Smoking (and commenting on strangers choices)?

[SwimmerGirl40]

I did a charity walk up Helvellyn at the weekend. I was standing with the group before we started and one of the group moved about 10 metres away and started smoking a cigarette. I don’t know him too well, he’s a friend of my friends husband, I know he plays rugby and is healthy looking. A woman walked past and shouted, in a very posh voice, “all this fresh air and you’re SMOKING?”. She almost spat the words out. I was quite taken aback, is it normal to walk past a complete stranger and try to publicly humiliate them for their lifestyle choices?

I’m not a smoker now, I quit about 15 years ago. I know attitudes to smoking have hardened in the last 15 years but I was still shocked that she felt that she could speak to him like that.

@stillcoughingandlaughing
As per my previous posts:
She stopped walking down the path and walked up towards him (he was standing a good 10m away from the path so that he didn’t blow smoke on anyone).

She spat the words at him, angrily.

Maybe he felt threatened by an angry women heading towards him?

He wasn’t just being affected by the smoke, he was making a point of telling them he disapproved. He could have just walked around the smoke and got on with what he was doing.

Smoke lingers, it spreads, it's often not as simple as walking around.

So, if you see a fat parent with fat kids walking down the street, eating crisps. Is it appropriate to point out the link between diet and obesity?

Are they affecting me? Are they putting crisps in MY mouth? No.

Does second hand smoke affect me? Have I had a coughing fit because of someone else smoking? Does it go into my lungs? Yes.

Although, apparently I'm not allowed to cough because I'm overweight. Still, at least you'll get a laugh out of it.

@slashlover

So based on your comments so far, you would be perfectly happy if someone came up to you and commented on the strain that obese people put on the NHS?

She probably got a huge ward of smoke in her face and didn't take kindly to it, when up a mountain trying to enjoy nature at its finest. I personally wouldn't have said anything in her shoes, as I'm not confrontational, but I would have been annoyed. I purposely avoid smokers and will cross the road if possible to avoid having smoke blown in my face. Maybe she has a huge aversion to smoking, and like many, think it's should be banned at natural beauty spots, as it hampers the enjoyment of the majority of others. Smokers can sometimes be pretty selfish, and can be completely oblivious to how irritating it is for non smokers. I told someone to move away from me for smoking before when we were waiting under a shelter for a coach, as it was raining. He tried to creep under the already cramped shelter to avoid the rain, and then tried to light a cigarette. I had my baby with me at the time, so obviously couldn't stand out in the rain, so told him to move out from the shelter. He told me I didn't own the shelter and he could stand where he wanted. Luckily other people started to voice their disapproval and told him it was selfish to smoke so close to others, especially with a newborn baby there, and he reluctantly skulked off. Just proves how selfish and oblivious some people can be to the smell, and the well documented negative effects of second hand smoke.

@Untamedtoad
She didn’t get a load of smoke in her face. He was standing about 10 metres away from the path and the smoke was blowing the other way. We were standing on the same path she was in and we couldn’t smell the smoke at all. He smoked a few times during the walk and always walked away from people to smoke.

I agree that the man in the bus shelter should not have been smoking near your baby but this was a different situation.

So based on your comments so far, you would be perfectly happy if someone came up to you and commented on the strain that obese people put on the NHS?

That's not what happened though is it? If I was eating a sausage roll and covered them in pastry crumbs then I'd expect them to say something. If I was having a drink and spilled some on them then I'd expect them to say something. If I was smoking and they had to walk through a cloud of smoke then I'd expect them to say something.

But you don't know 100% if any smoke blew in her direction. If she's hyper sensitive to the smell, it could easily have wafted her way. I can smell smoke a mile off, and it literally makes me puke. It started when I was pregnant 5 years ago, and hasn't gone away. It's a really strong aversion, and I will purposely avoid overcrowded spaces where I may get trapped near smokers because it makes me physically heave. And that's before I even think about the second hand smoke issues. It's one of the very few bad habits people can have, which does directly adn negatively impact others around them everytime they indulge, and for that reason, I do think people are entitled to express their displeasure. I'm glad people are becoming less and less tolerant of it, as hopefully it will mean a future generation of far less smokers, with far less health issues as a result.

