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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would ever give the police a false alibi for your partner?

155 replies

Pleaser256 · 16/07/2019 21:24

Me and DH randomly got onto this today and he asked if I ever would, if asked. I said no, regardless of what the “crime” was. He said he would for me, but not for murder!
Wondered what the general consensus of Mumsnet was!

OP posts:
goodfornothinggnome · 17/07/2019 00:18

If he needed me to lie, I'd presume he had committed whatever crime it was.
I would stand by him for everything except sexual abuses of any kind. At that point he would not be someone I could ever accept let alone protect.

Anything else, knowing him and his character, I would trust there was a reason that he was pushed.
I'd not feel comfortable learning that he was that kind of man, but I would of course stand by him and lie if it required it.
He has been the only person I've ever known who's stood by me.

WyfOfBathe · 17/07/2019 00:42

Nope. Not for my DH or my kids.

My exception is similar to what other people have mentioned above. If under a totalitarian regime it suddenly became illegal to be gay, to escape from slavery, etc I would provide an alibi for a loved one.

Andromeida59 · 17/07/2019 01:32

Nope. We've discussed this and he seemed briefly put out but I just wouldn't do it.

AquaPris · 17/07/2019 01:37

My partner would never commit a serious crime ie rape, murder, assault. If he did I would think that I didn't really know him after all.

AquaPris · 17/07/2019 01:38

Although yes, if he was Liam Neesoning for my DC then yes I would.

AquaPris · 17/07/2019 01:39

I'd probably get away with it too - despite feeling deep guilt over even the simplest lies and telling even the most painful truths I am actually a terrifyingly convincing liar.

BlueberryFool123 · 17/07/2019 07:48

AquaPris your answer is exactly what I was talking about. Majority of people on this thread would say my partner would not kill, rape, steal, but there are probably not many people who would marry/be with someone if they thought they could do those things.

The issue is people do do terrible things. Think of the newspaper interviews after, “he seemed such a nice quiet person”.

This is how people start giving alibis, “my partner could never do such a terrible thing...it must all be a terrible mistake...someone is framing him...so I will say...”

NC4Now · 17/07/2019 07:58

Perverting the course of justice always carries a prison sentence. I’m not sure I’d be helping anyone getting myself locked up.
There’s a high chance we’d both go down, then who would take care of the kids?
(Hypothetical indeed - I’m single).

ShatnersWig · 17/07/2019 07:59

No, but it's amazing on similar threads when the question is about giving your adult child an alibi or shopping them for murder or a very serious crime, a lot of people say they would give an alibi or lie for, or not shop, their their murderous/violent adult child.

familycourtq · 17/07/2019 08:04

No

Bumply · 17/07/2019 08:37

No. I'm a hopeless liar and the sort of person that when asked if person x (close to me) could have done y (from trivial to heinous crime) I'd say if you show me the evidence they did it I'll believe you.

FinallyHere · 17/07/2019 08:40

I would, like a shot

Knowing this, it's just as well that I married someone who is the last person to ever need a fake alibi.

Evennow · 17/07/2019 08:41

I would not. If a DP/H asked me to give a false alibi, he might have the attitude, 'If you loved me you would do it.' My response would be, 'If you loved me you wouldn't ask me to do so.'

MRex · 17/07/2019 10:36

I wouldn't have DH do a false alibi for me though, it's not worth it because he's an awful liar. Even a small child wouldn't be convinced by him.

maddening · 17/07/2019 10:42

No, because I am not risking my own freedom and relationship with my dc for anyone and by providing a false alibi I would be acting illegally and risking exactly that.

ToffeePennie · 17/07/2019 10:44

Hell no.
If he ever needed one, then there’s a bigger problem in our relationship than if I don’t give an alibi.

bengalcat · 17/07/2019 10:45

No I would always tell the truth

Ithinkmycatisevil · 17/07/2019 10:48

No way. If we both go to prison who looks after the kids?

Elliebellbell · 17/07/2019 10:51

I probably would but I have very little faith in the police and criminal justice system in my country. If I thought "justice" was real I might think different.

legalseagull · 17/07/2019 10:52

No. Perverting the course of justice carries a hefty jail sentence

CareerChaos · 17/07/2019 11:00

I would in the right circumstance!

Stoptheworldpleasethankyou · 17/07/2019 11:02

Depends what for and if I could genuinely provide a half decent alibi.

HennyPennyHorror · 17/07/2019 11:02

First answer that popped into my head was "no"

So no!

He's an adult and has to live with his own consequences!

magicstar1 · 17/07/2019 11:04

It would depend on the circumstances.
A few years ago a guy was shot and killed outside our local pub by a man on a motorbike. When the police were checking door to door and were told that dh and I had bikes. They asked where we were...the guy had been killed at 9.05. DH had gone out bring his bike to our lockup at 9.00 and returned at 9.15. Obviously it wasn't him, but for a few minutes it could have looked dodgy for him.

Asta19 · 17/07/2019 11:15

When I was a kid, my GP's lived in a country where you get one car number plate your whole life, registered to you, that you take from car to car. There's even a directory you can look up who owns any given number plate. My Grandad had the number plate details on his key ring and we went for a picnic in the woods and he lost his keys (grandma had a spare set to get home). A couple of days later someone got murdered in those woods (it definitely wasn't my grandad!). He was worried in case the keys were found nearby and he came under suspicion, but the murderer was caught so it was all ok.

I would happily have staked my life that my grandad wasn't a murderer! As I'm sure my grandma would have too. So, had it been necessary, I'm sure we would have given him an alibi. It's all very well to say if someone is innocent it will come out, but people do get wrongly convicted sometimes. And when someone you love, who you know would never in a million years be capable of the crime, of course you want to protect them.