Aibu to not give this child a lift?

[ByeByeBike]

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

I think lulu is the mum.

Maybe shes just jealous op is going on holiday.god forbid people have to sort their own kids out occasionally

Maybe shes just jealous op is going on holiday

That’s not really believable given the OP is going camping

The OP is wanting g to out her own family first on ONE Sunday
To those saying to take the child...I guess you're also the sort or who tell her to go and fetch this kid even if her own child wasnt going due to illness.

I'm the sort of person who will offer lifts and yes, I do often go out of my way to help people, but people like this are why I dont like entering into regular arrangements.

We don’t know his mums circumstances. Just drop the boy at his nans

Well yes we do as op has explained they are not poor.
Dad drives, gran drives so why is it ops respponsibility to get this kid to somewhere then drive 20 minutes the wrong way to drop him off somewhere when she should be off on the family holiday by then?
20 minutes could easily stretch to 30 or 40 depending on traffic one way.

Mum has had free taxis for 6 months surely for once she could put her child first and get her finger out and go with him?

Sounds like Nan drives to me, and could collect him surely. How will you fit him in with all the luggage?!

Why is it such an issue to take him? 20 minutes out added to your journey will not hurt.I assume that maybe his mum doesn't drive, and if it is a 40 minute journey, that would cost an arm and a leg in a taxi. Where I live it costs £20 for a 7 mile journey that takes 10 minutes.

Why doesn't his gran go to see the award ceremony and take him home?

It sounds like you have gone above and beyond for them already. If he wants to be there so much they could get a bus or a taxi. It's not your responsibility and I think its unreasonable of her to push it like this.

Camping wow, we are full to rafters when going camping. Child would have to be in roofrack.

"Just drop the boy at his nan's" is going to be the new "Cancel the cheque" isn't it?!

I'm glad your husband was of the view that you should just head off on your holidays and that is what you're going to do now.

I consider you've gone over and above what is reasonable in the circumstances for this woman and her son. It is admirable that you are willing to do next year too. I'm afraid if it were me I'd be very very cool with her as she has not in any way demonstrated an understanding of how difficult your day is going to be anyway with the sports event and then heading off on hols. What a shower her and her family have proved to be with their lack of consideration about your family time and trouble. I hope your son has a great celebration/awards event and that, when you get there, your camping trip is fab.

@Annghr

Why is it such an issue to take him? 20 minutes out added to your journey will not hurt

Have you bothered to RTFT?

Its not 20 minutes, it will be at least an extra 40 minutes THEN they will have a VERY long car journey to the campsite plus the OP also has a younger child.

I assume that maybe his mum doesn't drive, and if it is a 40 minute journey, that would cost an arm and a leg in a taxi. Where I live it costs £20 for a 7 mile journey that takes 10 minutes

If you had read the thread you would know the mum doesn't drive. Not the OP's fault the mum doesn't drive and a taxi could be pricey.

Plus the parents are not poor church mice and the OP thinks the dad and gran drives so again, they should step up and help.

Plus the car will be full of camping gear needed for the holiday.

Dad drives, gran drives

I have RTFT but have I missed this?

I bet the Dad drives, but has said he doesn't want to, hence the guilt tripping of the OP.

Hi OP, I'm pleased your partner has stated he will drive direct to the campsite and you are in agreement. There is nothing that child's mother can do about this, it is her problem to sort out.
YADNBU and enjoy your holiday!

Have you heard from the mother op? She can clearly afford the taxi.

Op will be back from holiday by the time people are finished wanging on about this!

YANBU - she should go herself with him. Don't even think about this anymore.

I learnt my lesson a long time ago! I never get into these sort arrangements. They start off as a favour then Within a short period of time are totally taken for granted. They stop viewing it as a favour. I will not be guilt tripped into going out of my way for anyone other than immediate family or very close friends. Why does this woman not drive? Unless she has become disabled or ill She is responsible for getting her kids to and from such activities. Why bother learning or have the expense of running a car when you can bully or guilt trip someone else into doing it! Sorry OP but if you do this this time you are setting a precedent! Her problems are NOT your problems. She’s a CF!

So dad and gran drive why ever can't they sort this between themselves or is there a real can of worms in that family ?

OP do enjoy your break:)

Anyone else losing the will to live here?

DC will be married with his own DC to drive to sports ceremonies and people will still be debating on MN whether the OP should give him a lift to his Grandmother’s home.

Bertrand... I like you and your attitude to life. When I didn’t drive people helped me out now I like to pay that on to others and my child is always happier if we take a friend anyway.

Got roped into taking another child to an activity for over a year. Never once did parent offer to take my child and parent did drive.
No excuse for it. You've done good over last 6 MTHS. Sometimes you have to say no. Surely another family member can help but really it's not for you to sort. You've let her know your plans and she should accept.

Taxi’s might be expensive where you are, but it’s one set of trips in 6 months, AND it means she sees her DC’s awards ceremony!

I’m glad you’re going with DH’s wish to drive straight there, I reckon this Mum is a CF to not shell out ONCE in 6 months (I know you refused petrol money, that means though she definitely has enough for 2 taxi trips!

@YoThePussy Never mind the DC being grown up, we will be teleporting places instead of driving.

Not sure what all the ppl will be doing who are much kinder than the OP and would give the DC a lift mind you.

Grabbing strangers off the street and kidnapping them by driving them to random places. "See??? See how KINDER I am than anyone else by driving you??"