To be annoyed MIL gave my baby water?

[loudnoises1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? Or am I still a hormonal mess?

So my 13 week old DD has a very sensitive tummy. Dr has advised us to feed her in small doses etc. She is a super lovely easy baby, rarely cries and sleeps through (most) nights.

A couple of weeks ago on a very hot day, MIL suggested we give DD some water in her bottle as it was so hot. I said no, babies don't need water and with her tummy being so sensitive I'd rather she didn't have anything she wasn't used to.

This past weekend MIL had DD for a few hours while we were at a wedding. When she dropped her back off with us DD was screaming completely inconsolable. Again, a very hot day and MIL had changed her into a vest, sleepsuit and a blanket. I was already a bit annoyed about this so I stripped her off to cool her down and noticed how bloated her stomach was.
I text MIL to ask if DD had been okay throughout the day and her response was 'I think she was a bit too hot but I gave her a 6oz bottle of water so she'll be fine'

DD was fine (after a couple of bumsplosions) of course but AIBU to be fuming that MIL did this or do I need to ignore it. I'm mostly annoyed that she did something I specifically said not to do. It's just some water this time but what will it be next time, feeding her solids? Giving her sugary drinks?

I would have been extremely pissed off too.

If someone can't follow basic instructions, then they are clearly not suitable to babysit - and shouldn't complain if they never left with the baby again.

I agree, in a couple of months it will be "chocolate buttons" because "it's not cocaine you know " and so on.

I’ve also given all my children (3 of them) cold camomile tea.

To be fair I have no idea where they are currently and every single local bus shelter has been burned down.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to be a bit upset she did something you asked her not to. On the other hand she did what she thought best and you left your baby in her care so to some extent you have to go with it.

I exclusively bf and didn’t give my baby water until he was on solids. I gave known ff mums to give water hit have no idea how much or how often.

At the end of the day it was water not gin. If you don’t trust mil to follow your wishes don’t leave baby with her. No need to really at 13 weeks.

For those properly over reacting this does not mean going nc or not allowing mil to spend time alone with baby just not leaving her there for many hours.

I agree with everything @BertieBotts has said.

She’s overheated your child which can kill, and also given 6oz of water in one go?

I think you should definitely learn from this op, she can’t be trusted.

when the kid is old enough to tell her no themselves when she pulls one of these crazy ideas out of her hat. I wouldn’t make a big fuss, it’d just be clear there’d be no babysitting for the foreseeable future

Crazy idea? It was water.

I don’t understand the comments saying that it’s only water, not gin.

The baby is 13 weeks old, 6oz of water in one go is insane and potentially dangerous. It can really play with blood chemical levels, along with mother in law not dressing the baby correctly for the right temperature, also dangerous. Not exactly a great place to leave a baby is it?

@Rainonmyguitar too much water can kill. 6oz in one go is insane.

When you leave your child with someone you expect them to look after your child’s basic needs.

Hunger, comfortableness (correctly dressed, nappy) and love.

It doesn’t matter how much mil loves her granddaughter, if she cannot get the other 2 things right a child should not be left. She was told to not give the baby water but did it anyway, so I’d presume the baby also missed a feed, was left uncomfortable and put in dangerous scenarios of being too hot and too much water.

I’m sorry, none of my children- all ff - would ever have taken a drop more than they needed. The hundreds of pounds of thrown out formula because the princesses had declared the shop was shut after 70mls.

If baby had 150ml of plain water over the day then baby was happy to have it. And 150ml of “fluid with no nutritional value” won’t cause a 13 week old any harm at all. Not giving it could have caused harm though.

Rainonmyguitar too much water can kill. 6oz in one go is insane

But we don't know if it was given in one go or throughout the day/evening. Baby was fine.

‘I gave her a 6oz bottle of water’ makes me think it was in one go. If the baby was hungry she would have drank it I’m sure. Milk would have been more appropriate.

If I was trusted to look after such a young baby and it was showing signs of being too hot, and the weather was hot so I could not reasonably cool the environment down, I would probably have done the same.
I cant see if your baby is bf or FF but in either case, some water could well have been the right thing to do.
Don't leave your baby with people and then hold them to ransom for doing their best.

@namechangeninjaevervigilant

Ah good old Sunny Delight- my mum always refused to buy it, don't blame her- it was radioactive looking

I finally got to taste it at a party- and it was utterly foul!

yabu. she went against your wishes when you were not around and your dd suffered because of it. Been there. DD had been in hospital for reflux and I told my own mother not to add extra formula like she suggested. Then dd was constipated for 2 days because she added extra formula and tried to say she was confused. Just to add it wasn't just extra it was extra formula with less water to quite harmful.

too much water can kill. 6oz in one go is insane

Have people lost their minds?

I think I need a mumsnet break

I think that if you're not prepared to let a family member who is looking after your child make a few basic decisions when they are in charge, you are not ready to leave your child with someone else.

It is usual to feel anxious as a new mum and to feel hyper critical about everything others do, but until you can back off a little and trust the person you've left your child with, it's best for everyone that you don't leave your baby. You just have to accept that when you do, there might be the odd decision that comes up and that they will decide what to do and it might not always be exactly what you would do.

Recognise too that being an early carer for someone else's child is really difficult - it's so easy to do something which causes upset, totally unintentionally. Recognise that as a first time new mum you probably are hormonal and hypercritical.

I'd think carefully about how you handle this. Yes, your baby's care comes first, but nothing wrong was done. Maintaining a good relationship with GPs is important and they will be important in your life and that of your child in the future. So it is okay to gently and politely say if you'd prefer something wasn't done in future, but be careful how you word it and the tone. You really don't need to damage the relationship or put the GP in a position where she just feels she cannot offer childcare again. So keeping a sense of longer term perspective is important here.

And again, think about whether you are ready to leave your baby. If you're not that's fine and you'll just have to miss out on some social occasions for a while.

Wow, your overly dramatic. Giving a baby cooled boiled water was advised by my health visitors when mine were tiny, breast fed or formula fed. It’s water, not vodka. Get a grip.

Does anyone know of any cases of babies dying from being given 6oz of water? I'd google but I'm over 45 and can't guarantee I'd do it right

Good luck ever leaving your child at nursery or with a childminder, any of you who've been going off the deep end here. If you think they're going to do things exactly the way you do, you're wrong.

At some point you have to relinquish control and trust others. And learn to know what really matters. Some water on a hot day is not dangerous.

People are willingly completely missing the point.

It's not acceptable to ignore a parent instructions, especially for a baby.

So in short, whatever you ask her to do or not will go straight over her head and she will do as she sees fit. Fine, but it's not her child and I wouldn't leave mine with her.

I agree with wombat 100%.

@Lizzielocket babies kidneys don’t function properly, it’s so heavily advised to be careful with water especially when making formula because of the way formula is designed for a baby to break down.

Look in to neonatal hyponatremia

saraclara You’re right, some water on a hot day isn’t dangerous, unless you’re feeding a 13 week old 6oz of it in one go.

It wasn’t 6oz at once