To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

[loudnoises1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

We don't know that as OP never clarified

I think ultimately, your mil doesn’t have a clue what she is doing. I know someone has said that she’s just doing what was ok back in the day, but that would also mean you’d leave your child open to smacking and other methods that have died out too.

Ultimately she has been stupid and hasn’t looked after your child’s basic needs, she hasn’t listened to you either op.

As many have pointed out, a bottle of milk is mostly water. How the hell is the water that MIL gave going to do her any more harm than six oz of milk?

Look, it's fine to think the OP is overreacting a bit, and that the MIL is unlikely to have meant any harm. And clearly the baby is fine. But water intoxication is a real thing, caused by giving pure water without the electrolytes contained in formula. It can cause low sodium levels leading to seizures, and it is potentially life-threatening. The posters mentioning it here are not making it up. In most cases it is caused simply by parents watering down formula too much; there have even been case reports of babies developing it after swallowing mouthfuls of water in the swimming pool.

So there are genuine reasons to be cautious about giving small babies large amounts of water in one go. Obviously, in this case nothing terrible happened, which is great.

The people who are saying - it's 6 oz of water, what do you think is in milk, that's made with 6oz of water are completely misunderstanding what water intoxication and imbalances related to hyponatremia are.

It's not about amounts it's about the ratio.

E.g. a marathon runner could drink at a certain stage in their race 2 litres of gatorade/fluids and be 100% fine, yet drink 2 litres of plain water and become very unwell.

It doesn't matter that the milk is made with 6 oz of water, it's about the balance of salts.

Just like diluting formula can cause problems (warning this is a sad article):
www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/68719687/

babies, especially tiny ones/young ones, cannot cope with anything but small amounts of plain water.

I would check with your MIL what else she was given, from the wording it does sound like the 6oz bottle was all in one go.

^ That article is also useful because it explains why a baby could easily drink an amount that's dangerous, and it could look like it needed/wanted it.

Jellybeansincognito

What should have mil done??? If she’d left baby to dehydrate and the baby ended up
Ill in hospital, What would’ve you done???

You are annoyed at MIL because she gave your baby water? You realise that water is not akin to vodka do you? Jeez... everyone needs water to quench their thirst on a hot day. I'm so glad my daughter's in law are "normal".

It's water FFS! It makes me wonder how your OH survived his upbringing OP...

@Evilspiritgin she should have fed her with formula, not water. If a baby has drank a 6oz bottle of water this would have potentially replaced a feed and that’s not brilliant is it, as pointed out many times by myself and other posters about how dangerous it is to give too much water and why.

It’s not like we’re in 30+ weather, it’s warm but it’s not warm enough for me to contemplate giving w baby water on top of their formula.

@TwoPupsandaHamster you’re so glad your daughters in law are normal?

I’m glad my mil is normal enough to see the error in her ways and actually respect new parenting methods and advice.

We’ve explained that water can be fatal, along with overdressing but op isn’t normal for being bothered about this?

🤦🏼‍♀️

@TabbyMumz SIX OUNCES of water though?!?!

Im 99.9% sure a baby who has never taken water before did not guzzle 6oz in one sitting- and if she did she was dehydrated.

The baby is fine, therefore the hysteria regarding low sodium/K+ are unfounded, perhaps consideration to what damage dehydration can cause to the kidneys should be discussed?

Wait till you have your second child, you’ll break all the rules and laugh at this thread.

@Pippa12 I have 2 children and still wouldn’t do this, it’s absolutely not necessary.

The child could have been hungry and guzzled it anyway since she wasn’t in her usual care setting so everything was different anyway. You just don’t know.
It’s not something to joke about really considering this has killed far too many babies.

We’ve explained that water can be fatal, along with overdressing but op isn’t normal for being bothered about this

When I was employed within the Ambulance Dispatch Team I remember having several calls from several members of the public (friends of a patient)... "OMG! My friend has overdosed - on water!! 😱 Turns out said "friend" had drunk several bottles of water.... As well as several.pints of whisky... "Water overdose"was repeated several times, from several people, over minutes - thus clogging up the emergency lines for patients that were genuinely in need of medical assistance.

It's water! Nobody ever died from drinking water - OP's OH included!

No you don’t die from drinking water, you die from Hyponatremia however, which can be caused by drinking excessive water.

Especially in a baby, whose kidneys are not properly functional.

The sheer ignorance on this thread is astounding.

I’m glad my mil is normal enough to see the error in her ways and actually respect new parenting methods and advice

My 6 month old and 8 month old grandchildren drink water from a sippy cup throughout the day - probably more than 6 ozs per day. Both my Daughters in Law act on the advice from the Health Visitors. Thank goodness my grandchildren have survived a water overdose up until now 🙄

@loudnoises1 - are you coming back to your own thread?

@TwoPupsandaHamster they’re over 6 months old and I’m assuming are weaned, or weaning.

Not a 13 week old that doesn’t need anything apart from formula.

I'd be pissed off at this. 6oz is a LOT of water at that age. No water is necessary at 13 weeks.

TwoPups are you ignoring the incidences where babies have become ill or in fact died because of excessive water intake?

The babies in the sad link were consistently being given watered down milk or cordial instead of milk, because their parents couldn't afford milk. Very different from a one off drink of water on a hot day.

Again, drinking a bottle of water between feeds was the norm (recommended, even) until quite recently, even at 2-3 months old. Like every day. And I never heard of any deaths from it
It might not be best practice now, and grandmothers are going to have to adjust. But the hysteria over one bottle of water on this thread is silly.

Missing the point, but why the hell are people talking about 6 oz of water, do you mean fl oz?

I had my babies in the 1990s and they were breastfed, so whilst I probably did make up a few bottles of formula I can't remember details, but surely in this day and age people measure everything in ml?

YABU to flatly refuse to acknowledge that current guidelines are to give formula fed babies a bit of cooled boiled water in hot weather. You run the risk of your baby becoming dehydrated if you don’t use discretion, and just blindly stick to your own incorrect opinions.

Your MIL shouldn’t have given the baby water against your will. But you are incorrect to believe that a formula fed baby will never need water. And it must be frustrating from her point of view to see you refuse to acknowledge current guidelines

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall Most people go with oz with formula? I mean, it’s easier to make I guess.
5 scoops to 5oz and so on.

derbee there’s a massive difference between giving a baby an oz of water between a feed and giving them a 6oz bottle in one go.

Again, the weather isn’t exactly reaching 30 degrees, if the baby was visibly hot the mil should know to remove clothes, not cover her in full sleeves and a blanket in warm weather.