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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give back these shoes?

506 replies

daffalicious · 16/07/2019 22:16

My daughter went on a school trip a month ago with walking boots bought the day before so brand new. She has worn them a couple of times since.
Tonight I recieved a text from another parent saying that we have his daughters boots.. they are exact same and bought new for the trip but a size smaller.
I checked and it's true we have the smaller size (I insisted on buying the bigger size even though they needed insole and extra pair of socks!)
Of course we should swap back..BUT the dad says they have been searching at school but can only find 1 of my daughters size.
So it sounds as though his daughter has left the boots at school the past month and now 1 is lost.
AIBU to not want to return the pair my daughter is happily wearing to have 1/ none?! Especially when we have walks planned and I cannot afford to buy another pair!

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 11:57

@SagAloojah and @WillLokireturn to be fair to me, I was reading through the first few pages when I then made my comments (consecutively) and the first comment @Sag made to me she tagged me, so I was notified at that point. I didn’t leave the page.

I just can’t understand a) what it’s got to do with her b) why she seems to think my post is “irrelevant shite” when I’m not the ONLY pp doing this and c) why she’s now accusing me of lying? Wtf? She tagged me in her very first comment to me.

WillLokireturn · 19/07/2019 12:04

@VenusTiger
I understand. It's easy to pick out one person when it was a series of PPs and that can't feel great.
Anyway Venus, I'm sat waiting for sun to peak out from behind clouds, it's last day of term here ...! Hope you all have are looking forward to holidays too.

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:10

@WillLokireturn yes, it’s very odd to be singled out like that and for him/her to keep on at me like this is disparaging.

Yes, my DS finishes Yr1 today too 😭😭 still raining here... typical if it rains for weeks on end now!

Hey, must go, don’t want to continue writing any irrelevant shite any further 😂😂😂 have a good summer and thanks for the back-up ✌🏻

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:12

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius read my post above yours. No apology required.

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:15

@VenusTiger no one tagged you when you came back to post ‘A couple of pages, yes, 18, nope. We leave a comment and move on.’

Do you not get that? Stop pretending that you came back after I tagged you.

You didn’t want to RTT, but as soon as you posted you can’t to see who responded to your pearls of wisdom.

And that’s fine, but don’t get annoyed when your comment is irrelevant because you haven’t RTT and you’re called up on it.

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:15

@SagAloojah look at the times of my consecutive posts! I DID NOT LEAVE THE PAGE.

Stop this please!

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 12:17

Some people do like to police what others post. Must be exhausting, checking whole threads to find any free spirits posting what the hell they please to castigate

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:19

Who in hell cares if my comment is irrelevant @SagAloojah who cares!! Why are you doing this? What is your problem?

My page refreshes if I click on the email notification which appeared on my screen. My posts are consecutive on the thread.

I’m not pretending anything. Are you going to pick on every other “irrelevant” post.

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:21

And that’s fine, but don’t get annoyed when your comment is irrelevant because you haven’t RTT and you’re called up on it.

And this ^^

So bloody what if 99% of the comments made are irrelevant - ignore them. You’re actually picking on me now, stop it.

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:23

@Venus

Why don’t you just stop responding so I can stop replying?

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:23

@HeadintheiClouds am I missing something here? Can you tell me what I’m doing wrong? I’m so bloody annoyed with this now

VenusTiger · 19/07/2019 12:24

@SagAloojah you’re making accusations that aren’t true... what do you expect?

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 12:25

I was talking to Sag. She has form for monitoring threads that don’t follow the course she dictates, and wading in to wag her finger

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:26

@HeadintheiClouds why are you following me on threads and being goady? Plenty of people called you out for being nasty on the HT thread.

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:27

@VenusTiger and you still won’t let it go! Stop tagging me!

HeadintheiClouds · 19/07/2019 12:29

I’m not following you! You don’t need an invitation to post on any thread, and I don’t recall being nasty, only being told off by you for giving an opinion you didn’t agree with.
You didn’t have to, it wasn’t offered to you.

SagAloojah · 19/07/2019 12:32

@Hairyheadphones

So other people didn’t tell you off for being nasty to OP? Selective memory or what Grin

Anyway, let’s stop this please, it’s getting into TAT territory and that’s not fair to OP.

Insanelysilver · 19/07/2019 22:20

Ooh crickey you need the wisdom of King Solomon to decide this one as you don’t really know which child was responsible for taking the wrong pair.
I am puzzled though about how the girls dad knew your daughter, might have his daughters boots? I mean if I saw someone with the same boots, I’d just assume we’d gone to the same shop, not that they belonged to us. And I presume they were only worn for the trip and not as every day school shoes? Do you think the two girls may have actually decided to swap and wear each other’s boots? It would explain how the dad was aware your dd had the same boots if he’s daughters said something .
I’d be inclined to ask the school if you can go in and search the lost property in the hope of finding your own boots so you can both end up with a pair. But other than that if there was no agreed swap and you don’t know which dc made the error, I think it’s entirely up to you to decide what you feel is fair.

mummmy2017 · 19/07/2019 22:44

OP got text.
Asked DD who didn't know she had wrong shoes
Dad's child had been using said shoes lots..
Seen wearing shoes for school walk months after school trip.
Dad only called for his back, after child lost a shoe ...
OP went to school searched , found her lost shoe, went and swapped shoes...
How much more do you want her to do?
Maybe if dad bends over she will wipe his but.

WillLokireturn · 19/07/2019 23:24

I totally think that Sagaloojah and Venus should no longer be tagged. They had a disagreement, it's done. And fine now. No one should be searching their history (omg why do PPs do this, it's rude! 🙄) or being otherwise difficult to either of them . They are probably very nice people who expressed their views some time ago, having had a minor disagreement that has now passed. We gotta help them, no one needs to extend their irritation nor misquote anyone. Each had their own views and in UK (if they are UK) free speech and all that, let's not revisit understandings xxx

Shall I tell you about the hedgehog that tried to come in my back door? He wasn't wearing anyone else's boots so wasn't a CF? 😮😍😆😆

WillLokireturn · 19/07/2019 23:25

revisit Mis*understandings

WillLokireturn · 19/07/2019 23:42

Also for anyone who hasn't RTFT - IT IS RESOLVED!! OP SORTED IT OUT ! In a kindly way! And dropped off other boots to CF dad.

OP was a really very sensible & went extra mile because she did a proper search at school rather than a half heated rubbish one, and it is clearly established now -without a doubt !- that the other dad was being a CF as his DD was wearing and using OPs DDs boots to school and that other child had lost one of the pair at school a month after trip accidental swop, and none of that was OPS fault !!

New boots which are now dirty and used by other child.

OP has dropped off other child's original boots having got back her now used by other child. 🙄 CF dad has his card marked.

And I don't think any of us could do anything other than give OP @daffalicious a gold medal for diplomacy. 🏅

WillLokireturn · 19/07/2019 23:46

@mummmy2017 😂😂😂

EleanorReally · 20/07/2019 09:48

at least you have Growing Room again

Petlover9 · 21/07/2019 05:59

With school shoes, ease up the insole and put a name in there - use a cut piece of plastic bag - write post code on the inside of the heel/instep. If your child has been wearing the boots for a month the other child could not have been that bothered about them if she has only just noticed them missing - perhaps the other child only began looking after her parents asked where they were. Get a name in them NOW and get/make your child a shoe bag