To think you get less respect if you are fat

[Jojobears]

I’m currently fat (16/18), but have been slim previously.

I don’t know if it’s just my self esteem levels, but I really feel that I have less respect from people when I’m fat. Although I could be imagining it.

So, can I ask, do you treat people with less respect if they are fat.

Ps I’m not a daily fail journo. Heaven forbid they employ anyone with a house worth less than 500k

@JaceLancs
wow, jace, that is unbelievable. I'm size 10-12 and if somebody walked up to me and asked me if I felt guilty for eating a protein based lunch I would be so shocked and confused.

Yes definitely. My supervisor male speaks badly to a lady at work, she is the kindest lady she is 27 stone, she never has a bad word to say about anyone, sticks to the job 100%, another colleague is about a size 18 to 20, people often refer to her weight when she is not around.
They are both treated differently to the slimmer colleagues.

Kitten, did you get it done on the NHS or private? X

Yes I think that bothers me the most - how I'm perceived at work. I think it's accepted that I'm generally good at what I do, but I'll never be "stand out" because I'm a bit fat. I'm that woman with the long hair whose mates with X on the board, nice looking but on the big side. Not bad at .

My bosses boss told me a few weeks ago (after 25 pints of lager) that when you have a face as beautiful as mine, the body doesn't matter.

Er. Thanks?

@JaceLancs I would have replied “Does asking questions like that of strangers make you feel rude?”

I notice people giving me less respect when I’m fatter, yes. When I was 6 stone heavier people used to shout at me in the street, which never happens now. I work in a field where self-discipline is considered really important so I do wonder if at work part of it is people assuming a fat person has no self-control and might be erratic / loosey-goosey in other ways too.

Some people are overweight due to medical
conditions and med side effects ; I'm a few stone over myself , menopausal and struggling to lose it ( despite my efforts) so I don't judge as I'm not in the position to judge anyone! I do hate seeing very young people carrying too much weight but it's not all black and white as to why they might be.

It used to be smokers that were vilified now it's anyone overweight . No easy answers to any of it really.

You are absolutely right. It's disgraceful and comes from some really awful assumptions and prejudices, often from people who haven't the foggiest about weight issues.

My first reaction would be admiration for someone slim because it's so hard to keep your weight down when surrounded by delicious food all the time.
And carrying several extra kilos is tiring, it must be awful if you are morbidly obese so I feel sorry for them which is not respectful.

It's a real and prevalent thing. When l was a size 8 l was treated very differently to now as a 14/16.

I read an article recently about a woman being offended because someone said she should eat a sandwich. Of course, this is unacceptable - my now mil used to be on my case about how little l ate in her opinion all the time. But the writer also called her out for not acknowledging her thin privilege. Thin people ARE more likely to be treated well, get a job over a fat person who may even have slightly better qualifications and dont get me started at the amount of times l've been weighed at the doctors when the issue is CLEARLY nothing to do with my weight.

I was sat on a bench a couple of days ago eating a piece of cold chicken - a very slender older lady walking past said to me pleasantly ‘are you enjoying that?’ I smiled and said ‘yes thank you’ to which she then replied ‘does in not make you feel guilty!?’

Probably a vegan

The issue is that the majority of fat people have no medical reason or excuse. There hasn't been an increase in medical conditions in the recent years. There has been an increase of junk food.

There seem to be a fashion of people becoming very fit and competing in all sorts of events around the work place. The ones who don't join in stand out.

@The80sweregreat you're totally right. It did used to be smokers, l never made that connection before. I guess now there are fewer smokers to target and fat people are easy pickings. I often read non medical people telling overweight people all about how they are going to get diabetes, have a heart attack and generally be a drain on the NHS.

My weight has gone up and down dramatically over the years due to medication and illness- when I get ill my weight goes up by about 7 stone in a few months and when I start to feel better I am able to lose most of it.

I can say 100% that you get treated better when you're slimmer.

@that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 maybe in your workplace. I run 5k three times a week and am bridging to 10k. I always take part in the rounders and all the other fun stuff the workplace come up with.

Agree with you OP.

YANBU
I used to be size 8 in my early 20’s. I’m now an 18+.

My late fil smoked all his life and was thin as a rake: he didn't drink though
I have never smoked but I enjoy a glass of wine at weekends at home and probably judged for being overweight! The way we can access food 24/7 has also changed
: just eat on the apps , takeaways open all night sometimes, more restaurants around than ever before, chips with everything under the sun.
I know people don't have to eat it , but the temptation is bigger than when I was younger ( many moons ago) it's easy to get hold of. I didn't go out to eat at all and takeaways were rare.
People work 24/7 too so mealtimes have been sidelined .
The dinner round the table had been replaced in many homes I guess.
I know it sounds like excuses but it's all played it's part.

Most definitely. I'm a yoyo dieter by several stone (sadly) and I find that I am treated differently . People are kinder, more courteous and generally nicer to slimer people . Often when I'm fatter I'll get called ' dear ' in shops ffs !
But I'll also add I'm different to my self as well. The thinner me is more confident, a little more out spoken , I accept many more invites out , won't try to avoid people of I see them but they don't see me (very guilty of that !) and also I dress differently as the summer me as well. shame I'm fatter more Often than slim

@that25cUKHeatwaveof2019
You don’t know what people are suffering from. I am not my size by choice.

I used to be fat, am now slim, and yes you do get treated differently, I get the impression people take more notice of you when you are slender as if your opinions matter more - they don't. I had a medical appointment recently with a nurse who asked me if I was sticking to a sensible diet - she said try to keep the weight off this time and she weighed at least 20 stone! What a cheek.

Some nhs staff are also overweight .

They like to ramp up the guilt ( as it isn't good to be overweight at all) but it's hard to take it too seriously they are also struggling. They probably have access to a canteen which is low on healthy alternatives and eating on the go and shift work must also play havoc with their eating habits.
Again, no easy answers but if someone overweight tries to lecture then it may fall on deaf ears to the ones that may need to take some advice.
If governments try to get involved then they are called ' the nanny state'
It's a vicious circle.

Mummyoflittledragon

not saying ALL
but having a few real exceptions doesn't change the fact. People in our countries over-eat, and they are fat. They even over-fed their pets, and these get fat too.

Most use all the excuses in the book, it doesn't change the facts - the human race hasn't changed so drastically in recent years, and the fact that's it's also cultural shows it.

My point was exactly that: because of all the over-eater, people have less sympathy for the one person suffering from medical issues.

Yes it’s a thing. They’ve done lots of studies on it

I've been in the 'obese' category in the past and am currently very slim. I can confidently say that my weight/body shape makes absolutely no difference to how people treat me. People were nice to me back then. And they're equally nice to me now.