To dislike when strangers ask me the age gap of my children?

[Elmo311]

I know this is probably irrational, but I have a small gap between kids.
I was in the post office today and the que was massive, as I was leaving this random woman asked me really loudly what my kids age gap is, I told her "it's not a very big one!" And left.
Why are people so nosey ?!

I think I'm annoyed because it was in the most quiet place, and I can imagine everyone's ears were tuned in!

Why to people need to know / ask, when they don't even know me? Especially in a post office FGS...

Rant over!

@Paramicha Everyday :)
But usually in baby groups, which I mind less.

Some people don’t always have a filter when they make small talk. There is quite a big gap between me and my sister and we used to get stopped loads by randoms to ask if she was my sister or mother. The age gap wasn’t big enough for her to have conceived so she used to get really pissed off.

@PapayaCoconut 25 at least...

You get it the other way too. My gap is 8years (16 and 8)and my boyfriend constantly gets asked it the eldest is his stepson (he not)
He likes to say the youngest isn't his and
Watch their brains whirl

I get this too - 6 and a half years between them. It screws with some people's minds - they cannot compute that both children are my husband's. Strangely they never ask me if they are both mine

Surely people ask you this all the time? It's a very small age gap, I have a slightly bigger gap of 15 months and I get asked if they are twins or what the age gap is all the time. It's an easy conversation starter for most people. My girls are still preschoolers so there is quite an obvious height difference between them so the twins comment always makes me smile

@SleepingStandingUp
So for you asking for children's ages is equal to asking about someone's sex life?

People are just asking to be polite. They don't actually care.

A friend of mine has two children six months apart (one is adopted) and gets asked about them all the time.

@WafflingDreamer I'm probably just getting used to it as the youngest is 14weeks old.
I have lots to look forward to then....!

@PCohle She could've not asked then seeing as I was leaving the shop and not making eye contact, there was no reason for her to make conversation with me really, other than her curiosity.

This thread has been an eye opener to me. I guess one man's nosy question is another man's friendly small talk. I feel old reading this, because nobody I know would consider that nosy. It's just chat between bored mothers in a long queue, surely? I don't think it'd bother me tbh but then I haven't got a chip on my shoulder the width of cheddar gorge.

@Charmatt Just goes to show, no matter how you do it there are always questions

Just say 8 months and watch their eyes swivel.

@hellodarkness There are other ways to start a conversation though. I don't think it means I have a chip on my shoulder just because I don't like being asked about my children's age gap by a random person when I'm leaving a shop.

People are just asking to be polite. They don't actually care.

Not if that's the only thing they ask. They clearly do care if they've gone out of their way to ask.

Thank you @Elmo311

She could've not asked then seeing as I was leaving the shop and not making eye contact, there was no reason for her to make conversation with me really, other than her curiosity.

Of course she could have, but that's a bit of a depressing attitude to take towards friendly small talk. I think it's nice that people like young kids and want to chat with mums - I really liked that sort of interaction when I was on mat leave. Viewing nice chit chat as wildly rude and intrusive seems a sad way to go about your day.

People ask me this all the time and I've never taken offence. We have two sets of twins spaced twenty months apart (and a baby), and people love to try to work out precisely HOW they're all related. It's fun!

Hi Amber!

@PCohle Everyone's different, I thought it was rude. I think she could've started the conversation better, but that's just my opinion. And I respect yours, I'm just not like that.

@meetthewildes You are amazing! I bet people must bug you with questions all the time. It's good that you enjoy it.

I appreciate that but I do think you only feel like it's rude because it's a subject you're particularly sensitive about.

It would never cross my mind to judge someone or really have a view on how close or far apart their kids are so it would occur to me as a subject to avoid.

Whereas fertility for example is a topic that is sensitive for lots of people so asking if someone was planing more kids etc would, to my mind, be totally rude.

I had a small age gap and a tall second child. People went on and on about my lovely twins. Parents of twins...you have my sympathy.... people also freely asked if I got 'caught out' ....oh fuck off I thought to my frazzled self (actually I got 'caught out' with the first, but quite liked her and planned the second one as soon as poss)

@SmartPlay well they're basically wondering how quickly after the first op had sex... But the point is people ask lots of damn personal questions. Like I said earlier, I get it a lot with people asking what's wrong with my son. Not as small talk, not in a chat. Just a random stranger walking up, looking at him, asking then wandering off when I tell them

@hellodarkness a random question blurted out to a passing stranger isn't small talk. Op was leaving, she was walking past the woman as she left. Thry weren't stood next to each other staving off boredom

Be grateful you don't have twins OP.
Are they natural?
Did you have ivf?
Do twins run in your family?
My cousin had to have ivf.
Etc, etc.
I don't particularly want to discuss my fertility with total strangers.