Aibu to not give this child a lift?

[ByeByeBike]

My DC do a sporting activity in the next town over on a Sunday morning. One of my ds' classmates wanted to go along too but his mum doesn't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been ferrying him to and from the sports club.

This Sunday is the last week of it before the summer break and they have their big club presentation/awards ceremony which all the kids really look forward to.

However, this week we're driving there and then heading straight off from there on our holiday. I explained to the DC's mum that we wouldn't be able to give a lift this week as we're not driving back to hometown after the awards.

Apparently her ds is heartbroken he can't come to the final day and will miss the awards ceremony. She is begging us to please give him a lift there and then either drop him back home (would be a 40 minute detour for us) or drop him at his grans house (would add 20 minutes onto our journey).

I know that if we go for his grans house then it's only a tiny delay towards our holiday but I just really had it set in my mind that we would just head straight from the activity to our holiday, we have quite a long car journey to get there and could do without our DC being cooped up in the car for any extra time.

Have a great holiday Byebybike

Enjoy your Hol!

The right outcome @byebyebike. I also hope you have a lovely holiday.

The rest of you frothing at the mouth, OP bashers need to take a long hard look at yourselves. This thread has been nothing short of ridiculous. I have been on a night out with work mates and referenced this thread. Not one person thought the OP was being unreasonable.

Sorry @joyfullittlehippo I didn't mean to put your name in.

Forgive me.

Right result op.

Quite abit of virtue signalling on this thread “ I would do it but then I’m so kind”

I'd be rather annoyed by the begging and stick to saying, sorry we can't do it. That's just guilt tripping.

She's making her problem your problem. I would never sign my child up for an activity where I was 100% reliant on another parent to drop and pick them.

You're welcome @joyfullittlehippo

@MsTSwift

Quite a bit of virtue signalling on this thread “ I would do it! But then I’m SO kind!”

LOL!

I hope the parents sort something out for him. I do feel a bit sorry for the lad if I’m honest but it’s not the OPs situation to sort out and I’m glad she doesn’t feel bad because let’s face it she’s been more than fair giving him lifts all this time.

Have you heard anything else from the mum @ByeByeBike

Shes taking advantage of you. Dont do it.

I'm sure we all feel sorry for the lad, including OP but that doesn't mean that OP should feel obligated to do this. She already has enough to do on that day, without having to drive him about, out of her way, and adding to an already long drive.

This is totally on his (not poor, or penniless) parents.

OP I'm glad your DH has said he wants to get off straight away. I hope you have a lovely holiday. It sounds like you've picked a good week for a camping trip!

I'm sure we all feel sorry for the lad, including OP but that doesn't mean that OP should feel obligated to do this. She already has enough to do on that day, without having to drive him about, out of her way, and adding to an already long drive

I know, that’s why I said it’s not the OPs situation to sort out.

I think YANBU. Also - what is it with MN and the number of people that live rurally, don’t drive and can’t afford public transport?

I must be a terrible person because there's no way I would drive 20 minutes out of my way for another kid - I begrudgingly do it for my own let alone someone that's too tight to get an uber...

Three days not enough time to organise how to get your child to a sport. God help me.

As per PPs the mum really needs to put a message on the group chat asking if anyone else is able to drop her ds at home or at his Nan's. OP has done it all season and in my experience team parents are usually happy to work together to see that all the children can attend.

Three days not enough time to organise how to get your child to a sport. God help me.

Right? It's not exactly the moon landing.

You are well within you rights not to take him, but as it is only twenty minutes, I think it would be very unkind not to. I would do it for the child, not the mum.

I don't think you are being unreasonable or unkind at all OP.
You have no room in your car & are heading straight off on holiday.
Other mum needs to make alternative arrangements & perhaps even consider attending the presentation herself?

This is how CFs get away with being CFs, everyone says 'do it for the dc'. I know of a woman who doesn't drive and on wet days tries to guilt others into picking her DCs up, saying that they're leaving her DCs out in the rain if they don't. No, no one else is responsible for the happiness, dryness or inclusion of a DC except the parents. If they're so concerned about their DC they should get their own bloody licence or make sure they have enough money for a taxi or Uber.
Maybe after a few instances of their DCs missing things they might wake up.

@starray - how do you suggest OP takes the boy? It is been stated many times that there is no room in the car so what do you suggest she do? You're saying she is unkind to not plan her family holiday around driving this lad around?

Also where does the “kindness “ end? There are legions of kids less fortunate than our own. Is it incumbent on us to ferry them, feed them support them? Where does it end?