Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give back these shoes?

506 replies

daffalicious · 16/07/2019 22:16

My daughter went on a school trip a month ago with walking boots bought the day before so brand new. She has worn them a couple of times since.
Tonight I recieved a text from another parent saying that we have his daughters boots.. they are exact same and bought new for the trip but a size smaller.
I checked and it's true we have the smaller size (I insisted on buying the bigger size even though they needed insole and extra pair of socks!)
Of course we should swap back..BUT the dad says they have been searching at school but can only find 1 of my daughters size.
So it sounds as though his daughter has left the boots at school the past month and now 1 is lost.
AIBU to not want to return the pair my daughter is happily wearing to have 1/ none?! Especially when we have walks planned and I cannot afford to buy another pair!

OP posts:
DinoEggz · 16/07/2019 23:06

It's really unfortunate that your ones haven't been looked after by someone
If you take someone’s property you return it. If you damage or lose someone’s property you replace it. Of course OP has to return the boots she has, but she equally has a right to expect the other family to return her boots, or replace them if they can’t return them.

Skihound · 16/07/2019 23:06

As others have said it depends on where they were swapped / lost - how did your pair end up at school and not their house and has the other girl been wearing them / brought them home and has since lost one

WomanLikeMeLM · 16/07/2019 23:07

I would say happy to return boots once both of yours have been found and returned.

sailorcherries · 16/07/2019 23:07

How do you even know their child is at fault!? If the dad had to go to the school to look for both boots, as only one could be found in school, it seems likely the child returned home with none because your daughter has her bloody boots.

It's more than likely that your child lost hers and took those, intentionally or not.

HeadintheiClouds · 16/07/2019 23:07

The other girl didn’t leave your daughter’s shoes lying around for a month?! Your dd has nicked hers! Why are you assuming she should have simply helped herself to a pair that didn’t belong to her because hers had been diverted elsewhere?

cheesemongery · 16/07/2019 23:08

I just wouldn't have the audacity to knowingly keep somebody else's boots.

Whether yours is lost or not (I haven't seen it mentioned that you've looked for it yourself) to keep property that doesn't belong to you is just wrong.

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 16/07/2019 23:09

Are you sure the boots were lost by his DD? If you can’t tell the difference between the two sets of boots, perhaps your DD lost 1 boot and then found the other girls at school and thought they were hers? I think your planned response is fine as long as you know it was the other girl that lost the boot.

Also, you really should label stuff. I am a Primary school teacher and have been left holding nameless belongings that no one claims to own many times. Have also been approached by parents wanting to know where their kid’s nameless stuff is. So now I label all my kids stuff. Makes this sort of occurrence a lot easier.

sailorcherries · 16/07/2019 23:09

^^ exactly. The dad found 1 shoe in school and doesn't have the other, meaning this child didn't take the boots home and lose them and I can't see her emptying her bag of one shoe/going home in one shoe after a trip.

The boots were lost before the girls returned home. To suggest otherwise is weird.

Original poster
daffalicious · 16/07/2019 23:12

I have no idea what the other girl has been doing with the walking boots for the past month. This is the first I've heard about it this evening and I'll have to find out more tomorrow.

OP posts:
cheesemongery · 16/07/2019 23:12

why do you keep saying swapped? Do you think the girls made a conscious decision to swap boots?

No they didn't. It was a mix up. You need to return the boots that do not belong to you or your daughter and suck it up that you don't have your original pair.

I honestly can't even think why you would query it.

Ohyesiam · 16/07/2019 23:13

She did not look after her boots as she put on someone else's!!

That’s an interesting conclusion to leap to. We’re you there to witness it?

TheInvestigator · 16/07/2019 23:13

@sailorcherries
In my kids' schools, they need to wear outdoor shoes on the way in but once in school, they must change into plimsolls. No outdoor shoes are allowed to be worn in the classroom. My youngest went into school with 2 shoes on and came out with 1 because it got lost in school. Turns out some other kid and put it in his bag... no idea why! But it is very possible that the girl has been wearing the boots and then lost one in school.

Beautiful3 · 16/07/2019 23:15

Could you contact the school to ask if you can look through lost property. If you can find them, then you can swap them over.
However these boots don't belong to your daughter. Even if you dont find hers, you cannot keep someone else's.

cheesemongery · 16/07/2019 23:15

Are they magic golden boots?

HeadintheiClouds · 16/07/2019 23:15

She hasn’t had them for the past month Confused. One of your dds’ was missing so she took the other girl’s. The other girl rightly ignored the one boot belonging to someone else when searching for hers!
Give them back, you’ve stolen them.
What in earth are you finding so confusing about this?

HiJenny35 · 16/07/2019 23:15

Your child lost her boots, she has taken the other girls not her own! Tough that only one can be found if your child's. Don't be ridiculous. You have someone else's property, give it back. You should have checked you had your items when she returned. If I was the dad I'd be furious, firstly as it makes its seem like you knew your child had someone else's boots (who takes a different sized pair and doesn't realise) and were trying to take them because you couldn't find your own and secondly because you are messing him around rather than giving him his own property back!

PopGoesTheWeaz · 16/07/2019 23:15

What if your DD lost her boot on the trip? Went looking for them, saw two boots so picked up that pair? I don't think it's the other family's responsibility to find your DD's boot. However, you could ask for more clarity about when the boot went missing.

This. I think you are the CF here. Your DD has taken someone else's boots without asking (whether intentionally or not - seems weird that she wouldn't notice the wrong size) and has misplaced hers for a whole month. No one else's responsibility other than hers to find the missing boot.

As to how one boot showed up at school, I imaging teachers brought lost property after residential

viques · 16/07/2019 23:17

they have not looked after the pair they swapped

my daughter went on the trip and returned wearing the boots

Which were not the three day old one size too large needing an insole and extra socks boots she took with her.

I think I know who did the swapping!

sailorcherries · 16/07/2019 23:17

It's a residential trip. I doubt they got changed in to their plimsolls. I also doubt an adult, any adult, wouldn't notice a child going home in one shoe.

If the dad has resorted to going in to school to look for his child's boots and finding one there, it means no boots were at their house. The child never took the boots home.

Give the child their shoes back and accept the fact that your daughter also didn't look after her property properly, given she returned home with someone else's shoes.

Skihound · 16/07/2019 23:17

If she has been wearing them and has lost one I would expect a pair before swapping but if she left them st school because they were not hers then I think you have to swap, did the girls go into school
Immediately after trip or straight home ? If straight home then likely she has been wearing and lost one

TatianaLarina · 16/07/2019 23:20

You need to return them OP. It’s annoying but it’s just one of those things.

Solo · 16/07/2019 23:21

Phone the residential place and see if they have found the other boot? Seems reasonable that one might have been picked up and the other left in the place they stayed.

I don't know if you are unreasonable or not; I'd be livid but, I also put names in everything to try to avoid this kind of thing.

SavingSpaces2019 · 16/07/2019 23:24

Offer him one boot back.
His DD was negligent in looking after her shoes and she would still be down to one boot even if the swap hadn't happened.
SHE is responsible for the lost boot.
The dad is better off just buying a new pair.
Don't give the boots back until they return both yours.

escapade1234 · 16/07/2019 23:26

What an odd thread. You’ve got someone else’s property - give it back.

escapade1234 · 16/07/2019 23:27

I also think your daughter has been a bit crafty here.

Swipe left for the next trending thread