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Original poster

My 8mo baby has been "uninvited" from an overseas wedding

165 replies

Skyblue81 · 17/07/2019 19:47

So, one of my oldest friends is getting married in September in Barcelona.

It's a "no kids" wedding but last year when I was still pregnant, she agreed I could bring the baby as she'd only be 8 months old at the time of the wedding. So I booked flights for me, husband and baby. Plus a baby friendly apartment in Barcelona for 5 days. Total spend in the region of £800 just on flights and accommodation.

Now, my husband's not coming as we don't have anyone to look after our older kids and the animals, so we decided it would be just me and the baby going.

My friend has tonight informed me that I now can't bring the baby!

Apparently they told another guest with a 6 month old that she can't bring her baby, so now I'm not allowed to either.

Obviously im not going without my baby - I've not left her overnight before, and I don't want to leave her with husband as he won't cope with all three kids, plus all our animals. We don't have any friends or family who could help either.

Am I being unreasonable to be royally pissed off?! 🤯😡😠🤬 everything is booked and paid for ffs!!! So now I either lose my £800 or I go and sit in an apartment in Lisbon alone, when all I want to do is be with my baby.

OP posts:
QuickThinkOfAName · 17/07/2019 20:15

What a knob.

I have no problem with child free weddings but to promise your baby is invited then disinvite is shocking.

What did she say when you said you'd booked everything?

Can you all go/get a sizeable refund/go explore the city with baby? Like hell would I go to the wedding though.

NoSquirrels · 17/07/2019 20:20

Could she reconsider the other friend as well as you? There can’t be so many babies under 1 that’s will need to come. I would appeal to her if you can.

Otherwise are you sure there’s no one else who can housesit and babysit some older kids for a few days? You could get someone in (a house sitter) for the animals and add the kids to the holiday and your DH looks after all 3 DC in Lisbon/Barcelona for the wedding day.

Bibijayne · 17/07/2019 20:21

I'd be frank. Lay out that you have spent over £800 as these things need to be booked in advance. That you will now lose this money if your baby cannot attend the wedding. Give her the opportunity to see sense and stick to the previous agreement. Be super clear as to the costs she has caused you.

Quite frankly if she still sticks to the her guns - say you'll be sending her the invoice for the money she has cost you. And start the ball rolling on small claims. Because at that point the friendship is dead.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/07/2019 20:22

Can your dh come out with the kids and sod the wedding?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 17/07/2019 20:23

Destination weddings are so rude anyway.

DPotter · 17/07/2019 20:23

Well she's just blown her wedding present.
Agree with moreismore - contact her and ask if other guests need flights and accomodation as you can't go is baby uninvited, if not she owes you £800.
Just wondering out loud how an insurance company would react if you claimed on your travel insurance......Booked flights and accomodation in good faith, now uninvited ?

bridgetreilly · 17/07/2019 20:25

I would just go and take the baby. She is being ridiculous.

ReggaetonLente · 17/07/2019 20:25

The exact same thing has just happened to us, except we're going to the US and have spent about £3k. I'm fucking raging and at this point have told DH we're just going to sack off the wedding and make a holiday of it.

So yeah, apparently this is a thing people do!

Treaclesweet · 17/07/2019 20:25

Yeh I would be straight with her and tell her what she will cost you! Either that or if you could afford to bring the older kids sack off the wedding and have a little holiday as a family. Bride is well out of order.

Sunshine93 · 17/07/2019 20:28

I would be so annoyed. Can you book flights for your older two bin off the wedding and just have a family holiday? Then at least you've spent the money for good reason.

This is likely to destroy your friendship. She will be annoyed you don't go and you will be annoyed about the £800

I personally think a destination wedding where kids are not invited is selfish as most people would make a September trip to Barcelona/Lisbon their holiday.

Stompythedinosaur · 17/07/2019 20:32

That is really bad. I would definitely let her know how upset you are at losing your money due to her disinviting you. It is beyond rude!

I would be trying to add on your other dc and have a family holiday too.

JazzyGG · 17/07/2019 20:32

This happened to me - but in this country. However it ended up my eldest was allowed to go as was a bridesmaid but my baby was uninvited! I had booked the hotel (£150) and a babysitter to come to hotel (£100) she then had a strop at me when I cancelled the hotel room and didnt understand why my mum couldn't drive my baby 40 miles at 7pm in December to bring her to bed at the hotel! Fucking Bridezilla.

GrabbyGertie · 17/07/2019 20:34

I'd try speaking to her again and explain that you have spent £800. Tell her she would be responsible for you losing the money.

Do you know her boyfriend? Is he more reasonable?

TalentedMsRipley · 17/07/2019 20:34

I'm wondering if this is the same wedding in Lisbon that my baby has also been uninvited to??

BeaneryWeenery · 17/07/2019 20:34

Barcelona is lovely (we live here with our DC) It's really baby friendly. Just go but don't bother with the wedding. Your friend is being a bit of a twat tbh.
If you want a bunch of places to go while you're here then give me a shout :)

JustTheCrowsAndTheBeef · 17/07/2019 20:36

Do you have travel insurance?

TakeMe2Insanity · 17/07/2019 20:37

Ditch the wedding and go on the holiday (with the rest of the family)

Quaffy · 17/07/2019 20:37

I would just go and take the baby

This is appalling advice

NoSquirrels · 17/07/2019 20:38

I'm wondering if this is the same wedding in Lisbon that my baby has also been uninvited to??

Ooh. Plot thickens! How old is your baby Ripley?

SagAloojah · 17/07/2019 20:38

Yes I too erotic to have holiday in Lisbon with DH and all kids and stuff the wedding. She’s BU.

Loftyswops988 · 17/07/2019 20:38

Is it Lisbon or Barcelona?

TalentedMsRipley · 17/07/2019 20:39

Oh, shit, it's not. Mine one isn't til next year...

Myriade · 17/07/2019 20:39

I Think your friend attitude isn’t on.

But can you explain why your DH wouldn’t be able to cope looking after his own dcs and his own animals? Confused

Singlenotsingle · 17/07/2019 20:40

Try to sell the holiday? Advertise it on FB and eBay?

LuckyLou7 · 17/07/2019 20:41

I would do what other posters have suggested. Bite the bullet, organise kennels/cattery for the animals, book flights for the older children and go on holiday. Sod the wedding. Barcelona is fabulous, so is Lisbon -
although maybe you're going to Rome Wink

Have fun!

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