MIL stuffing her face at ours

[jamiecooks]

I probably ABU BUT MIL driving me mad! She never has any food at hers (pleads poverty but that's a whole other story) - came to ours the other day to look after our baby (we pay her for doing this despite SIL having 5 years of free child care) and basically chomped through almost a whole packet of chocolate hobnobs. They were in a tub in the corner of a cupboard so she also obviously went looking for them.

Previously she'd also been in my cupboard and helped herself to the posh chocs my DH had bought me for my birthday! After that, I started having to hide nice food but didn't get chance to this time as her coming to ours was unexpected - logistical reasons which DH organised without telling me.

She's also previously looked at financial documents in our house (I know because something had been left out and moved and she is very nosy by her own admittance) and I had been doing a tax return the other day so had left out my folders with all my statements/payslips etc in at top of stairs to put away - had I known she was coming I'd have put it all away but I didn't know and when I got home it was clear she had been looking at it as docs were popping out of folder which weren't before, specifically my pay slip so she now presumably knows what I earn

AIBU?

I love how many people don’t know how much hob nobs cost. It’s like the “pint of milk” test

I don't check the price of every single item when I am doing an online shop, what's so bizarre about it?

This is really sad. The OP says in her first post that she normally hides her nice food because of the chocolate incident, when did chocolate hobnobs become something to savour? Surely anyone with common courtesy would say to their family that they can help themselves to whatever when they’re looking after your child, especially if you know they never have any food in at home and are skint.

Maybe if it really bothers you that much OP you should reconsider her looking after your baby, yes it will cost more money but you won’t have to shell out on hobnobs that she’s eaten 😳

No sense of boundaries whatsoever. I sucked it up until l could say 'we don't need you anymore, thank you for your help' through gritted teeth

Wow I can’t wait to be a grandma!

I just hoover down any available chocs myself - the notion of "posh" doesn't come into it for me.

If it is in the house it gets eaten.

A packet of hobnobs is a lot to get through in one day

Really? I could get through a packet with one cup of tea.

But maybe you're right, the way forward is to get her treats in (though I have done this before and she's said she doesn't want them) so she doesn't then eat all the stuff I'm saving!

Well buy her chocolate hob nobs then?

“Almost a whole packet”

That probably means half a packet at most....

It’s funny how you don’t know what you don’t know - having someone that loves your child looking after her is worth so much more than these petty concerns. Hide the private stuff - nosiness and snack provision is part of the deal of the cheaper rates.

You also seem to think the reason to keep her on is money saving, it’s not, the reason is it’s the best childcare you can get outside of a parent if you have a competent grandparent.

You’re incredibly lucky.

Dearie me at you using the term ‘stuffing her face’. I knew it would be an uncharitable thread before I opened it and it was.
You mean she ate some biscuits while doing you an invaluable favour...and so what if she did? Don’t be so rude and tight-fisted in your regard of someone who is actually saving you a lot of expensive hassle.

As for looking at payslips I’ll go against the grain and say meh. My mil is welcome to look at mine...my pay is shit. I don’t care who knows it.

So next time you are stuffing your face with chocolate hobnobs, maybe you could leave a few for your mil.

I was childminding for my DS's children yesterday and I helped myself to a grape out of the fruitbowl! I did take a box of six cream cakes with me though, so I'm sure the theft was forgiven!

The threads around Christmas about "posh hot choc and snuggly PJs" also make me grind my teeth

Oh god me too! There's a thread going about an oPs family members that burst into song. It's with that on my cringometer.

Single did it trigger a small click as the tripwire started a very small surveillance camera?

I don't check the price of every single item when I am doing an online shop, what's so bizarre about it?

Somewhat lighthearted comment.

Go on Amazon and get a £20 plug in camera. We have one to watch our dogs. You literally plug it into a power socket, visit the manufacturer website and set up an account with an email and password and it will text you if it detects motion. Put it anywhere you don’t want her to go and then tell her in a lovely smiling way that you have a new security system so not to be alarmed if she sees cameras - it’s just to keep your home insurance down as it videos intruders. I am almost certain the nosy old bat won’t go rummaging again.

These MIL threads are so predictable. It’s usually about something really petty like stealing hobnobs whilst providing cheap childcare, or (shock horror) mil feeding DCs a happy meal, but then something totally at the other end of the spectrum is thrown into the post, such as MIL trawling through private documents. It’s as if posters know that the real reason they have posted is a petty one, so they add something else on where MIL has been totally inappropriate, to justify how horrible MIL is and get people onside.

Not unreasonable to be annoyed about the financial docs - you need to put those away but you are being unreasonable (and ungenerous) about the food and biscuits if I’m honest (sorry)

Now I can't stop thinking about Chocolate Hobnobs.

Aren't Hobnobs about £1, though?

If you're not paying full price for child care you need to chill out about a packet of hobnobs that cost a few quid.

If any one of my family members were looking after my children whether it was paid or unpaid I'd be so grateful, they could eat the entire contents of my cupboards and fridge if they wanted to. You know you're being unreasonable.

My MIL always tries to get upstairs in our house. I have to remind her that we have a downstairs loo and she always says she forgot. I found my bedroom door open when I got back home after she babysat. I had closed it and baby was sleeping downstairs until we went to bed.

Cheapest I can see chocolate hobnobs is 95p from JTF, for those familiar with the discount wholesale retailer.

£1 everywhere else.

I think we should ask MN to remove this thread or delete all references to "Posh chocs" Its upsetting us all. OP I did ask earlier what does your hubby think of it all ....??

“they could eat the entire contents of my cupboards and fridge if they wanted to.”

Seriously, I’d really like to see what would happen in RL if this came true.