Smoking (and commenting on strangers choices)?

[SwimmerGirl40]

I did a charity walk up Helvellyn at the weekend. I was standing with the group before we started and one of the group moved about 10 metres away and started smoking a cigarette. I don’t know him too well, he’s a friend of my friends husband, I know he plays rugby and is healthy looking. A woman walked past and shouted, in a very posh voice, “all this fresh air and you’re SMOKING?”. She almost spat the words out. I was quite taken aback, is it normal to walk past a complete stranger and try to publicly humiliate them for their lifestyle choices?

I’m not a smoker now, I quit about 15 years ago. I know attitudes to smoking have hardened in the last 15 years but I was still shocked that she felt that she could speak to him like that.

Were you on Helvellyn over the weekend?
Ok I see.

OP: AIBU? Posh woman passes man and makes uncalled for rude , man ignores, mates pile in
Most posters: yeah the woman was rude but the mates were out of order
OP: But... escalates story, aggressive woman, walks off the path directly to the man
Most posters: she was rude, but it doesn't account for the group reaction
OP: But his mates probably only said something because she was so confrontational
Most posters: still doesn't excuse the pile on and the women t's grounded in misogyny
OP: yes but.. but... she was probably seeking attention
Most posters: that's sexist. She was rude but there's no need to assume she was seeking male attention
OP: So women should be able to say what they like because they're women and you're all judging the men, some of you are so sexist
Most posters: still doesn't excuse the pile on
OP: Some of you are so illogical, you're making all sorts of things up and youre delluded and it's all in your head.
... and anyway none of you were there so NERRR you can't possibly give a comment at all because I'm right!

Most posters: sit wondering what the point of a thread is in AIBU when the OP wants to be told they're right.

SwimmerGirl40

@LaMarschallin

It’s a typo, so what?

Just that you pulled somebody up about commenting on your fussing about about someone mentioning your "DH" when you actually mentioned your partner.
So, yes, no such person as your DH exists
But you told them a "typo" was something they'd done, like confusing where/were.

That's what.

And, goodness me, my compliments! You're a quick typist, going by your responses on this thread.
You must have been hunched avidly over your keyboard all afternoon.

I've just had a catch up, so do forgive me if I don't answer your inevitable self-jusification immediately.

I do wonder what on earth you hoped to get out of this thread though.

@lamarschallin

A typo is your phone autocorrecting to we’re when you many where, or they’re when you meant their.

Claiming that my DH and his friends are unpleasant, blatantly made up to bolster an argument, when I had already pointed out that the group in question were friends of a friends husband is completely different.

I was asking a simple question - is it ok to walk up to a stranger and aggressively comment on their, perfectly legal activity, just because you don’t like what they are doing?

What are you adding to the thread?

I was asking a simple question - is it ok to walk up to a stranger and aggressively comment on their, perfectly legal activity, just because you don’t like what they are doing?

If this was your simple question, why include the whole bit about his friends bullying her?

Still haven’t said whether or not you told them they’d gone too far...

I was asking a simple question - is it ok to walk up to a stranger and aggressively comment on their, perfectly legal activity, just because you don’t like what they are doing?
Dear me OP, we established she was rude and unreasonable on page 1.
10 pages later and you've still not got the message that people agree she was rude.

Lolasmiles has it.

I cannot believe this thread is still ongoing and the OP still arguing her point.

The exact same point as 18 hours ago.....

Oh well. The thread is in the Daily Mail now.

I haven’t been on mumsnet for ages, got sick of all the sniping.

Doesn’t look like much has changed.

I was asking a simple question - is it ok to walk up to a stranger and aggressively comment on their, perfectly legal activity, just because you don’t like what they are doing?

If that was all you wanted to know why include information about how his friends went in mob handed to intimidate a lone woman.

From your lack of ability to understand the vast majority of posters on this thread are agreeing she was wrong but you continue to minimise your friends (or friends of friends) subsequent dreadful behaviour, you all sound perfectly suited to each other. Are you the same in the workplace? Hope you don't manage anyone, you would be a nightmare to work for as you just don't listen to reason (personal insults from multiple people sting eh?)

Claiming that my DH and his friends are unpleasant, blatantly made up to bolster an argument, when I had already pointed out that the group in question were friends of a friends husband is completely different.

But this isn’t relevant. So some people thought you knew these men better than you do. It has zero bearing on whether their behaviour or that of the woman was unreasonable. To suggest this is somehow an attempt to sully the good name of your non-existent husband and his friends is frankly bizarre.

But this isn’t relevant.

Absolutely. Totally agree.

Although, if the story's in the Mail now, perhaps the OP'S work here is done.