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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

471 replies

loudnoises1 · 17/07/2019 17:43

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 20:14

I just don't think it would kill someone babysitting to have a quick read on current guidelines and respect the parents wishes

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 20:15

It may have changed at times but i wouldn't say it has changed lots. That's an exaggeration

Butchyrestingface · 17/07/2019 20:17

There was me thinking the (absent) OP was a touch dramatic and then I hit @TheDandyHighwayman’s post.

Oscar 🏆 worthy stuff.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 20:17

Dementedpixie...that's your opinion and that's fine. Others think differently and that's fine too.

Knittedjimmychoos · 17/07/2019 20:18

Bertrand across all threads you sound like your interrogating when you question in this way . I only mention this because you have couched another question in softer terms as though your not aware of this trait?

It's just I've often found the questioning is slightly disengenous, as though you already you know the answer or think you do.

And people answer you in good faith and I rarely see you respond.

I only say as it seems perhaps its just a habit, perhaps a barrister used to getting people in the Dock 😁😁

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/07/2019 20:19

My DGD loves water, I doubt the baby would have taken it if it didn’t want it.
Yeh but this is baby (sugar) water so I expect it was drunk more readily than cooled boiled water.

I never needed to give dd water as she was breastfed but 6oz is a ridiculous amount. Putting it into context, 6 oz would quench the thirst of an adult.

dustarr73 · 17/07/2019 20:20

So loudnoises1 starts a thread[bunfight] and then disappears

notangelinajolie · 17/07/2019 20:21

What a shame she's fucked her chance of having a relationship with your daughter, because there are no circumstances she should be allowed anywhere near her, the stupid cow

Well you sound nice.

OP I think you MIL sounds like a very sensible lady.

TabbyMumz · 17/07/2019 20:23

@snuggybuggy.....I think you can expect younger people to have a quick read of guidelines....but a lot of older people don't use the internet or have Wi-Fi so will go with what they know.

Rainonmyguitar · 17/07/2019 20:24

Yeh but this is baby (sugar) water so I expect it was drunk more readily than cooled boiled water

What do you mean sugar water? As far as I can see it was plain water.

NCforthis2019 · 17/07/2019 20:25

that's way too much. jesus christ.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 20:26

“It's just I've often found the questioning is slightly disengenous, as though you already you know the answer or think you do.“

To be fair, on this thread I did know the answer. But I think people should be given the opportunity to show that they are right. So asking a person who is talking bollocks to provide some evidence strikes me as an entirely reasonable thing to say. Why should somebody be able to say categorically “the advice is always changing” or “in 2001 the guidelines said to start weaning at 13 weeks” and not be challenged on it when it’s just not true.

TurquoiseDress · 17/07/2019 20:26

Hi OP

I think you are being somewhat unreasonable towards your MIL

As has been said already, the current advice is that formula fed babies can have some water if it's hot etc

6 oz does sound a lot to be had in one go, was it over a period of time eg an afternoon?

I know you'd said that you didn't want your baby to have any water, but I think in the circumstances your MIL did the right thing by giving the water

I felt similar to you with DC1, my in-laws, especially my MIL seemed super to give water a lot to my 6 week old, I didn't want to

Also, FIL wanted to add flour to DC's milk but that's another story Hmm

I know you're feeling upset but it's not worth affecting your future relationship with MIL

In the grand scheme of things, it's a small thing really. Personally, based on this, I'd let it go (unless there is a huge back story with the MIL and her unreasonable behaviour!)

Orangeballon · 17/07/2019 20:26

If baby was not thirsty then baby would not have drunk the water.

EskewedBeef · 17/07/2019 20:27

Yeh but this is baby (sugar) water so I expect it was drunk more readily than cooled boiled water

What's baby sugar water? I think the op was talking about standard tap water.

BeaneryWeenery · 17/07/2019 20:29

What is 6oz in mls?

Orangeballon · 17/07/2019 20:30

And you could always look after your own child at all times if you are worried.

littlewriggler · 17/07/2019 20:31

OP I think you MIL sounds like a very sensible lady.

Giving a baby 6oz of water instead of small sips because they seem hot, and then wrapping them up in layers and a blanket, is not sensible. It makes no sense whatsoever. It's misguided at best. And it wasn't even done with the best intentions because the OP specifically asked her not to give the baby water.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/07/2019 20:31

I find it really hard to believe many grandparents of babies don't have the Internet or wifi, we are talking people in their fifties and sixties not elderly people.

dementedpixie · 17/07/2019 20:31

180mls

isadoradancing123 · 17/07/2019 20:31

Yes the guidelines and advice do change frequently indicating that they are never sure what is correct in first place, and no its not due to research

DappledThings · 17/07/2019 20:31

lmgtfy.com/?q=6oz+in+ml&s=g

NoSauce · 17/07/2019 20:32

I would be amazed if a baby drank 6oz of water all in one go. Is that what happened?

I thought that immediately when I read the first post. I guess this is an exaggeration from the OP to garner support.

yummumto3girls · 17/07/2019 20:33

What a lot of over reaction to water! OP and lots of you are being ridiculous. There is no way this caused baby to be unwell. OP seems to have disappeared though so we have no idea if baby had anything else as an option? Poor MIL just trying to do a good job.

NaturalBornWoman · 17/07/2019 20:34

I think you can expect younger people to have a quick read of guidelines....but a lot of older people don't use the internet or have Wi-Fi so will go with what they know.

Jeez. She's probably in her 50s or 60s.

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