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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give back these shoes?

506 replies

daffalicious · 16/07/2019 22:16

My daughter went on a school trip a month ago with walking boots bought the day before so brand new. She has worn them a couple of times since.
Tonight I recieved a text from another parent saying that we have his daughters boots.. they are exact same and bought new for the trip but a size smaller.
I checked and it's true we have the smaller size (I insisted on buying the bigger size even though they needed insole and extra pair of socks!)
Of course we should swap back..BUT the dad says they have been searching at school but can only find 1 of my daughters size.
So it sounds as though his daughter has left the boots at school the past month and now 1 is lost.
AIBU to not want to return the pair my daughter is happily wearing to have 1/ none?! Especially when we have walks planned and I cannot afford to buy another pair!

OP posts:
HeadintheiClouds · 16/07/2019 23:27

Did you misread the op, Saving.
His dd never had the boots. One was found in school and the other was never found at all (and the one’s belonging to her were on op’s dd’s feet)

sailorcherries · 16/07/2019 23:28

savingspace or OPs DD lost her boots and took the other girls, other girl went home with none and dad went to school to see if his daughter's were there and found the OPs DDs boot?

HeadintheiClouds · 16/07/2019 23:32

There’s a pair of you in it, op. Your dd nicking someone else’s boots because she couldn’t find her own; and you wilfully misunderstanding why you need to return them.
The apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree?

Naillig222 · 16/07/2019 23:32

It’s annoying, but you can’t just keep somebody else’s shoes.

SavingSpaces2019 · 16/07/2019 23:38

Did you misread the op, Saving
I did read the OP.
Other DD knew she had a pair of boots and she used them on the trip - so why wasn't she making sure she brought them back home with her?
The mistake would have been spotted sooner and the boot wouldn't be lost.

IsobelRae23 · 16/07/2019 23:42

Your daughter didn’t realise that her boots which were too big, suddenly fit her perfectly? The other girl left them at school as she knew they were not hers to take. Only one CF here.....

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 16/07/2019 23:43

I can't believe people are telling you to keep the boots Confused.

Basic property law: They aren't yours. You know they aren't yours. The owner has claimed them. Give them back to their owner.

It's bad luck, absolutely. It does not entitle you to keep possession of property that isn't yours.

And stop calling it a 'swap', the girls didn't consciously decide to swap like for like boots. Both girls lost their boots the moment they mistakenly put on someone else's and walked away from their own. One girl's boots have been found (in your home), and you need to return them.

It would be a nice gesture if the Dad allowed you to keep them but legally you're obligated to return them.

Also I can't imagine how awkward it will feel for you and your daughter if she has to keep attending school with someone whose property she is unlawfully in possession of.

Original poster
daffalicious · 16/07/2019 23:44

Gosh. All the people calling children thieves should calm down!
To add to the mystery I've just noticed rereading the texts that the dad said initially his daughters were a size 2. Mine a size 4 but we have a size 3 now!
So if the pair we have are not theirs either I feel even more that we should wait for the return of 2 boots before heading these over.
My daughter never took the insoles on the trip as she thought would be too hot.

OP posts:
WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 16/07/2019 23:44

Not the point of the thread- but let this be a lesson to you to clearly mark your daughters property with her name, especially if it's something you can't afford to replace

Stompythedinosaur · 16/07/2019 23:45

If both girls came home with boots and his dd has subsequently lost one then he should suck it up.

If they came home with no boots (because you dd had them) and during the search has seen one uncollected boot in lost property that your dd left on the trip, then you should suck it up.

LillithsFamiliar · 16/07/2019 23:46

It's not necessarily the case that the other girl has been wearing the boots and now lost one. She could have worn other shoes back from the trip, left a bag at school and it's only now she's collecting everything up at the end of term that they've realised there is only one boot in her bag and it's the wrong size.

MrsFezziwig · 16/07/2019 23:47

Has your DD got any explanation for what happened?

DinoEggz · 16/07/2019 23:47

They aren't yours. You know they aren't yours. The owner has claimed them. Give them back to their owner.
That applies in the opposite direction as well then. The other girl needs to give the boots she has back to their owner (OP). If she’s lost one then she needs to replace them.

BrokenWing · 16/07/2019 23:49

They aren't your boots so return them, but I would expect the dad to also return your boots or pay for replacements as his daughter lost them.

Original poster
daffalicious · 16/07/2019 23:51

@LillithsFamiliar I think something like this occurred.
No one has intentionally taken anything. And yes I wish I wrote a name inside now!

OP posts:
WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 16/07/2019 23:53

@DinoEggz It doesn't work both ways because the other girl didn't know the boots she had weren't hers. It's bad luck they were lost, but she wasn't consciously depriving anyone of their property. Just being careless with something she honestly and reasonably believed was her own property.

OP knows the boots aren't her daughters, and is holding onto them anyway. That's theft.

TheGirlWhoLived · 16/07/2019 23:53

Ach just give the boots back Theify Mcthief Face- they ain’t yours

Divebar · 16/07/2019 23:54

You don’t get it.... they’re not yours. No one has to provide you with anything. You need to contact the school and advise them that you have someone else’s property in case they can assist. Or perhaps put a message out on social media if there’s a WhatsApp group or similar - of course you won’t do that. ( incidentally children can be thieves as well as adults - stop being naive. )

sailorcherries · 16/07/2019 23:55

No one knows whether the other girl has any boots in her possession. We know her dad went to look for boots, plural, and found one - all at school. It seems likely the other girl has never had OPs DDs but OPs DD has always had the other girls.

Making it likely the other child did not being anything home and has never been in possession of the boots. Making it likely they were lost on the trip and OPs DD took the wrong ones.

UterusUterusGhali · 16/07/2019 23:55

They're not your boots tho. You need to give them back.

RandomMess · 16/07/2019 23:55

At least you can honestly say "I don't have your DD boots, the ones we have here are not a size 2 🤷🏽‍♀️"

viques · 17/07/2019 00:00

Convenient updates there OP.

Wink
notangelinajolie · 17/07/2019 00:25

Your daughter took somebody else's boots. You need to give them back.

PupsAndKittens · 17/07/2019 00:27

Op, how old are the children? Because part of me thinks that if the teacher/Classroom support assistance saw that the girls had the same shoes surely they should of made share that the right shoes where given back to the right child. I understand that it is not the teachers job to look after belongings but surely y1 Primaries would need more help then a 13 year old in secondary school ( Who I would expect to look after their own belongings without any assistance, obviously)

Although annoying, I would give back the shoes, HOWEVER, I would make it clear to the girls father that you are not happy that the shoes have been lost and would like to know what reasonable steps are being taken to try and find it.

Hope this gets figured out

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 17/07/2019 00:42

You don't really know what happened, but basically you have someone else's boots. You surely can't keep them...