Maybe he felt threatened by an angry women heading towards him?

Strange for a ‘big rugby bloke’ who, only a couple of pages ago, who said would happily take on a man in the same situation.

@slashlover

But we all pay for the NHS, the more money that is spent on obese people the less there is to spend on other things.

I don’t see how someone who is obese is any different from a smoker, in that respect. Both are choosing to damage their health and be more of a strain than necessary on the NHS.

Of course smokers pay so much tax on each packet of cigarettes they buy that they are funding their own healthcare. Obese people aren’t charged any extra for the treatment they receive from the NHS for obesity related diseases.

I don’t see how someone who is obese is any different from a smoker, in that respect. Both are choosing to damage their health and be more of a strain than necessary on the NHS.

Explain how an obese person damages my health in the same way as a smoker does. You are trying to create a false equivalency to back up your argument. We are not discussing the NHS, we are discussing how you chuckled because an obese man coughed when inhaling second hand smoke.

@slashlover
By being obese you are damaging your own health. You are expecting the NHS to treat you for obesity related diseases because you don’t have the self control to eat less and do some exercise. Your actions do have an impact on other people.

@Untamedtoad
That’s a pretty extreme reaction though and one that most people won’t have. I don’t like the smell of smoke (or vape) but I don’t expect smokers and vapers to quit because I don’t like it.

I have a friend who is extremely allergic to dogs. He doesn’t go to the houses of people who have dogs. His allergy is so extreme that he sometimes sneezes if he has to sit next to a dog owner for too long - this was recently an issue for him at work so he just asked if he could be moved away from the dig owning colleague. Dog owning colleague wasn’t even offended once she understand the issue. My friend has never said that he expects the UK to become dog free due to his allergy though.

I think about 15% of the population still smoke (I’ll check the figures in a minute) which means that 3 people out of 20 that you encounter while you’re out may be smoking. It’s a minority but it’s a sizeable minority and you can’t expect them to not smoke, in the few places that they’re still allowed to smoke, just because it irritates you. It’s your responsibility to avoid them if it annoys you that much.

I would have agreed with the woman and apologized for my friend lighting up at a charity walk. Then I wouldn’t do another one with him because he was completely out of line.

@Untamedtoad

I wasn’t far off.

14.9% of the population smoke and another 4.5% of the population vape.

Which is exactly why I said I actively try to avoid places where I know there will be big crowds and many smokers!? That's not saying I expect people not to smoke anywhere, I make the conscious desicion to avoid areas where it will be worse, and when I do encounter a smoker, I will go out of my way to avoid them. Example at Disneyland, I think that's somewhere it should be banned, or only accepted in designated smokers areas. When waiting to watch a performance one night a smoker came and stood directly next to us, again, we had small children with us, and starting lighting up. It was just plain rude, disrespectful and spoilt our evening as we then had to move, lost our good spots that we'd stood in for 20 mins waiting, and had to take in turns holding children up on our shoulders/in the air so they could see, as we ended up right at the back so we could easily get away from any more smoke clouds. Smokers can be utterly oblivious to how much they strink, and how fucking selfish their habits can be. It may seem extreme to you, but it's an aversion that makes me physically ill, I cannot control it. But like I said, even if it weren't for that, the second hand smoke dangers are more than enough for anyone to say "hang on, why should my health have to be jepardised by your selfish act?" I don't think it's rude to state that you don't wish to inhale someone's toxic fumes that they're blowing out into the air is it? Are we just meant to pretend we enjoy it out of politeness?! Especially in natural places of beauty and scenic areas, that others go to enjoy, for their well-being and health, or places aimed at the enjoyment for children. I don't want my kids around that, as I'm sure most people don't. It's grim as hell.

Strange for a ‘big rugby bloke’ who, only a couple of pages ago, who said would happily take on a man in the same situation.
I know. It's very strange.

First the guy on thr receiving end did nothing.
Now his doing nothing means he was clearly intimidated because of this woman who was obviously putting him in danger so his mates had to step in to protect him. (Looks like my silly reply was an effective prediction of where this was going).

