My 8mo baby has been "uninvited" from an overseas wedding

[Skyblue81]

So, one of my oldest friends is getting married in September in Barcelona.

It's a "no kids" wedding but last year when I was still pregnant, she agreed I could bring the baby as she'd only be 8 months old at the time of the wedding. So I booked flights for me, husband and baby. Plus a baby friendly apartment in Barcelona for 5 days. Total spend in the region of £800 just on flights and accommodation.

Now, my husband's not coming as we don't have anyone to look after our older kids and the animals, so we decided it would be just me and the baby going.

My friend has tonight informed me that I now can't bring the baby!

Apparently they told another guest with a 6 month old that she can't bring her baby, so now I'm not allowed to either.

Obviously im not going without my baby - I've not left her overnight before, and I don't want to leave her with husband as he won't cope with all three kids, plus all our animals. We don't have any friends or family who could help either.

Am I being unreasonable to be royally pissed off?! 🤯😡😠🤬 everything is booked and paid for ffs!!! So now I either lose my £800 or I go and sit in an apartment in Lisbon alone, when all I want to do is be with my baby.

I'm wondering if this is the same wedding in Lisbon that my baby has also been uninvited to??

Juicy!

I’m starting to think that people shouldn’t have weddings as they just cause aggro. Bride is being very unreasonable, ask her to reimburse you.

I bet you could manage 3 kids on your own. Why can't your husband?

It's a good job you aren't going, the cost of an Uber from Lisbon to Barcelona is extortionate these days.

Doesn’t really matter whether DH can manage with kids or not - that’s a different matter - bride is an arse and OP severely out of pocket as a result. Bloody cheek of her.

I bet you could manage 3 kids on your own. Why can't your husband

OP has also said she doesn’t want to leave her baby overnight

And she wasn't told she was choosing a trip alone when invited - a waste of an extra airfare and a bigger apartment.

Change the name on DH's ticket, take a friend (who isn't going to the wedding) and go have a break. If you decide you want to go to the ceremony then pop in but I wouldn't blame you if you missed it.
I wonder if the other baby is on her DH's side and he's putting his foot down? If so, then I'd suggest not completely cutting her off as she's going to need support with a DH like that.

Yeah, but she also said, I don't want to leave her with husband as he won't cope with all three kids ffs

see if another friend wants to come for the cost of a name change on the tickets in exchange for a couple of hours babysitting

This

I agree you should keep the apartment and just go on holiday. Screw the unreliable bride and her precious wedding. You and the baby can have a great time together in the sun. Whether it’s Spain or Portugal people will be nice to you and your baby.

Why are there suggestions that involve attending the wedding? I really don't understand that. The friend doesn't give a damn so I wouldn't be going.
My dh has our dc at home while I go on minibreaks. He could not have managed either dc at 8 months as they wouldn't sleep without me (or a particular part of my body, to be honest.)

Oh my goodness, thankyou so much for the replies! I have to say you've all made me laugh out loud and I feel much better already!

Barcelona/ Lisbon/ doesn't really matter the point is it's an "abroad" wedding that involves flights, non-refundable bookings and a hell of a lot of expense.

Yes, my husband should absolutely be able to cope alone. But he can't.

I think im going to book some extra tickets for the other kids and fuck it we'll just have a holiday. Barcelona/Lisbon/Milan is a big enough city that I don't even have to go to the wedding!

Thankyou everyone. Good to know that it's my friend being a dick, not me :)

That sounds rubbish OP.

Any chance of changing the dates and going as a family or coordinating pet/childcare for other dates and you, DH and baby go as a mini break?

Cross posted, great plan OP.

Yep she'd be an ex friend.
Have a nice holiday out of it and she can get to fuck.

Go anyway and treat it as a nice little break. Just don't go to the wedding :)

It is a hugely cunty thing that shes done, especially after you've forked out all that money. However, perhaps someone has kicked up and stink about it not being fair that yours was welcome but theirs wasn't.
Yes you're probably still breast feeding and your baby needs to be with you.
It'll just be black and white to them though.

Weddings in Spain aren't legal so it's not even a wedding anyway!

I would book extra tickets for your other kids and just have 5 days away.

Great. Have fun and sod the happy couple!

Just do one extra thing - make sure you put lots of lovely holiday snaps on Facebook and say what a fantastic impromptu family holiday you had. Just so she can see 😂

Weddings in Spain are legal if one of you is Spanish, one would assume.

If you want to really stick it to her, hold off on letting her know you aren’t coming until the very last minute. In fact tell her DH can now come and you’ll just leave the kids with a sitter...etc.

Last minute say you simply couldn’t leave you DD as the thought was impacting your MH (that way she’ll be an arse to have a go) and they’ll no doubt end up paying an extra £XXX for two guests who didn’t show. I imagine she’ll feel then much as you do now!

I would NEVER suggest to do this unwarranted (I’m recently married myself) but honestly think some brides are just total CF’s!! You do not agree to something - allow your friend to spend money - then back out of your agreement leaving them out of pocket!

I honestly would do the exact same thing to her 😬

Yay! Excellent outcome OP. I hope you all have a great time.