AIBU to think that just as a male should not slap a woman's face ,a woman shouldn't slap a man ?

[peridito]

Son slapped in face by girlfriend . Night out ,son went outside club/bar to speak to friends ,girlfriend offended and came out and slapped him.

Appreciate there may be more to it than I know ,but is it ever right to slap someone round the face ?

Son seems ok with it ,but I'm not .

The advice to a woman who is hit by a man is to de escalate, get away, tell someone, get to safety, assuming you are able (not incapacitated).

The advice to a man who is hit by a woman is hit her back. Or hold her off.

The power balance is obvious in the advice. It assumes that the woman is in way more danger than the man.

For individuals, and rarely surely, in an outside the pub, unarmed situation that we are talking about here, this will not be the case.

But why we are being told to ignore the obvious difference in beyond me.

Maybe it's because I am on the small side, I know that I would lose a fight with any man, and fast. I have been punched in the face by a random man, I went flying through the air literally (left the ground) landed on my back. Suspected fractured jaw. I am not tiny though. 5'3 is small side but not remarkably small by any stetch.

No one should hit anyone. Obviously.

To say its equality that men should hit women back, when women are never advised this (and we all know why), while still claiming that its exactly the same is silly.

Are women as a group as big, strong and violent as men as a group? Apparently avoiding to equality we must ptetend they are, and women who hit a man and bruise him are as bad as men who hit women and kill them. As suggested upthread.

This is all silly.

No one should hit anyone.
But.
Consequences matter.

The advice to a man who is hit by a woman is hit her back. Or hold her off.

When you say 'the advice' where is this advice from? Because I cant say I have ever heard an official advice saying 'men if a woman hits you, hit her back's

Surely the advice would be to remove yourself if possible before you consider the need to restrain the woman hitting you.

Restraining her or hitting her back would not be the first things to do.

Not ok really, but if I cheated I'd expect a slap and the other way around I'd give one too.

*Honflyr

Not ok really, but if I cheated I'd expect a slap and the other way around I'd give one too

Wow!

@Honflyr

Not ok really, but if I cheated I'd expect a slap and the other way around I'd give one too.

Hmm, really? Me personally, if my DH cheated on me, I would be packing his bags for him and filing for divorce.

But each to their own eh?

"She asked if people really think its ok. That's it.“

And everyone has said “no it’s not”. Is that where you want the thread to end?

Seems sensible. No, it's not ok. Ever. Hope your ds gets the hell away from her as soon as possible.

The advice to a man who is hit by a woman is hit her back. Or hold her off.

What advice?

Sounds like a case of too many sherbets

I think people need to be careful when they start throwing their weight around because you never know what might happen. I saw a woman hit a man once on a night out and he knocked her out. Completely unconscious. She was actually very fortunate not to be killed as she was hit very hard and it was a pavement. It was sickening. I hate violence of any kind.

Who exactly is advising men to hit women back? Are you sure that's not just something you made up?

Who exactly is advising men to hit women back? Are you sure that's not just something you made up?
Well its certainly not something Lancashire Constabulary advocate, and there hasn't been any government announcements on News at 10 so I will just assume it homespun ill advice!advice until I hear anything official.Potential dangerous and life endangering!

I agree with @BertrandRussell

There was a woman who posted recently in Relationships about kicking her DP after he was physically aggressive to her and she was crucified by posters for daring to kick him. She had been goaded into kicking at him but everyone focused on her kicking him and not him scaring her. The woman PMed me to say how the response on here had scared her and I felt so sorry for her and urged her to go to the police. That man goaded her into kicking him so that he could hit her harder and I believe the police would have seen it the same way.

I think someone down the thread said to hit back. And there are many people who teach their children to hit back. All that hideous “Never start it but always finish it” stuff we teach our children.

At least 1 poster on here has said hit back.

We have a good example of good advice being followed a few posts up as well.

This advice, not good advice!

Yes at least 1

1 said if a woman hits a man he should hit her back
A different poster in the follow up to that remark said the only time it was OK to hit was in self defence (so in context that men should retaliate).

It's not official advice but certainly advice some are giving.

When you put this next to the idea that level of injury is irrelevant when assessing level of harm, things really do get interesting.

She had been goaded into kicking at him

I have a real problem with anyone claiming they were goaded into physically attacking someone. I don't believe anyone is goaded into violence. The only excuse if it is in self defence and you have absolutely no other options.

Using that excuse allows men to claim "she made me do it" as an excuse.

@SagAloojah no one is 'goaded' into kicking or hitting anyone. To suggest that is an acceptable excuse is wrong.

Men use she made me do it as an excuse all the time.

Many men react with extreme aggression and violence to women's words. I've seen it and been on the wrong end of it multiple times.

In the courts recently we see that provocation as a defence for vawg has been replaced with consent.

Even though. Iirc, case law says people can't consent to severe injury or murder, that was decided in a case with 2 men though.

The dynamics with all of this are fucked.

Clearly no one should be hitting anyone in the first place. To ignore the dynamics and consequences in favour of some kind of equality is not going to end well for women though.

Hitting in self defence is fine depending on the context. It's not about retaliation, it's about using the minimum necessary force to prevent yourself or someone else being hurt. You dont just have to cower in a corner whilst an attacker lamps you. Obviously if other options eg running away are available to you, you should take them but the law doesn't require you to stand there turning the other cheek.

Men use she made me do it as an excuse all the time.

And it's wrong.

But you can hardly claim that men can't use it as an excuse whilst at the same time claiming that women can be goaded into using violence.

Yes I know that barbarian.

That's diffetent to saying, if a woman hits you, you should hit her back.

'
Self defence is supposed to be proportionate.

What you end up with is as per pp example
'. I saw a woman hit a man once on a night out and he knocked her out. Completely unconscious. She was actually very fortunate not to be killed as she was hit very hard and it was a pavement.'

The idea that if a woman hits a man then all bets are off, is popular idea amongst some groups, mainly its a warning to women. Step out of line and we'll show you whose boss, and little to nothing to do with self defence.

I never said women can be goaded violence.

I have said no one should hit anyone.

Misattributing posts like that is not on.

And i see you day men should be allowed to use provocation as an excuse/reason. Thing is men get provoked at the tiniest things all the time eg women saying no to advances.