To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

[loudnoises1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

God, what a heinous bitch, trying to keep your baby cool and hydrated. Have her euthanised - anything else is too good for that monster

@Jellybeans We don’t know it was in one go. And the OP said “babies don’t need water” which is incorrect. So I think she should cut her MIL some slack

Aridane - that’s like saying it’s ok to wear a coat outside in the summer because it’s alright, you’ve got water to keep you cool!

It just doesn’t work like that does it.

She overdressed the child and fed the child waay too much water, potentially replacing a feed. Both things can lead to the death of a child.

It’s not a joke.

I would actually be concerned about MIL's state of mental health.
You were lucky that your baby didn't suffer anything more serious than a bloated stomach and bum-explosions

Oh my - the thread that keep on giving

but surely in this day and age people measure everything in ml?

@AllPizzasGreatAndSmall my dh thought this before we had our dc.... he uses ml at work and though using fl oz was bonkers, but then realised that a 6 oz bottle took 6 flattened scoops of formula. Therefore much easier to remember and more logical to use.

But jelly the overreaction of some posters is a joke...

(water akin to vodka)

It's water! Nobody ever died from drinking water - OP's OH included!

But they have.

Living in Australia and having two summer babies I've had several health professionals including my sons paediatrician say that babies under 6 months generally don't need anymore than breast milk or formula in the heat. If it is very hot and you are concerned about dehydration and Bub refuses BM or formula than SMALL SIPS of cooled boiled water is ok. 180mls is far too much. Water intoxication in infants is real and ignorance is dangerous.

OP your MIL overdressed your baby in warm weather and went against your clear instructions regarding the water. I personally wouldn't have minded if it was a small amount, but not a bottle.

Derbee that’s what it sounded like from op, who hasn’t clarified.

There’s a massive difference though derbee, 6oz to a 13 week old is a hell of a lot. we’re not living in 30 degree weather. Their milk intake should be enough unless it’s extremely hot (and over dressing shouldn’t even come in to this, another thing the mil needs to address).

The fact of the matter is, the mil hasn’t listened and has failed in 2 areas that can be dangerous to a baby of such an age.

For now, all I see is that the mil gave the baby a 6oz bottle of water, this could have replaced a feed, not be cool boiled water- who knows.

Wrongly op doesn’t realise in some circumstances water will be needed, but she’s used this wrong info to tell someone not to do something that involves her child, right or wrong this should be respected.

You have to trust who you leave your children with.

Aridane I know, it’s some people’s general attitude to life, if they’ve never seen it happen to someone it’s a conspiracy.

Or you know, they were alright so of course everyone else must be alright too.

It is definitely true that women were always told this by the Nhs and in books /articles in the past. I was, certainly with my eldest. She should I'm have checked with you, but I think it probably never occurred to her that the advice has changed.

As I said, MIL should not have given water against the wishes of the OP

However, I think it’s always worth being open to hearing what current guidelines are, and how to sensibly interpret them for the benefit of your child.

OP and MIL are both wrong. MIL is more wrong as it’s not her decision to make.

Unfortunately people don’t tend to interpret things too well here, hence the need to label nuts with labels that warn you there’s nuts inside.
That sort of thing.

They obviously mean an oz or so in extremely hot weather in between a feed, not 6oz in one go.

I was advised to give my baby (boiled then cooled) water, he’s 6 now though.

I'm really surprised by so many people thinking that a young baby needs water for hydration. They get what they need from their feeds. It's well known that water is dangerous for young babies. She didn't do the baby any favours at all, and the baby would have been perfectly hydrated on milk. What do you think people in hot countries do? We don't give our babies water they're not recommended to have.

https://www.babycenter.com/404when-can-babies-drink-waterr_1368488.bc

@cryer - but it isn't well known. Those of us with older children were actively TOLD to give our young babies water. As several people have already said. We didn't make it up. health visitors gave that advice.

@cryer - the NHS still advises bottle fed babies to be given water in hot weather. That advise hasn’t changed

I would probably not let her have her unsupervised until she’s older. Infants of that age can develop symptomatic hyponatremia with intakes of as little as 260mls of water. It’s not ‘just water’. It’s dangerous.

Infant seizures and deaths are likely with large volumes of water, babies will take excessive volumes possibly because they are unable to distinguish the type of fluid they are drinking. She doesn’t listen to you so I wouldn’t trust her (unless she is mortified and apologetic when she learns the risks)

Um can I ask how people who think water is poison what they think formula is made with?

@notangelinajolie read the thread. There's a difference between formula and plain water.

6oz in one go?! Hopefully it was over the course of the day.

I had 1st baby in 2000 and last baby in 2007 and we gave water (cooked boiled) in hot weather. But the advice changes so no idea if it's the advice now.
It I think it's just fine.

More of a problem that she is not listening to you.
And putting baby in so many clothes.

There is plenty of information out there about why you don't give babies water under 6 months.

I forgot I'd posted this and wasn't expecting that many comments!

For those asking, yes it was 6 oz all in one go which is what I suspect made her so bloated.

I am aware of the current NHS guidelines, of course I would have been okay with her being given a bit. My main annoyance is that she had her wrapped up in so many layers and didn't think to remove some of those first. & seeing as we had already had a conversation about water where I had said no, personally I think she could have just dropped us a text to ask at the very least as she was texting us about other things.

I'm sure I am making a big deal over nothing as it's not the first time she's gone against something I've specifically said recently.

Oh and for those saying I'm not ready to leave my baby, I really am. Most of my friends/family comment on how chilled out I am about the whole thing, of course I'm aware that by entrusting someone to look after my child, I have to understand that they're going to make decisions differently to me at times. My problem is, how many times do you let somebody go against your wishes?

I also however won't let DD's relationship with MIL suffer over something that I guess isn't a huge deal so I've made it very clear that she can do what she thinks best, but if she goes against my specific instructions, that's not okay.

Anyhoos thanks MNers, I knew I could rely on you lot to be certifiably bonkers and also bring me back down to earth a bit.