Even assuming that was the case and he was quaking in his boots, I'm not sure how his rugby mates yelling at a woman that she is walking her dog because nobody wants her is possibly protecting him.

And we are meant to believe they would yell at lone people in situations that don't concern them and they'd totally behave in the same way towards a bloke.

I despise smoking but wouldn't say anything to anyone who do smoke. Although I bloody hate it when I accidentally walk through their nasty smoke clouds, yuk.

Generally speaking, it isn't a good idea to seek out confrontation.

The bottom line is that this man was going about his lawful business when he was suddenly on the receiving end of an unprovoked verbal attack.

It doesn't matter if you personally disagree with smoking or personally dislike the smell - the law says that he was entitled to stand there and smoke, so he shouldn't have been the recipient of verbal aggression.

As I said upthread, the pile-on of personal attacks following the initial reasonable defence was uncalled for and wrong - but ultimately the woman began the unpleasant exchange, so my sympathy for her is limited.

She was rude. His bully friends were rude. Lots of cunts atop that hill...!

Personally, I wish smoking was illegal outside, and smokers were only permitted to produce their toxic, stinking, cancer inducing smoke inside their own private houses, where it doesn’t affect the public!
I would be furious at having a beautiful mountain walk polluted by smoke. It’s bad enough going out after washing my hair and having to walk past a smoker on the way to the village shop, meaning I have to wash my hair again when I get home to get the clinging stink out.
I spent 36 years as a hospital doctor, dealing with the appalling damage of cigarette smoke on my patients - I certainly don’t want to breathe any of that shit myself.

Of course smokers pay so much tax on each packet of cigarettes they buy that they are funding their own healthcare.

This isn’t really true, it it? For one thing, not all of the tax paid on tobacco goes to the NHS. For another, tobacco tax raises £9.5billion per year. The cost of smoking to the NHS is estimated to be in the region of £5billion per year. But there are the other costs to society caused by smoking that need to be considered - the cost of street sweeping to collect fag ends from the pavement, the economic cost of people taking smoking breaks at work and having to have sick days for smoking-related illnesses, the fire brigade putting out fires caused by smoking. The Treasury estimated the overall cost to society of smokers as being about £14billion. That estimate, however, was based on an old estimate of the cost to the NHS as £2.9billion and we now know it’s nearer £5billion, so the overall cost to society is likely nearer to £16billion. That leaves £4billion in costs caused by smokers, but shared between all tax payers. Smokers really aren’t paying for themselves...

One thing I suppose that’s hard to quantify is the fact that smokers tend to die younger, so there could be a saving in the geriatric care they might otherwise have received. I would be surprised if that came close to £4billion though...

And, of course, none of this addresses the direct damage caused on an individual basis by smokers. Obesity does cost the NHS, but someone having a doughnut on a park bench doesn’t impact on my health in any way at all. Someone having a fag within ten feet of me could well. My gran died of lung cancer without ever smoking a cigarette in her life, because of the years she spent inhaling second hand smoke in the staff room of the school she worked in. So there is a very clear limit to how far you can compare smoking and obesity in terms of harm caused to society.

Sorry, but she literally started something for no good reason. She got a few comments back. Mean ones, yes, but she might keep her silly mouth shut next time and not start on random strangers in an angry, judgemental fashion.

I don’t think I’ve ever really had comments about smoking, not to my face anyway. Surely the sensible thing to do is just ignore them.

Lol this is all ridiculous. Like it or not he has the legal right to smoke outside. Getting huffy with op won't make a shites worth of difference
Nobody should be mouthing off at anyone over something perfectly legal

A woman made some inane comment about smoking, that a smoker must of heard countless times. (Water off a ducks back? )
I guess it comes down to how it was said, which seems to have been embellished along the way, it started off as a woman with a POSH voice shouted in passing, the loud pitch may or may not be her normal speaking voice, to woman made a detour to shout angrily in smokers face.
Obviously lone woman should mind her own business, but to some people this kind of commentary passes as small talk not judgement, either way it’s a bit of a non event that didn’t necessitate a pile on by a group of men, who behaved far worse imo.