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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think something must have happened

185 replies

MrsDragonLady · 14/07/2019 20:59

Early last year, DH gave up his job to be a stay at home dad, so that I could change my career. The job I had taken was crap hours and pay, but it was entry into a field that didn’t come up very often.

Now, 18 months on, I’ve secured a better job and the hours mean he will be able to go back to work too, something which he had always planned on doing.

He applied back to the company he had left, but on a different department. He got rejected before interview. So he applied again back onto the department he had left. He had 9 years experience and had been put forward by a former colleague that was still in the department. The manager wasnt the same one as when he left. He was basically offered the job at interview, but got told he would have to wait for the official email from head office to confirm. A week later he got a “after much deliberation, we have decided not to offer you the job” email! He contacted for feedback and got told he wasn’t the right fit for the position, but they would consider him for future roles.

Fast forward two months, he’s applied for 8 more jobs at that company and been rejected for them all.

He’s now moved onto applying at different companies and having the same issue with every single one. He’s getting an interview, being provisionally offered the job, then after being passed on to head office he gets a rejection email around a week later.

Could it just be a massive coincidence, or am I right in thinking that something must have happened for him to keep being rejected like this. He’s applied for well over 30 jobs now in various postions, companies and for different hours and not been considered for any of them!

OP posts:
SilentAlarm · 14/07/2019 22:58

Is he definitely getting to interview stage? Perhaps he’s being declined before that point but is too embarrassed/disappointed/whatever to tell you so pretends he is having interviews when he isn’t? Have you seen the rejection emails post interview or just been told about them?

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/07/2019 23:00

The interview process doesn’t involve a psychometric test, or similar, by any chance does it?
DH and I worked together for years in the same IT company, a small company with some excellent colleagues who we know were knowledgeable, invaluable, experienced, well respected by clients etc etc. DH moved to another company eight years ago. Not long after they were taken over by an American company that insists on PTests alongside interviews and references. He’s pretty high up. He’s been approached by, and given a personal recommendation to, approx six ex colleagues. I’ve worked for DH at the new company, I KNOW the work and I KNOW these people would be excellent additions to the company. So, despite excellent interviews, relevant experience, excellent references, only ONE of them passed the PTest and despite being in need of people like them, DH’s company will just not employ them if they don’t pass the test. Anything like that maybe? Either that or
Somebody has marked "do not rehire" on his file

HeadintheiClouds · 14/07/2019 23:02

Nobody wants to be the manager who hires the guy who’s been rejected by 9 other departments, op. It’s not going to happen, he needs to move on.
How is he not completely embarrassed by now?

brownjumper · 14/07/2019 23:02

Has he asked for feedback as to why he hasn't got a job?

RunsForGummyBears · 14/07/2019 23:02

Most men benefit at work by becoming fathers, I think something else is up.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/07/2019 23:04

How do you befit at work by becoming a father?

Unburnished · 14/07/2019 23:05

He said the manager told him he would make a good addition to the team, as he has experience whereas a lot of the other applicants, it was their first job and they would need training etc. He told me the manager told him just to look out for the email and then they could arrange his start date and online training

This doesnt make sense (the training bit - no need for training but do online training - and why would they offer him a job on the spot but not follow up (the email bit). I think he’s bullshitting.

What type of work is it? Which industry?

What would be the consequences if he didnt go back to work?

HeadintheiClouds · 14/07/2019 23:07

Why is he applying for entry level jobs when he has this wealth of experience? It doesn’t make any sense, tbh?

Chocolatefrog27 · 14/07/2019 23:09

Is he deliberately fluffing the interviews so he doesn't have to go back to work?

stupidboyman · 14/07/2019 23:18

He should put in a data request if he genuinely doesn't know what is going on. Does he work in a closed industry?

MrsDragonLady · 14/07/2019 23:21

He has stopped applying for the company he left now. He’s applied for more experienced jobs, but wasn’t getting them, so started applying for less senior roles in the hopes that he could start afresh in a new company and work his way back up.

