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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop pandering to neighbours parking requests..

238 replies

Panda368 · 19/07/2019 16:24

This might be a bit confusing but will try and make it as clear as possible. We are on a terraced street with street parking - no allotted spaces or anything - you get what is available at the time.

Neighbour (lets call her Anne lives next door but one) has a problem with our mutual neighbour (lets call her Clare) who has been doing up her house for a while, she has a particular problem with how Clare parks her car.

Anne thinks Clare parks too close behind her car (usually there is several feet between bumpers). Anne has taken to asking me and my partner when we have parked our cars to move up or down essentially trying to make us park in such a way that it prevents Clare parking infront of her own house.

We find this a bit weird and increasingly annoying as the last thing you want to do when you get in from work and park is then go and re-park. We also think Clare should be able to park in-front of her own house.

When we have pushed back and politely told Anne we are too busy/will move car later Anne has become arsey and accused us of 'making her ill' and repeatedly says the whole parking problem is giving her anxiety, shes on medication, her blood pressure is really high etc etc

Anne had a go at me last week about moving the car and complaining to me about my boyfriend having to be reminded weekly to park in the certain way she likes it - I was clearly about to leave in his car had baby in the back and was dashing in for something I'd forgotten when she caught me so I was quite short with her about already being late and still got an earful about her blood-pressure.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to play Annes parking games even if it causes her anxiety? Is pandering to her parking 'issue' ultimately making her anxiety worse? We don't want to be sucked into her one sided parking feud with Clare who is very normal and not arsed.

How do I say no next time?

OP posts:
Custardo · 20/07/2019 00:16

i dont know why i read thi thread but now i am hooked. i think you id the right thing btw.

EL8888 · 20/07/2019 00:22

Anne is controlling and manipulative. The "being ill" is just her way of guilting you. I'd point blank refuse to get involved again. I live on a similar road and it’s survival of the fittest with parking l am afraid

notapizzaeater · 20/07/2019 00:44

I'd also tell her to jog on. She sounds mad.

PristineCondition · 20/07/2019 07:05

fucking mental. Wonder what Clare did to earn all this

PerkyPomPoms · 20/07/2019 07:18

Did you sneak out in the dark and roll forward? Grin

owlonabike · 20/07/2019 07:22

I tend to be on the sympathetic, go for a quiet life side (shading into doormat territory) but even I would have lost patience with Anne by now. Point out that if she carries on harassing you, it will have to be reported officially and will thus have to be declared as a neighbour dispute to any prospective buyer of her house.
Only do this if you’re not planning on selling before her, otherwise she may report it to your prospective buyer!

username678889 · 20/07/2019 07:51

@Missangrypants I don't think there is anything wrong with you doing that are you are right to be annoyed. I think it's the harassment of Anne demanding that people move cars and if they refuse claiming she's ill etc .
I think most people irritated regarding parking as the fact is most streets not built for cars as mine isn't . Most people are considerate others are not but unless I can't get out I wouldn't dream of demanding someone moved their car .

Dexterslockedintheshedagain · 20/07/2019 08:21

@Missangrypants I hear ya, sister!
I too live on a road of terraced houses, but generally everyone is very considerate. I'm lucky.
The only pain is one of our neighbours drives a big 4x4, and insists on parking about 3ft away from the kerb, reducing the available road space! No idea why.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/07/2019 08:54

Did you sneak out and push your car forward a bit?

Panda368 · 20/07/2019 09:17

Boyfriend went out at 3am (we had a very bad night of teething and snotfest with baby)

He released the handbrake and rolled the car forward, looked up and realised the lights were on in her bedroom window.. so not sure if she watched this happening and was waiting up watching the street like some kind of serial killer or not

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 20/07/2019 09:22

You'll be the target now as he's been told not to speak to her. Plus he stood up to her and she won't want to deal with that. Be prepared. I would now just keep repeating 'Stop harassing me for perfectly legal parking or I will report you to the police'.

WeLoveToBoogieOnASaturdayNight · 20/07/2019 09:52

Actually, it's easier to see outside with the room lights off,
rather than with them on - so you may be safe.
Unless she went to another window in a darkened room...

Panda368 · 20/07/2019 10:09

I was thinking if she had been watching him he would have seen her watching him. I think she must have just left the lights on.

We will have to see if she escalates or goes away. I doubt she would damage the car but she has been known to "rehome" unknown cats found in the street and gets the cat snatcher from the local sanctuary round occasionally. So fingers crossed she isn't nuts enough to attempt anything like that when ours next goes round to hers..

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 20/07/2019 11:01

I'd hope that Anne wasn't staying up all night just to see if your DP moved the car. If she was then she has serious issues.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/07/2019 11:49

"she has been known to "rehome" unknown cats found in the street and gets the cat snatcher from the local sanctuary round occasionally"
Make sure you have your cat microchipped.

ScaryBunnyPainting · 20/07/2019 17:04

This is fascinating.
We have a neighbour who runs out the second the space in front of his house becomes available and moves his car but parks it in such a way that two other houses can’t get parked. He also parks his van over our side drive Hmm

sunshine11 · 20/07/2019 17:45

Shamelessly place marking

Motherofasleepaphobe · 20/07/2019 18:03

She’s clearly batshit, I would just tell her no and if she starts moaning simply close your front door 🤷🏻‍♀️

Plus if I was Clare I’d be getting highly pissed off if I couldn’t park outside my house every night simply because the neighbours (seemingly) can’t bloody park properly - Anne is making so it looks like you and your bf are parking like dicks making you move to block Clare (so the come back isn’t going to be on her)

Motherofasleepaphobe · 20/07/2019 18:10

Just read your updates Panda she is absolutely MENTAL!
I’d suggest threatening to ring the police (I know you likely wouldn’t but still threaten) if she does not stop harassing you, posting offensive notes and hounding you both day and night
Let someone else deal with the crazy next time.. Hope you have a better night with the baby xX

Trudij123 · 20/07/2019 18:27

Wow.

Fowles94 · 20/07/2019 18:38

Solution is park outside Anne's house just to wind her up 😂

Tinkerbelle57 · 20/07/2019 19:06

How is how neighbours park their cars making her ill ???
Has Clare or anyone hit her car???
The sooner she moves the better , hopefully into a gated property with a drive !!!!
Has anyone told her IT’S NOT HER ROAD EXCLUSIVELY!!!!
Just tell her to get on with it, stupid woman!
What sort of age is she? Is she elderly?

Riv · 20/07/2019 19:14

Don’t think anyone has suggested the Mumsnet standard yet so just gotta do it!
Anne “blah blah ...move your car blah making me il....”
Panda “ no, that doesn’t work for me “
Anne “blah worry, anxiety, move car”
Panda “ that doesn’t work for me “
Rinse, repeat.
And remember “no” is a complete sentence!!

Doctorwhosit · 20/07/2019 19:18

It might seem kind to humour her, but really she needs to know what’s reasonable and what’s not. ‘I’m sorry, Anne. I’ve thought about this, but I feel you’re being unreasonable. Street parking is something you really can’t control and I’m afraid you’re now making me feel stressed myself. I don’t want to discuss how I park my car again and we won’t be re-parking anymore. Sorry, love. It’s just not on.’’

vintanner · 20/07/2019 20:40

If Anne is so ill maybe she shouldn't be driving a car in the first place, so tell her to sell her car and the parking problems would be over......

Seriously, tell her to speak to the neighbour who is causing all the upset, not you, and that is the last you want to hear about it.

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