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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would ever give the police a false alibi for your partner?

155 replies

Pleaser256 · 16/07/2019 21:24

Me and DH randomly got onto this today and he asked if I ever would, if asked. I said no, regardless of what the “crime” was. He said he would for me, but not for murder!
Wondered what the general consensus of Mumsnet was!

OP posts:
rhubarbblossom · 16/07/2019 21:26

If there was the necessity of a police alibi being needed, I would probably dump my partner. I doubt the police need collateral statements willy nilly.

Scissor · 16/07/2019 21:26

Your partner is a liar.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 16/07/2019 21:27

No I wouldn't. If they were innocent I think it might jepodise their case if they were later found to be lying, and if they were guilty then no because its not the right thing to do, plus I might then also get into trouble as well which I wouldnt be prepared to do if he had committed a crime.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 16/07/2019 21:28

No, because if he needed a fake alibi, I clearly married the wrong man.

MoaningMinniee · 16/07/2019 21:28

It's a big fat no from me too. We talked about it when the political couple with the motoring offences came up a few years ago. I remember thinking I was glad we both thought the same about it then.

ScruffGin · 16/07/2019 21:28

Would depend why it was needed I think

AvengerDanvers95 · 16/07/2019 21:28

Never say never. If he went all Liam Neeson in Taken because someone had kidnapped the DC from a trip to Paris then maybe. Not if he shoplifted doughnuts from Greggs and hadn't shared them

IncrediblySadToo · 16/07/2019 21:28

Asking me cold, I’d say ‘no’ but in the heat if the moment if I truly believed he wouldn’t have done whatever it was I might would. The thing that would stop me would be the fear of making things worse.

However in a hypothetical conversation like you had today I’d say ‘yes of course I would’. Why upset him over a silly hypothetical event?

Morgan12 · 16/07/2019 21:28

Nope. I wouldn't risk going to jail for anyone except my kids.

Doje · 16/07/2019 21:30

No! And DH knows if he ever did anything illegal, I'd be the first one at the police station informing them!

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 16/07/2019 21:33

Nope not unless it was something regarding baby (we had a hypothetical discussion and he agreed to do the crime and time if it was to protect her) but seriously no as it would jeopardise any defence.

Davros · 16/07/2019 21:33

No. Makes me think of Maxine Thing and the Soham murders

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 16/07/2019 21:33

Morgan12 thats an interesting thouvht, I could easily see why people might do if for their kids...

Original poster
Pleaser256 · 16/07/2019 21:34

@IncrediblySadToo he wasn’t upset by what I said, he understood. Not only do I think it’s morally wrong, I am a catastrophiser and would stress endlessly about the worst case scenario (which he knows)

OP posts:
GoldenRule · 16/07/2019 21:34

No. I think I"d crumble at being cross examined by the prosecuting barrister and why put yourself on the line like that.

And because a partner who needed an alibi doesn't sound like a good person to have in your life (unless it was a Liam Neeson scenario as above :-) )

Original poster
Pleaser256 · 16/07/2019 21:36

@Davros I watched the Soham documentary that came on a few months ago and couldn’t work out if Maxine was stupidly naive, or desperately in love (or both).

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 16/07/2019 21:37

I know it's hypothetical but potentially I would. For example if a person had harmed our child ( let's say sexual abuse or serious physical abuse) and we knew 100% that the person was guilty but the police failed to bring a case to court of they got off for whatever reason. Then I believe I would be capable myself of doing damage to that person.

Sux2buthen · 16/07/2019 21:37

If he had the misfortune to have no alibi but I knew he hadn't done whatever and there was a ton of circumstantial evidence against him I probably would. He's a very unlucky man lol

Eastie77 · 16/07/2019 21:38

Well it depends. If DP attacked someone who did something terrible to one of our DC and I could save him from prison by providing a false alibi I might do. Perhaps.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/07/2019 21:39

Possibly.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 16/07/2019 21:40

Hmmm, I probably wouldn't.
Like pp said, I would be afraid it would do more harm than good, or jeopardise their case when/if it came out. (Or even if evidence appeared that helped their case, but contradicts their alibi).

I would also have to really think about the possibility they weren't innocent. Of course I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone I believed capable of a serious crime. (And if minor it's best to just take what's coming anyway rather than make things worse). But you never truly know - how many women do you see who are in a relationship with a rapist, murderer, abuser but insist they genuinely believe 100% their partner is innocent. I don't ever want to be that woman.

SimonJT · 16/07/2019 21:41

No, being locked in a police cell for one night is more than enough.

Fastloveinyoureyes · 16/07/2019 21:41

I know a number of people who’ve taken points for their partners and family members. I probably would do that.

Would I start lying during a rape/murder type scenario? Not in a million years

topcat2014 · 16/07/2019 21:42

I think the girlfriend of the train stabber (Pencill?) went to prison for a couple of months for "assisting an offender".

As per PP, I would be with the wrong person if this came up.

topcat2014 · 16/07/2019 21:43

@fastloveinyoureyes

What about the liberal democrat MP and his famous greek economist wife.

She went to prison for point swapping - as did he.