The training relates to company regulations and some things that have to be renewed every few years. (food safety, hygiene)

This is probably massively outing but he is a butcher. He’s stopped applying for butcher roles and started applying just for general assistant jobs now (in other companies).

If he didn’t go back to work, we could survive, but we would have to tighten our belts slightly. He would have to give up his hobbies (a pretty expensive sport) which is something I know he doesn’t want to do. So it’s in his interests to go back rather than mine.

OP posts:
thetimekeeper · 14/07/2019 23:25

What industry does he work in that regularly offers people jobs on the spot at interview?

Applying for ten vacancies at the same place is never really a good idea. It screams desperation.

Not sure though why pp keep saying how he only left the old job for a "couple of months" when you've clearly stated it has been 18. Eighteen months is significantly longer than two months and I'm not sure many employers would grant (indefinite) unpaid leave of that duration!

onlywanttosleep · 14/07/2019 23:27

Have you tried googling him, employers often do?

Gwenhwyfar · 14/07/2019 23:27

"Most companies wont let you back for 12months. They also wont let you apply to positions more than once every 12months."

What? I've never heard about this. Most places I've left have said they'd be happy to hire me again. What's the reason for the 12-month ban.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/07/2019 23:30

"How do you befit at work by becoming a father?"

Employers think you will be much more motivated to make money to support your family I suppose. Possibly also less likely to move from a secure job.

thetimekeeper · 14/07/2019 23:31

Oh. X post.

Could he redo the trainings off his own back now or is that prohibitively expensive? Might make him a more appealing and easier prospect to hire if he's already brought himself back up to date, and would also demonstrate initiative, commitment, willingness to put in the effort to get back up to speed etc.

I most definitely do not know enough about his field to comment, but perhaps a couple of sessions with someone on interview skills (eg doing mock interviews and getting frank feedback) but also engage the services of someone who could help him identify other avenues and paths that would use his skills?

Gwenhwyfar · 14/07/2019 23:32

"it would be HIGHLY unusual to be offered a job in the interview,"

Really? I've been offered jobs at the interview, or at least while I was still in the building. I think it might be more common in small organisations where your interviewer doesn't have to check with someone higher up.

3luckystars · 14/07/2019 23:36

He's a butcher?
I heard he caught his Mickey in the sausage maker.

(She got fired too)

Hahaha. Sorry only joking.

Can he open his own shop though?

thetimekeeper · 14/07/2019 23:37

Also, as an aside, where I work is always happy to rehire good people. Providing we have a vacancy/business need for an extra person.

HeadintheiClouds · 14/07/2019 23:40

It is unusual, Gwen. What industry are you in?

JamesBlonde1 · 14/07/2019 23:41

I suspect they're worried that if any more kids come along, he'll be the one leaving work and not you. Bam - they have to find someone else. Employers don't want to waste time like that.

xtinak · 14/07/2019 23:41

Not sure if this was mentioned yet but, illegal blacklisting? www.redpepper.org.uk/how-to-know-if-youve-been-blacklisted-what-you-can-do/

Gwenhwyfar · 14/07/2019 23:55

"It is unusual, Gwen. What industry are you in?"

I can't say which sectors because they're a bit niche, but I was given two permanent office admin jobs where I was told just after the interview.
Also temp jobs, but those are different of course, and the service jobs I did as a teenager were usually just a case of present yourself and if there's no major problem you'll be told that you'll do.

As I said, I think the reason is that I've worked for small places where the interviewer doesn't have to check with anyone else before giving you the job.

hadthesnip2 · 15/07/2019 00:32

Sorry butch smell bullshit from your dh. No one has that amount of interviews, told the job "is in the bag" and then dont get one of them.

Either he is sabotaging the interviews or something happened at his previous job that is stopping him getting a new one.

Thump · 15/07/2019 01:16

It's probably the good old 'gap in your CV - you say you were a SAHD, we're not buying it'.

Welcome to the world.