To think I've got the most batshit neighbours?

[MrsGaryLightbody]

I'm gobsmacked...

History of next door is one letter through my door a month or so ago to ask if I would trim my rose bush in back garden as it's grown 8.5 inches above the fence and they can now see it. It's a five foot fence. but I did new ( me) neighbourly thing and trimmed it.

This morning there's a note through door again from them , letting me know that they are going to contact the RSPSA and dog warden ( is there such a thing) and report me . A list of complaints were then listed .
These include, letting puppy howl all night, leaving pup alone all day to howl. Letting pup wee against same place on fence , which apparently seeps through and is damaging their vegetables. They are fed up with me shouting at puppy. They don't like the name I've chosen.
They then go on to say they apologise for not stopping to give me a lift ( rural bus service) but they saw I had pup in my bag and didn't want it in their car. But they will be writing a stern letter to the bus company to complain that people shouldn't be allowed on buses with dogs as it's a health hazard.

I'm not sure whether to reply by writing ... or just shout through the letter box that I don't have a ducking dog!! I never have and I don't have any pets. The neighbours either side of me and them have cats. They have cats.

Just what I need ! Should I ignore?

I’d be getting a toy dog to put in my bag... just for when they’re around, and then ask if they’d forgotten to take their medication this week...

Definitely do this though

What do they think the dog’s name is?

Because I'm not a nice person- I'd probably spend a fair bit of time shouting out said name, frequently in the backgarden. Would amuse me. alternatively I'd be an adult and tell them they were nuts- would depend which one made me feel better.

I was going to suggest you start carrying around an obviously toy dog.

This is hilarious. Poor you OP!

Lol yes definitely knock on and say have you put this through the wrong door as I don't have a dog .
Please do this and let us know .

There's only four cottages in a row , v rural . I'm home practically 24/7 apart from a bus into town ( with dog in bag) once a week.
They both seem to work 9-5.
I had thought maybe they are hearing animals outside in the fields but that doesn't explain me not hearing it or them hearing me shout at dog or call it's name ..

I wouldn't go

if the dog warden arrives you just explain to them that you don't have a dog.

I’d drop them a quick note saying “sorry something is upsetting you but you’re confused - I don’t own a dog.”

I read your OP thinking "Well they're being completely reasonable about complaining, howling all night and all day? Unacceptable!" And then I got to the part where you said you don't have a dog

Do they have a dog and forgot about it? Is it howling in their house?

I would put a note through their door explaining that you dont have a dog and include a leaflet from the hearing voices (barking) network

Perhaps it’s a ghost dog!
But they can’t both be having the same auditory hallucinations.

I am now embarrassingly over invested in this and want you to go over there immediately

Just out of interest did they say what the imaginary dog's name was that was so objectionable?

I'm going to speak to other neighbour and see if there's an ongoing issue.. I'll be diplomatic ( not my best strength) as I'm the newbie.

I'll report back ... thank you for all the smiles ! Much needed.

This is brilliant. Go round and introduce your puppy to them. Pretend you have something under your arm and see how long it takes them ...

This is going to be one of those threads that I need a conclusion to, so OP, over to you!

They do sound batshit. Remember they are not just writing to you but going to lambast the bus company for allowing dogs (in bags[ to travel.
What are the other neighbours like?
Is there a yowly dog somewhere?

I definitely wouldn't put a note through the door, I'd want to see their reaction when told you don't have a dog.

They didn't mention what name is most objectionable... but it's on my list to ask as I can't imagine what dogs name would be upsetting!

To be fair, I dont think they are THE most batshit neighbours. Theres a poster here that makes unexpected visitors sit on the drive and dug up a plant she gave her neighbour over some perceived offence.

And they compete with the neighbour who goes into major hysteria if people won't move their cars to prevent her immediate neighbours from parking outside their house ...

I think that your batshit neighbour probably isn't the one you think. Is one of the other neighbours trying to stir things? It might be aimed at the neighbours you think the letter came from. They are probably missing the rose bush!

I'll report back ... thank you for all the smiles ! Much needed.

Soon please, MrsGaryLightbody. I am desperate to know what happens [embarassed]

I will definitely report back.. but need to get ready first as am doing a great impression of crusty the clown at the moment

Maybe they have a really weird sense of humour, it’s just so odd!