To think you get less respect if you are fat

[Jojobears]

I’m currently fat (16/18), but have been slim previously.

I don’t know if it’s just my self esteem levels, but I really feel that I have less respect from people when I’m fat. Although I could be imagining it.

So, can I ask, do you treat people with less respect if they are fat.

Ps I’m not a daily fail journo. Heaven forbid they employ anyone with a house worth less than 500k

I've been in the overweight category but never obese or morbidly obese. People are nicer to me when I'm slim I think. I notice unkindness towards large people and it's unnecessary tbh.

Have to have the confidence to carry it or otherwise yes people will viee you differently. Just like any size or shape really.

I'm an 18 and I always have been (+ bigger) apart from when I was poorly after birth. So I carry it like it's my own skin, because it is 🤷

I don't know about respect, but I think fat people are definitely treated differently, yes.

Yes. But speaking as a fat person myself I often catch myself thinking negatively about fat people. It’s internalised prejudice. And why I don’t eat much in public. Terrible.

I treat everyone with equal respect
However I totally agree that many people do treat you differently
I’ve noticed a difference from when I was bigger (lost 7 stone so far)
It’s not just weight though I think people show me more respect when I’m in work clothes than when I’m dressed more casually

I don't think someone size 16/18 would necessarily be treated differently, but I've noticed people staring/ making comments etc when someone is obese

Yes. I agree.

Yes indeed YANBU

I think this is probably true. People are judgmental. For very overweight people I think the impression is laziness, whether that's justified or not. I'm overweight myself so not judging from the other side.

OP, you are right. I have found that being happy and confident in myself helps undermine their prejudice.

I work with a colleague who is morbidly obese. She is the most kindest, humble and gorgeous lady I have ever spoken to. She has a heart of gold. People treat her with respect but behind her back, they do wonder why is she so obese and how does she do her job (our jobs are physical) but she manages and does just fine. One thing is I do worry about her because she stresses herself out so much she starts getting out of break and panicky so I have to tell her to calm down.

It’s your self esteem imo. Nobody worth their weight treats a person differently because they’re fat. I used to be fat, all that changed was my own personal confidence and self esteem.

I think it may be the case. Does it happen as well with smokers?

I think if larger people are confident, well dressed and well groomed, they tend to be treated with respect

Eating in public is another discussion
I was sat on a bench a couple of days ago eating a piece of cold chicken - a very slender older lady walking past said to me pleasantly ‘are you enjoying that?’ I smiled and said ‘yes thank you’ to which she then replied ‘does in not make you feel guilty!?’
I was stunned as am currently a 10-12, it was lunchtime and it was a piece of chicken not something huge and calorific
Thankfully it didn’t bother me and I deduced she was the one with the problem
It did remind me of how I used to feel when I was bigger though

I’m a bit surprised at this question as it would never even cross my mind. My work colleagues and friends (some people are in both categories) are every size from an 8 to a 20 and I honestly never think about their size’s either positivity or negatively. As cliche as it sounds, their personality is what defines them (in my eyes). I have gone from a size 10 in my early 20’s to now a size 16 (damn menopause!) at nearly 50, and I don’t feel it’s had an impact on the way I’m treated. But then I don’t care myself about it. So that probably shows through. If you’re comfortable with your weight I think that gives you confidence that you don’t have if you’re feeling unhappy about it.

I don't know...over the years I've been fat and lost the weight and put it on again several times. It makes a difference to how I feel about myself, but I can't say I've noticed much difference in how other people treat me. But I am not very sensitive so it's quite possible I wouldn't notice.

I think it's more about confidence - but there definitively are some prejudice.

Sometimes it's projecting, same about work/casual clothes: I"ve never been treated differently with a suit or casual clothes.

I'm overweight and I get respect because I accept nothing less. Respect is given when people are confident enough to demand it. People probably make judgments about me or may not be as instinctively kind but I will not be treat like a second class citizen.

I'm an 18/20 and I definitely think I got more respect - and attention! - when I was smaller.

Sadly I've spent my whole life on a "diet" and have ranged from 9st/size 10 to 15st/size 20 between the ages of 21 and 45. I can be very determined and have lost the weight three times, but it invariably goes back on again as I appear to be incapable of controlling the powerful need to binge - often for days at a time. Until I fix that, dieting is largely pointless.

I veer from being very accepting of what I am, to wanting to slice off the rolls with a knife and wire my jaw shut. Or stop eating altogether...all or nothing, that's me. Mind you, I'd last 48 hours before buying a coffee cake and eating the lot.

I am currently fat and have been slim and I think there’s definitely a difference with some people. I feel doctors take me much less seriously now I’m fat too.

Definitely at work. There are a couple of very overweight ladies in middle management positions in my company and unfortunately although they are very smart and good at their jobs I find men in particular treat them with less respect/disregard their opinion especially behind their backs.

Interestingly I don't see overweight men being treated like this in our workplace.

For context I work in an office so weight / size doesn't affect anyone's ability to do their job.

Yes the thin people at work are seen as highly professional. Us poor fatties should just be grateful for the job. (16/18 here)

I'm a 20 - and have noticed no difference in levels of respect from when I was a 14. I have been told I have an "aura" that commands respect...

HOWEVER - I do notice that if I sit on a bus, people do not sit next to me if my hair is left natural, and they do if I straighten my hair. Seems more about looks than size...

As someone who had Bariatric surgery in December when I was 20st 10... I can tell you that without a doubt this is a thing.

It permeates every aspect of life from work, relationships, friendships and general interaction with the public.

I was ignored, sidelined and passively denigrated at 20 stone. Now I'm 11stone - suddenly I am worth taking notice of in all aspects of life. Being thinner makes my opinions matter !!

Watch out for Jenni Murray's new book 'Fat Cow'.. I have contributed to the research.. it addresses this exact issue.

I do recommend Bariatric surgery though 😉.. I feel so much healthier and happier in a way that it is impossible to quantify!