if you feel able to? Show them the lack of puppy!

How odd! Would love to know what the objectionable name is...

I can't even begin to place bets in what the response is going to be here.

Either a) total mix up. Wasn't them. Or b) It was them. They are utterly barking and there is no explanation for their batshitcraziness

Apologies for bookmarking - I really want to know what happens here!

Have you been watching "It's me or the dog" with the volume up loud?
Perhaps you bark in your sleep.
I honestly can't think of a non silly reason.

This is hilarious and I don’t know how you’re managing to get ready first because I’d be straight round to correct then on this, I wouldn’t be able to help myself!!

Its badgers, it's always badgers.

Our batshit neighbour confronted me (during a coffee morning for my friends to meet new 6 week old DS) to accuse me and DH of keeping her up all night with our noisy sex.

It was badgers.
They are hooligans.

I would let them contact the RSPCA, and when (if) they knock, have a soft toy dog on the sofa and ask if the neighbors would like to see it
But I'm a sarcastic cow

Our batshit neighbour confronted me (during a coffee morning for my friends to meet new 6 week old DS) to accuse me and DH of keeping her up all night with our noisy sex.

Hahaha! Was she scundered when you pointed that out?

FFS OP! Hurry up, just give your pits a quick wipe and get over there. I’ve six REAL dogs waiting for a walk!

This made me smile :) hope you're not stressed by it though.
I would frame the letter and hang it in my toilet (but only if I knew the neighbour wouldn't ever see it).

Serin "Its badgers, it's always badgers."

I've never seen a badger IRL, I feel cheated.

The kid in me would buy one of them little battery operated dogs that this ( skip to 2.45 to see demo ) and play with it in the garden ,

The ( seldom seen ) adult in me would go and talk to them and explain you don't have a dog it must be someone else's they can hear.

I would start keeping a diary of their complaints as it sounds like they will invent other issues.

What the hell did you have in your bag that they mistook for a dog??

Can’t wait for the update. Definitely need to know the offending name

Perhaps you do have a dog but you have some kind of dog blindness or you keep forgetting you have one.

Maybe they think it’s a little black dog and youve called it by the name of the dog in the Dambusters film